Shopping is always an adventure for me. Not only because I have three kids….that is a task I tell you. But because I have twins and for some awful reason I have tattooed on my head:
INVADE HER PRIVACY! ASK ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS AND BE RUDE ABOUT IT!
Yes I get all the dumb twins questions along with the questions that make me ask….”Do I also have I am a dumb and or retarded Mom?” tattooed on my head. I mean I know I had kids…but come on now. So after many stops of “Oh! Are they twins?” I finally have resorted to answering, “No….I liked the little girl so much I stole her since I was sick of this many boys” Thank goodness no one hears what I say since the majority that ask this question need the assistance of a hearing device. So I kindly nod my head like that bobble toy on your dash.
Okay so back to shopping. The kids and I visited Goodwill as I love Goodwill. I think thrift and secondhand stores are awesome for all the treasures, the baby clothes that are awesome and the jeans! I mean come on….jeans should never be donated they are timeless. So there we are shopping and finding all sorts of FABULOUS bargains when this woman approaches me. I am not one to judge, but she screamed DUMB ASS! Here is what fell out of her mouth to me:
(bad accent of some sorts, southern in nature) Oh look……a baby. Oh look, two babies….hmmmm….they ain’t twins are they? They sure as much do not look like each other….they can’t be twins….well….. I guess since one is a boy and one is a girl. Are they yours? Hmmm…..so these are your only children huh? Amazing what technology can do?
I smiled. If you know me you know I had to refrain from slapping the old hag. So I said ever so politely, “Yes they are twins, they do look like each other even for being opposite sex. And, if your curiosity is killing you that much twins run in my family.”
All I could do was smile and laugh…YIKES!
So then while Grant and I were together looking at some items he makes this utterly random comment to me:
“Mama, I don’t want a shiny pee pee.”
Yup just like that. I about wet my pants and then looked at him like WTF are you talking about? Who is shining your wanker that we need to be worrying about it. So I asked my boy so lovingly:
“Grant-baby what do you mean you don’t want a shiny pee pee?”
“You know Mama….shiny boots, shiny chest, helmet with a feather….I don’t want the shiny pee pee and everything else is shiny.”
Okay….so the knight costumer he has hounded me about has gained more detail. No shiny pee pee. Alrighty. But everything else in the knight costume must be shiny. Got it.