Category: Family Life

Herring family adventures, Jeep life, organic living. Karie Herring, Jeep aficionado, organic advocate and chef, details life as a reformed corporate woman, wife and motherhood to her twins and tween.

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Everything Happens for a Reason

I hate cliches. Nothing pisses me off more than a sappy, true to the heart cliche. Well, unless I am that cliche. A walking, living, breathing, truism in life. You see, for the last twelve months much of my life has been happening for a reason. Even more so, my faith in humanity and the just good of people makes my heart swell with joy.

You see just three short weeks ago corporate America tried to break my spirit. I worked for a misogynist. He feared my greater success over his, due to the fact that he had capped out his career based on his competency level. Plain English, he was a dumb ass. Bless his heart. With that being said, what actions do intellectually inept female hating bosses take? They seek to eliminate a threat. So he did, and I was fired for not lying in an email. But that’s another story. A rather good one to share as well. I digress, back to the story of why things happen for a reason.

The moment I was delivered the news of my termination I had a sense of calm, a relief rather and I knew that everything was going to be alright. Despite the fact that all the cells in my body were screaming, “Fuck!!! This is a mess…”

For weeks the cosmos were sending me signs, much like this one. Actually, my husband sent me this sign, but it is one that is forever changing our lives.Juice Bar ad

As I mentioned, over the last year things have been happening for a reason to lead up to where we are today. So during this time I have been talking endlessly about my dreams. You know? The dreams kids have. The dreams of what they want to be when they grow up. I have been dreaming big. I love to cook. I love to write. I love to serve people. I love to help. I wanted a restaurant, bistro, cafe. All mine with my own menu, flair, panache and to take in ego boosting, voyeurism of watching people eat and enjoy my food. But I kept thinking not yet; now is not the time. In the meantime, what’s a girl to do with all of these passions? Apparently you are suppose to get fired from a decent paying corporate job and go opening a freaking juice bar is what you are suppose to do! God had plans for me and I was not going about his plans the way I was intended so he was making destiny happen.

I was at a crossroads when I was leaving my former employer. Shaking, trembling, crying, grieving, cursing. What a horrible process to experience for anyone, is the grief of being fired by a dolt. Then the process of attempting to find other employment all while your dream is staring you in the face. So here I am. Writing this post to share with each of you that dreams do come true. Dreams are attainable. Never sell yourself short! Go for the goal. Reach for the stars. Get out of your comfort zone. My faith has tested me more in the last three weeks about my level of comfort than in the years I have been alive.

Please do not get me wrong. I am scared shitless! I am hopeful with my love of God and his sweet son Jesus that this project is going to pull through. A part of me is saying, “just suck it up Kar and go get an eight to five job and grind it out and maybe we can build the dream on the side.” But the divine infused part of me is telling me to grab the bull by the horns, slap it’s ass and serve him up for dinner! YE HAW!

juice barWith all this being said, please take a moment to check out what we are doing on Kickstarter. It’s a quick blip. We are doing what we love. I love God. I love people. I love to serve. I love to cook. I love my family and by golly I am going to do STUFF! So help us do some stuff. We are already seeing support. I watched Facebook explode when I posted this. Sadly I felt a bit of shame at first.

I was battling with myself to hit the big green SUBMIT button that was looking at me in the face. My divinely infused brain was yelling at my right hand to click the mouse while my scared shitless self was being a punk. In between my ears all I heard was shame. Beggar. Mooch. Scrounger. Bullshit. God took hold because I hit submit and within minutes a childhood friend from kindergarten kick-started my movement. My eyes welled and burned from the tears. The muscles in my jaw were contracting as my cheeks tightened to fight back all the emotion of love, joy, and HOLY SHIT this is happening feeling that was rushing over me in waves. Notifications were going off in my feed. I saw my photo in my Facebook stream as my friends liked and shared my story. My thanksgiving cannot be fully placed into words how He is working. How my friends are helping me to go make a difference, to make my mark.

Come share in our joy and successes. Help us to make a difference in this world, even if it is the smallest difference, that one small difference could be someone’s entire world that they are paying forward. Won’t you pay it forward. Share our Kickstarter. Just passing on the word is payment enough. Thank you friends for all your support as we go on our new adventure with food!

 

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Kindergarten is the Big Day with Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats

This post is brought to you by Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats. All opinions are my own.kelloggs, cereal, kindergarten

All winter parents were longing for the dog days of summer to arrive. When the day finally came for the kids to depart from the crayons, pencils and elementary learning’s, groaning ensued once more from parents counting the days until school resumed. This year our fish family ventured into a new era as the twins had their first big day celebrating their fifth birthday and we counted our days all summer until the little squids had their first day of kindergarten.

What better way to start the BIG DAY right but with the most important meal of the day, breakfast! My three fish kids started their morning off with a bowl of Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats with skim milk. Although my daughter will secretly confess she prefers hers without milk at times. Frosted Mini Wheats has eight layers of whole grain fiber to help kids feel full and focused to conquer their first BIG DAY.

Karie Herring, five fish, kindergarten, twinsNot only were the twins beginning their education adventure but they were enrolling in a new school environment. We helped to prepare them by doing some of the following to make that first BIG DAY less hectic and reduce their anxiety:

  • Chose their own clothes and shoes for the school year
  • Picked out their own school supplies
  • Showed excitement for picking out backpacks
  • Let them choose their own lunch pails
  • Stress free excitement (from parents)

As parents we often forget the last step in helping our children to tackle their BIG DAY is to show lots of positive reinforcement and excitement and pocket all the stress. Not only are our kids anxious and a little stressed but so are the parents. Remember that everyday can be a BIG DAY with tests, activities and the like for our kids when school is in session. We can help them overcome any fears and anxiety with lots of simple fun, excitement, and always focus on the positive.

Did your kids have a BIG DAY this year when returning to school? Any major milestones like my twins entering kindergarten? For more BIG DAY success stories, tips, and ideas visit: http://www.scholastic.com/pcbigday/

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Whos guffawing over the detachment parent

Maintaining the wild giggle to myself of the faded memory of the TIME magazine cover I too shake my head in misunderstanding of the critical judgment passed by parents and non-parents alike. I wonder why we “freak out” to see that a parent so chooses a path to nurture and bond with their child that may be socially out of norm, albeit unacceptable to a vast majority. Yet the parent that lets their child run the streets, is unaware of any retardation they may experience that puts them at a huge disadvantage among other children, and lacks the parental attachment necessary to provide basic loving care is ignored. Not even a huff, snort, or pissy remark given to this form of action and behavior.

I am talking about a parent that has no nurturing qualities whatsoever. I am speaking to a parent that lets their child leave the house and is unaware of their disappearance and is not in the least bit concerned to their childs whereabouts. I am speaking to a parent who has fully admitted the only reason the child is in their life is to save their marriage.

And we thought breastfeeding a kindergartner was preposterous.

Copyright of Sarah Maizes Moms.Today.com

What I find most appalling is the fact that this parent ADOPTED their child. They CHOSE this child. They CHOSE to bring a special needs child into their home. They CHOSE this life. Call me callous, but this is like adopting a dog. Now when faced with the challenges that childhood brings with this child and the struggles of social growth and cognitive skills they seem to think that this behavior is the norm and ignore the fact their child has greater needs that some parents do not have the capacity to work with, through, or have any experience in the matter. They seem to brush the kid under the rug like he or she is the everyday norm, run of the mill standard kid with no special needs.

I struggle with this parent daily due to our close proximity. I have struggled to not write on this subject because of the damning effect. I struggle as I watch this parent spend more quality time with the family dogs on her daily constitutional than she does quality time with her child. I fight the urge to tell her to fuck off when her child randomly leaves their home and she is unaware of his disappearance, or maybe she is aware and does not exude concern, and the child shows up at my house, unannounced, unwanted, as the child stands at my doorstep entitled to come in and spend time with our family. I find pity and concern and anger with this situation that the child finds solace and acceptance in my home despite my hidden anger, concern, and lastly my pity.

This child acts as an ape in my home, climbing on counters, standing on counters and other household items that are not meant for this type of behavior. Pulling my window coverings from their bases in the walls leaving gaping wounds in my drywall needing to be repaired due to his feral behavior. I had patience and understanding in the beginning, knowing his situation. At first I made excuses that the child needed to know the boundaries in our home, to understand our rules and so we discussed healthy boundaries and rules.

Out the window….like their coverings.

I tried to reason and explain to the parents what his behavior entailed so as not to have a repeat offense.

Ignored.

Now, as the child visits my home on an almost every weekend basis I am faced with a rage I can no longer bridle from this parent who lacks any form of attachment, love, or concern for her CHOSEN child. The child is very special needs and quite frankly I am not equipped to deal with this sort of child that is not mine. I do not have the skills to entertain him on the days that are MINE to spend with my flesh and blood. To relax and enjoy my children because I am too spun and wound tighter than a drum because THIS child invades my home. Call me selfish, I can. Not my kid. You are probably thinking: “Don’t let him in,” “Send the child home,” all warranted responses to which I say, I am not the one letting him enter our home.

Often times the child shows up and is let in by my husband, sometimes my kids. If left to me I would leave him at the door at which he compulsively rang the door bell where I would want to rip the notification device from the wall to prevent further use. I then begin to question the motives of the mother who once sent him over stating, “It’s my weekend to relax and I want my time.” I nearly cam unglued and my rage almost got the better of me as I began to hoof my angry, selfish, self-righteous ass over to her house to demand she explain who the hell she was to make such claims and assume the weekends were not my family’s either. TWAT!

I digress.

So I then question her motives again. My only assumption is her daft obliviousness to the fact that we have goings on in our lives, that we do not just sit around waiting for her to send her child off to our home to give her reprieve, she must just think that since we have three children…in the grand scheme what is one more. Again I curse TWAT and how dare she. But then I thought, why not play her game. One day the child came to the door and we sent our THREE children in tow with this child back to his home for a full on play date at their house.

The silence lasted about week. It was bliss.

Until the weekend this child came to the door on a Sunday, of all weekends, that we all decided to sleep in. By sleep in, I mean we all slept until roughly nine in the morning. The morning was glorious until I was ripped from my peaceful morning arousal by the door bell, a knock at the door, dogs barking fervently. FUCK!

Running to the door I answered and politely sent the boy away as he attempted to pout and I bit my adult lip to not rip his head off. Meandering back to my room to lay quietly again in my comfy bed to get my wits about me I hear another knock. Short of losing my shit altogether I advise my eldest son that is awake to ignore the door and the child coming to it every fifteen minutes. For an hour the child paces in front of our house after being sent away and finally I cannot take it and so I text the mother to see if she understands the gravity of the situation. Advising her I sent the boy home at nine…by now it is fifteen after 10 in the morning.

She doesn’t catch my drift.

Then the child is trying his hand at jimmying open my son’s bedroom window. At this point my husband is awake, because my sleeping lion has now come full rage and is about to pull the kid home by his ears. By no means am I a violent person, but the events that have taken place have pushed me to corporal actions. My husband calms me for a moment, steps outside and takes the boy aside, speaks to him and sends him on his way. While I pace furiously through my kitchen eyeing the events to the front of my house through my dining room window, I cannot take anymore shenanigans. I text the mother to explain that their child was sent away an hour ago because we wanted to sleep in without their child coming over for once, I explain him pacing in front of our house for the hour, I explain the attempted break in.

Crickets.

No apology.

No admission of guilt.

Not even giving a fuck.

Then I am speechless. At a complete loss to the lack of concern on behalf of this parent. Their child was away from their home with no known whereabouts for more than a hour. They had assumptions I am sure. Let me further caveat all this that the child is EIGHT years old with special needs. Born of a mother who abused alcohol and drugs. A child who has spent his entire life in some form of therapy classes for social, cognitive, and other basic skills born unto children who are not born of the deficiencies he faces. But clearly he is of sound mind and body to walk around a neighborhood block, on a very heavy traffic neighborhood street, to come play with my children, without supervision on his jaunt, without concern of his whereabouts.

Maybe I am blowing the whole situation out of proportion. Maybe I just care to the whereabouts of my children. Maybe I care to their concern and to that of others. Maybe I enjoy to just spend time with my children on the weekends after I work all week. I am selfish in that I do not want to watch another parents child who sends them off so they can have peace and quiet. Maybe I find that there is a happy medium between the attachment and detached parenting ideals. I like that my children are their own person and being, sleep on their own, completed breastfeeding at one year, but still have me tuck them in at night, I have them still hold my hand across the street and through parking lots, I find that more of being a concerned, loving parent, than fitting into any mold of parenting principles.

When has the detached parenting gone too far? Or in this case was their any “parenting” involved at all?

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The Stay at Home Dad – Manny or Daddy

dad, daddy, raising kids

stay at home dad, man, husband, chad herringOur current economic atmosphere has evolved a new breed of a stay at home parent. Formerly mothers were the primary care givers in the home and the most likely proponent to attend PTO meetings, running the kids to sports activities, and doing the household upkeep. Homes used to be comprised of a working father and stay at home mother, very a-typical, very “Cleaver-esque,” very reminiscent of our grandparents, possibly our parents of the baby-boomer era. The idolization of the American dream of a stay at home parent to raise our children and the other parent in the workforce, “bringing home the bacon.” However, as aforementioned, the weather has shifted and as a society, more and more dads are in the home world heading up the household at her core. Now mom is the one who is bringing home, and sometimes, frying up the bacon too.

Yet how much credit is afforded to these men who collide head on with the “stay at home” job? Men are men, and they do not have the same nurturing and caring as women do who often take to the stay at home career much more gracefully. Not to say fathers and men cannot be as effective, I am only indicating that the vagina is an upper-hand in the soft touch of caring for a home and family. But again, who is to say that a man cannot keep his hardened parenting style as the brute force in parenting, and carry on a softness and tenderness that emanates greatness in our children.

My husband is one of these men. He is my hero. He was formerly a manny. A slapstick reference to his job by calling himself a male nanny (manny) where he was and is much more than that. Gifted with a layoff leaving him unemployed, we thought to only be temporary, has become a full-time opportunity that has afforded him time with our children that fathers are not often privileged to experience. He wakes with them in the morning, they ask for him at bed for good-night story time, and they are all different people, The Chad included, because of the power of daddy. Many men “claim” to be a stay at home dad, where mom works in the home and dad happens to stay at home and claim to be a care taker, but really he is a glorified babysitter, not a true parent, not a true parental caregiver, nurturer. I say that very cavalier because these men are aware they lack the nurturing gift of fatherhood, a gift and art learned only through precious time spent with their children. Face it, most dads fumble with the kids only because mom comes in and takes over, rules the roost, puts out any fires and calms all the storms. Moms have only learned this by experience, gifted again with precious time with the children, the nurturing that begins from womb to breast as we hold our babes tightly. Men have a different experience and much different than the woman’s, so some detachment can be expected, they do not have 40 weeks of bonding prior to delivery.

stay at home dad, twins, raising kids, parenthoodI say that men fumble because they do, at no fault of their own. I commend any dad who will spend alone time with his children sans mom. Sans a woman of any sorts to jump in with maternal instinct to care and nurture and fix the errors dads should be afforded to make when adventuring through parenthood, fatherhood. Ladies how many times have you bitched, moaned, groaned or carried on because dad served up peanut butter and jelly for dinner and didn’t prepare the three course meal topped with sparkling water in a clear glass tumbler? I have a few small words for you if they have done this – FUCK YOU and of course GET OVER IT. Admittedly you know you have had moments of weakness where a full meal was not served, you have half assed the house keeping, or best yet, you ponied up to hire a housekeeper because “you don’t have the time” or “the energy” or flat out you cannot handle the way your husband handles the housekeeping for you because its not “your way.” I pity you for your coarse and selfish behavior. I pity you for not appreciating a man who is willing to be that bigger man and take on a traditional feminine role for the greater good of the family unit. Given any amount of time men glide through the home calming any household storm, simmering a sibling bickering bout, and giving to his wife with the truest love and affection money cannot buy.

I could not be more blessed and more honored for my husband and all his struggles to take on his role as a true daddy in our house. We will be able to look back on these years and be thankful that each of us was afforded time to be home with our kids and watch them grow in different phases of their lives; no one ever knows how rewarding being a stay at home dad or a stay at home mom job really is until they have done it. We will never regret any sacrifices and or struggles during this time because we gave of ourselves to our children, selflessly and with the utmost love.

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Beyond Coastal Sunscreen Products

Living in Arizona brings a very harsh and dry climate. We have over 300 days of pure, unadulterated sunshine each year. So for an active family like ours, we are constantly in use of a sun protecting product to prevent sun damaged skin and thwart the idea of skin cancer. Furthermore we own a pool, so the majority of our summer experience is spent beside or in that pool or at the local lakes. Our family also enjoys camping and other outdoor sports and activities which puts us in the glow of our warming star. Sun protectant is HUGE  and vital in our home and we go through a lot of it.

But as an Eco-conscious mom and one that looks for overall protection, benefits, and a small carbon footprint I also want to make sure I am using something that will be safe on my children. Additionally I don’t want to pretend I am snowed over on a product, especially one that was provided for a review free of charge. Shall we dig into the details.

I recently signed up for a campaign with Global Influence to review a sunscreen line, Beyond Coastal.

I have never heard of the product. never seen them, their brand has never been brought to my attention. So the product is a perfect platform to review as it is not a brand I normally purchase or something I would seek out; often seen amongst most review bloggers. Ahem.

Mind you I will be full disclosure, I have nothing to hide and I have no shame. All participants of the review were advised that they were to post the week of April 30th. As you can see that time has clearly passed. We all waited and were notified that the products were “on their way and additional time would be provided.” Because my time is extremely valuable and priceless because I work outside the home and am the sole provider for my household, this dilly dally attitude was not befitting to me for their demands of a timeline. I sent a few emails, of which went unanswered until push come to shove, as I asked for the new timeline, an ETA for arrival, some answers; like I said, being a bitch gets you an answer. Normally when you create and setup a project with a deadline you provide levels of communication, of which were lacking. Not to mention the company that was providing the product was delayed in shipping the product. Duly noted.

Arriving nicely packed in a bubble wrap envelope, I tore in to see what was entailed to review:

  • Citrus Grove Lip Balm SPF 15 – .15oz
  • Active Face Stick Sunscreen SPF 30 – .50oz
  • Natural Clear Sunscreen SPF 30 (Clean and Clear) – 1oz
  • Active Sunscreen SPF 30 (Water Resistant) – 1oz
  • Natural Sunscreen Kids 30+ (Kid Safe) – 2.5oz
Now I am an avid and active runner and run at all times of the day. So I was drawn to the Active Face Stick, something I could pocket and take on my run that I could reapply if I were to be out more than 30 minutes at a time. I applied, exactly as the directions intended, liberally. However, I confess that while I was liberal, I felt like I just caked on a load of Vaseline on my face after I began to perspire into my run, yet it smelled like a fresh lemon, rather nice I suppose. But then the sunscreen was running into my eyes, burning them, causing me to turn right around and bag my run. Fail. Not a selling point on this product. Later I read on the website how it boasts that it,  “Acts as a wind-chap to keep your face protected during skiing and snow sports” (Beyond Coastal – Active Face Stick, 2012). So I suppose running isn’t the active genre they were engaging, more the ski and snow sports, like snowball fights in a bunny suit. Oh I digress.
Moving on to the kids sunscreen. I began to investigate the ingredients. I did this after I read three of the already published reviews where mom’s never addressed the actual product, but that sunscreen is vital to their children and they want a “safe product.” Fantastic, could not agree more. However I begged the question on why the hell, and I quote this from the product site, a kids sunscreen needs a skin cell builder. I even looked at my husband and begged the same question. I even left the issue open ended,
“When you hear ‘skin cell builder’ what comes to mind?”
Anti-aging.
Right….for kids?
Last I checked my kids are not in fear of needing botox injections or face lifts, so why an added filler for the sunscreen. I think this might be a bunch of hooey in the product if you ask me.
Comfrey Plant Extract Skin Cell Builder, Protects and Soothes
 (Beyond Coastal Kids Natural Sunscreen, 2012)
Research and investigation in the products showed me that the majority have some level of alcohol which causes drying and my favorite ingredient that was boasted about being a skin conditioner. Can I tell you what this magical ingredient is that other reviewers didn’t share, “Castor Isostearate Succinate.” Can you pronounce it? Probably not and the likelihood of knowing what is really in this is probably just as likely, so I will share with you, the Castor is a type of vegan bean that makes an oil which is rather moisturizing if used properly. I make soap and I use Castor as well as other vegan products that can be pronounced, like Olive Oil. Sigh, let me get back to my point, the “Castor Isostearate Succinate” is a polymeric mixture of esters. In plain English, it is a concoction of synthetics. AWESOME (with a hallelujah ring to this word). But the product is “all natural.” Okay…if your food comes pre-wrapped and is beige I can get on board with that, but mine has color and I know where it came from, someone’s yard, aka a farm. Sheesh I digress again.
I really could not bring myself to review much else of the products offered other than the lip balm, which I left to my darling and ever so accommodating husband. Who was so gracious to tell me that the lip balm is, “soothing on my chapped lips without being waxy or feeling like a buildup.” Well said dear, thank you for this redeeming statement.
But if you like free loot and you would like to try the product please feel free to enter this awesome giveaway that Beyond Coastal and Resourceful Mommy Media – Global Influence have provided for your enjoyment. Leave me a little comment telling me what are your uses for sunscreen?
Extra entries include:
  • Subscribing to my facetious feed
  • Like The Fish
  • Promote this on Facebook by sharing from The Five Fish
  • Leave a comment on a non-giveaway post….there are quite a few 😉
  • Enter one of my other giveaways

Contest ends June 9th at 12:01am AZ time.

As always: No Purchase Necessary, available to US residents. One entry per household. US postcard entries also acceptable if you do not have access to the above entry options, no limit to postcard entries as long as all are received before the close of the contest, email contests@thefivefish.com for your postcard entry details or to use email as your postcard entrance as these entries will be logged by the administrator of the blog. Winners will be chosen by “And the Winner is” Failure to adhere to the aforementioned rules set forth by this contest will result in forfeiture of your entry with no notice. Facebook does not promote, endorse, nor sponsor this review and giveaway and will be held harmless. As always, good luck and enjoy. My opinions herein are my own and are no way influenced by the receipt of a free product, they are an honest reflection of myself and my review of the integrity of the product.

“Disclosure: I was provided with a Natural Family Pack travel case of Beyond Coastal sun products at no cost in order to promote the product and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were not influenced by the company or the free product provided.”

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The Job of Mom

Sweating profusely and panting I watched the closed captioning for the evening news on Fox while riding the bike at the gym. Wholeheartedly giggling at the headline, “Stay at home mom wars.” You have to be kidding me? Now the media and political genre has picked up on the stay at home plight to discredit these women. Here I thought this was only reserved for those bitches who own blogs, yet work outside of the home and have yet been afforded the opportunity to be an in home caregiver for their own spawn.

I watched as the news was delivered, the debates about a certain journalist vomiting of her mouth about how a political game players wife should not be any authority of business decisions and current economic policy because she has never worked a day in her life. Further I giggled that these deplorably, over-educated, imbeciles rattled and spouted off about scenarios they themselves have yet to encounter in their lifetime. Highly entertaining news television for my evening workout as I peddled even more fervently to their idiocy. Women who have not struggled financially, personally in the job and role of motherhood, and who never stayed home a day in their life with their children without “hired help.”

You see I laugh because I have worked in both jobs as a mom, stay at home and work outside the home mom.

My eldest son was the ripe age of seven weeks when I enrolled him into a child care facility while I returned to work. My first week was heart wrenching as I cried each morning as I left him in the care of another woman. Only two and a half years later was I able to have the opportunity to stay at home with him, and soon after,conceive and birth my twins, care for them, see them reach the age of two before again returning to the workforce. My return was not one that was taken lightly and I still struggle.

Viewing myself more now as a provider and not a care giver I am not always feeling the job of mom. The struggling feeling that you are more of the hired help, yielding income to support your family; weekends, week night evenings, and just about any spare time is filled with the maintenance of keeping up a home as well as trying to ensure some form of maternal parenting is provided to our children as a strong foundation into their upbringing. It’s lifestyles like this that have encouraged many stay at home parents to pursue an education from one of the many online accredited colleges. no way am I discrediting my husband for his strong paternal role with our children which is monumental where most households experience the opposite, dad at work and mom at home with the kids. He is a phenomenal father, patient, kind, and a strong force for our sons and our daughter. Something I did not have in my home, and am ever pleased that they have such a loving man in their life.

Being a mom is not easy because we are so universal in our children’s foundation. We are initially the delivery vehicle for birth, to be brought into this world, a food source with the milk of our breasts, we provide comfort, security, love to our crying babes with our soothing delicate voices, our touch, arms to bear, hug, and embrace them. We also make sure to promote our children’s independence, despite our innate sense to always protect our children from harm, we push for them to learn on their own in spite of the struggles we know they will face. A mother should be loving and assertive as to stand her ground on what is right so as to encourage just actions and a moral compass for the future of these young individuals.

Motherhood aside, a “mom” is also a wife, lover, friend, co-worker, employee, woman, girl, child, daughter, sister. So we must learn to balance the motherhood role in life in addition to those roles we have taken on or assumed. I struggle on being a mom, wife, friend, lover, and woman. Not knowing when I can “treat” myself to those moments that were predefined in my life prior to the conception of my children. When can I revisit being a woman. A wife. A lover. If you scoff at this notion, clearly you are unaware of the actions of lumping a husband into the children pool, often emasculating him and issuing forms of discipline and condescension that we inflict because we are so often in “mommy mode.” We forget to be a lover, and embrace our femininity. By doing so does not make us selfish but well rounded, healthy, and aware of who we are and not losing our sense of self.

No matter if the job of mom is staying at home or working outside of the home, we are a mother nonetheless. We just, however, juggle the various roles that accompany our number one job which is being a mom. Loving those unconditionally that we bore of our own flesh and blood, safeguarding in their present and future, and yet pedagogical to foster learnings.

What do you struggle with in the job of mom? Do you sometimes feel a disconnect because you work outside the home? Do you feel a disconnect or lack of appreciation for being a stay at home mom?

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Inns and Outs of Spring Break

For over eight years The Chad and I have been deprived of a REAL vacation. You know the kind where you request paid time off with your employer with that hard earned vacation time that generally get’s paid out on your check. The kind where you actually leave home and relax. Yes, this is the vacation we have been seeking. While we took a small “vacation” to San Diego a few years ago where we treated the kids to a full day at the beach and Legoland, the vacation could be classified more so as a trip. We managed to squeeze in a “mini-vacation” for the kids while The Chad was working in the Southern California area at the time.

This year we vowed to actually take the kids on an adventure vacation in the states. Visiting the beach was definitely on the list and we wanted to do something out of the ordinary. We also wanted to avoid theme parks and canned vacations s at ALL costs. So my Google search began to find unique places to stay and keep within our earthy, love of the outdoors, family style vacation without going too granola. I had found it too, and wish I could recall how I came upon the idea of sleeping in a tee pee. Yes, I said tee pee. As in Native American, triangular, authentic, tee pee. A KOA located in the midst of an agricultural mecca (Ojai) between Santa Barbara and Santa Paula had these fantastic six to eight man tee pee’s to sleep in. “BINGO!” I told myself. Now pitching to The Chad was another task, I knew the kids would buy in, but would The Chad.

My master powers of persuasion were of superior quality in selling this family vacation, out-of-state and pseudo camping. Now we would gain the popular vote of the kids to see if they really wanted to trudge through crowds of cattle at the theme parks, or go camping in a tee pee. Thankfully my kids shared in my granola spirit to enjoy the great outdoors and spend time as a family sans modern technology and instantly gratifying, cartoon infested parks. Now to plan the drive as the camp area was at least an eight hour drive from home and not a journey either of us wanted to take in one shot. So we mapped the half way point which landed us in Palm Springs. Then we had to decide on our stay since it was literally just a midway for us during the vacation and did not have to be anything spectacular. But when I say it did not have to be spectacular it also did not have to mean it lacked ANY and ALL redeeming qualities.

Copyright Days Inn, 2012

I booked our stay at the Days Inn through Hotels.com and considering our past visits with the Days Inn we “assumed” these accomodations would be as convenient and agreeable. Oh how wrong I was! I booked a Deluxe with each stay and the deluxe afforded me the second story, which I specifically requested NOT to be booked. Small children and lugging bags is not deluxe if YOU are the concierge. The room lacked ANY form of caffeine for the early risers. A lot of good the microwave and fridge does me when I need caffeine for my morning beast. The sheets were…clean…if you could call them that. A mascara smear stained on the sheets in the fashion that the previous user received a good ol’ snogging doggy style, presumably. If you wanted to clean up and take a shower, I hope you are at least knee high to a grasshopper, because resting on your knees would afford you the chance to wet and rinse your hair and body, and if you got lucky a scalding, high heat rinse would complete your washing experience as to remove any form of germs on your body followed by an ice showering to close and tighten those aging pores. Finally the “heating and cooling” system, which was similar to a window AC unit a fraternity brother installed. We had to shim the venting with an empty bottle of shampoo in order to circulate any air in the room. Needless to say I was anxious to go camping than I was to be in this shady ass excuse for hotel accommodations. But look at that happy Photoshop family picture and the site boasts the boutique hotel? HOGWASH!!

On the road again and we were KOA bound to roast marshmallows and camp out in a tee pee. We could not be more excited.

% KOA Campgrounds

We arrived at a reasonable time in the afternoon to enjoy the warmth of the sun and the cool of the shade in this little gem outside of Santa Paula and Ojai. Our tee pee was the largest on the property and we plotted out where everything would go, such as our camp stove, sleeping arrangements and we immediately began prepping dinner with cooking filet mignon over the open fire. I ran up to the check in area and wrangled some firewood for the evening in addition to what we scrounged around the camp area. Too busy dealing with the twins who were eager to inspect the public restrooms, which did not exist at the check in, I completely spaced reminding the camp head that we needed our heater for our tee pee which was provided as part of our package. Instead, I became distracted and attempting to distract S & S while waiting for the camp head by shopping the little general store area. Of which I found a cork screw for my bottle of chardonnay. Yes, I digressed, but sought relief in the impending alcohol indulgence. I also bought the firewood, wrangled gnomes, and immediately forgot the propane heater. BANNER!

By this time I had returned to our tee pee and was greeted by the hubs and half throwing the little people out of the car so they could scurry to the bathroom for the urgency to pee that didn’t exist, because they promptly returned to playing. Grrrr. His greeting was, “Forgot the heater huh? Isn’t that the reason you went up to the check in office?” Wanting to cry and kick his ass all at once for 1 – planning this God forsaken trip by myself with little input, 2 – doing ALL the packing for the trip within an hours time before loading humans into the car to depart, and 3 – for not making sure that the gnome sized humans stayed with him so I could focus on getting the goddamned heater. Sighs. After we went around about the cluster fuck situation I just had to deal with, he finally headed up to get the heater, and then returned empty handed. Great. I am sure this will be my fault. At this point I have pretty much said “fuck it” to the remainder of this trip, nothing else could be redeeming, and it pretty much wasn’t.

Freezing our asses off that night ,shortly after the front loaders and earth movers kicked off for the night, which was right around the ripe hour of 7pm we agreed we would not stay another night. The plan to camp in a tee pee was great in theory, but the cascade of events was not worth our trip continuing to take a shit.

The next morning we packed and headed off toVentura, where we stayed in the lovely Marriott Hotel. Which clearly was made for anorexic, petite people because they don’t believe in queen size beds. I won’t bore you further with these details, but the price was stupid for the discomfort, the only redeeming quality, COFFEE. IN. ROOM. Joy and rapture folks, Zip Line, ventura beach park, Ventura beachjoy.and.rapture. The day we arrived we spent basking in the sun on the beach. Which is exactly what we wanted to do, and did, and loved. The kids loved it. They even rode a zip line which is the other reason we chose the camp site we did, for the kids adventure activities. Which were nil and no longer offered during the “week.” LAME. Of course we did not find this out until the evening before checking out where the groundskeeper (who shared in our disdain for the construction on site at our campground) that the kids activities were only on the weekends. But the website said the activities are “always going on.” Details Karie…don’t get stuck on the details.

Our final day we trekked back to Palm Springs and the hell of the Days Inn, where check in is supposedly at 2pm…negative Goose. The check in is at 3pm and we were luck to get a room when we did, since housekeeping was still making rounds. But the next morning they were sure prompt to clean our room at 9am, I mean we didn’t even work up a morning deuce after breakfast before they were dressing the “linens” on the bed. Not to mention the “free continental breakfast” meant waiting in line at the diner on site to obtain coffee and a danish. Classy.

At last the trip came to an end and I could not have been more freaking grateful to be going HOME! That is when you know the vacation is over, when you are ready to be home, go home, and go back to work. Granted, I am excited our family was able to spend some quality time together, I just wish the trip hadn’t felt so royally fucked over. What did I learn for this vacation? Quit doing the cool shit. Talk to your friends. Get outside feedback. Just today I was told about Jalama Beach outside Santa Barbara, where you camp on the beach. We are there for the next trip. Just beach, just family. But overall the kids had fun, and that was ultimately what mattered is that they had a blast. Seeing the muster of peacocks in our campground, roasting marshmallows, playing on the beach and riding the zip line on the beach. Their enjoyment made the hellish event all worth it!

 

 

 

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TAG – Celebrate National Reading Month

Celebrate National Reading Month with TAG and Scholastic!

Use this $3 coupon at your favorite retail store to save on Tag books and start your child’s reading journey!  Visit the link to take advantage of the savings and promote early reading and education in your home.

Save $3 on your purchase of any TAG reading system for $34.99

(Offer good through March 31st, 2012 – Coupon expires June 30, 2012)

Recounting the numerous posts I have about reading would be boring, so let me just share again that reading is an intricate building block in any child and or adults growth and education. As an adult learner I cannot tell you how much I love to read. Even more so for children to put together words, to make sentences, to communicate effectively. My home is a HUGE proponent for early learning and education and when Leap Frog created the TAG reader my son immediately received one and as many books he could stomach. My twins even have the TAG Jr. to engage their young minds from the time they were 18months old.

More than 15 years ago LeapFrog began building its legacy: helping children learn to read. They do this by hiring professionals with design degrees to design new and
innovative products for children. So we’re celebrating this month with Tag, the #1 selling reading system.* It helps children learn to read and more by bringing words and pictures to life—that’s why 99% of teachers recommend Tag!** And the Tag library of 60+ interactive books, maps and more helps build the fundamentals for school success.

*U.S. Source: The NPD Group/Consumer Tracking Service: PS Electronic Learning, Electronic Reading, Toy Brands as defined by LeapFrog in Dollars, Annual 2010. Canada Source: The Nielsen Company, Market Track Closed Group, National Toy Market 2009 (52 weeks ending December 2010). **Based on 2010 survey conducted by LeapFrog of teachers participating in its Tag Kindergarten Program, who received Tag School Reading Systems from LeapFrog for use in their classrooms (LeapFrog & Scholastic Press, 2012)
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SPONSORED POST ON BEHALF OF TAG-LEAPFROG, I WAS COMPENSATED FOR MY TIME BY POSTING THIS INFORMATION AND IN NO WAY WERE MY PERSONAL VIEWS COMPROMISED OR ALTERED.
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Sea Life Aquarium Arizona

This past weekend my family and I were treated to a behind the scenes look at the newest sea member of the Sea Life Aquarium here in Arizona. The aquarium recently “adopted” a green sea turtle by the name of Ziva who was rescued in Florida. We were met by the bodacious and bubbly Kelly who is the marketing coordinator who graciously welcomed our extra stowaway for the trip, my father-in-law who is staying with us, and courteously whisked us into the children’s play area. Only moments later were we greeted yet again by a most upbeat member of the Sea Life staff who escorted us to our viewing room to learn about Ziva and her arrival to the aquarium.

We were split into groups as we were guided to the tank where we could look in on Ziva as she swam and swam around waiting to be released into her new habitat to swim free of human harm and predatory actions. You see the sea turtle is a often harmed by boats propeller’s, as is Ziva’s case, and fishing nets and lines. Additionally, littering of plastic grocery bags also mimic jellyfish which are a delicacy for sea turtles. The turtles will choke on the bags due to the floating, translucent bags appearing to be a jellyfish.

Once guided into the tank area we scaled the steps to the top of the tank on the catwalk and peered in to take a good look at Ziva. She is adorable! I wanted to touch her as her skin was very silky smooth looking and her poor shell had some extra “upgrades” to help her swim. Due to her incident with a boat, she experienced a collapsed lung which results in a bouie effect making swimming a daunting task for the little turtle. But she paddled around while everyone looked in on her.

Then the moment finally arrived after everyone received their turn to view the young sea turtle where she was set free into the giant tank to swim about with her fellow aquatic kin.

My kids had a blast, all the interactive games, displays for touch and feel, the learning kiosks, stations, and exhibits to stop and learn about all the fun aquatic life in the sea. My father in law also enjoyed himself, bless his heart for tagging along, we were highly informed by Dirk the aquatic curator who told us about sea turtles, how long they live and how big they get. Such a blast to learn about this amazing creature at the aquarium.

This is the second Sea Life Aquarium the kids have visited. In 2010 we visited the Carlsbad, CA aquarium location attached to Lego Land where the kids saw the sharks that they saw here in Tempe and they were able to touch real sea life such as sea sponges and sea stars to feel the different textures and appreciate all that the Sea Life Aquariums have to offer with sea life conservation and environmental awareness.

Have you visited either aquariums or a local aquarium in your area? What are your kids favorite animals when visiting local attractions and exhibits such as these?

 

 

 

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Healthy Eating with Happy Family Foods

Traditional stocking stuffers are sweet treats, but they do not promote any health and face it, they promote unhealthy habits and the “okay” from parents that treats like these are perfectly acceptable. While candy and sweets may be alright in moderation and once in an odd while, they are not a good influence for our children. So while compiling my gift guide and ideas for fabulous stocking stuffers and maintaining of the healthy organic lifestyle I have created for my children I found HAPPYFAMILY Foods which is a great line of snacks, bites, munchies, and drinks for babies, toddlers and the entire family.

About HAPPYFAMILY:

A few short years ago, HAPPYBABY was the first premium baby brand to enter the market in 5 small stores in New York City—at a time when there were no homestyle options for parents to feed their children. Processed foods or homemade baby food—which can be time consuming for busy families—were the only options. A lot has changed, and we are now the leading premium brand of baby and toddler meals in the U.S.—sold in over 13,000 stores with 9 different lines of optimally delicious organic foods for your growing family.

Our family added to our stockings this year the HAPPYSQUEEZE super fruit and super grains organic smoothie. Perfect for an in between meals snack, a morning pick me up, or just because. My family love these, not only because they are totally portable anywhere, even fitting right into the Santa Shoes as my kids call them, but they taste great, are great for you with the USDA certified organic, and they are affordable. Who says that eating right and healthy has to cost your kids and family a fortune.

HAPPYFAMILY foods has a variety of lines for all stages of your family with baby foods, toddler snacks and drinks, but HAPPYFAMILY also offers a line of books and DVD’s to enhance your healthy lifestyle in all aspects. Their products are available at local retailers and specialty stores like Whole Foods and Kroger brand stores. Try adding these snacks to your Santa Shoes this year and your kids might thank you.

“Disclosure: I was provided with samples of HAPPYFAMILY Squeeze at no cost in order to test the products’ abilities and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were not influenced by the company or the free product provided.”