My Conversation

The virtual diary. The Weblog of old and blog of new. A typepad diary to release inner demons, woe on politics, spew nonsense on the grandest scales, possibly invent a new comedy facet even Shakespeare could revel.

Diaries are not always meant to be read while others are published; some are for shock value, some are for reciprocal relations (not feeling alone in the world), and some are just written diarrhea that communicate nothing but allow us something else to stare aimlessly into a monitor.

While I am not “expert,” self-proclaimed “guru,” or self-proclaimed “top blogger” I do claim to be full of shit. Honestly. I have a lot of minutiae in my life that has molded me into the productive human being I am today. For example, I have been laboring in the employment arena for over 15 years. I am also an adult-child of an alcoholic. You want to know about alcoholism and how the “disease” (for lack of a better word) can destroy a family ask me so, I can tell you first hand. I can also share with you the art of being proactive, rather than reactive. Although sometimes reactions can be fun if you really want to spice up your dull suburban life. Other experiences include the loss of lives, lives I took part in creating but clearly an upperhand had other plans beyond my control. Experience life on drugs, the detox, share how even a prescription drug to keep you from feeling nuts can send you into a downward life spiral of dementia, then rising again anew.

Sometimes my blog makes sense. Sometimes my blog is a surprise of epic proportions where I can show the Skittle rainbow and then taketh away by showing you the dark depths of an inner child scorned by hurt and deception, smoke and mirrors. Sometimes I engage you in a comedic touch and others I attempt to engage you in a conversation and they aren’t always superficial or “socially acceptable.”  I also am in no way attempting to win any award, although I have some friends that I cherish who think I invented sliced bread and award me so, for them, I am full of heart, eternally grateful. (aka Ally,

Which brings me to a blog post I read today from a bloggy friend of mine who feels she is not of influence. What is influence really? Influence as I understand the meaning is that an action will have an effect. Sounds scientific…possibly not. I look at influence and the laws of cause and effect from a Buddhist standpoint.  For every cause there is an effect. Example: A lonely cow is in her field, she sees a herd pass, she joins the herd. The cause a herd passes your path, the effect, you become part of the cattle. (see where I am heading)

For example, the effect of turtling (hanging in one spot and one spot alone) where the flow of any traffic is impeded, the effect is that traffic will begin to gather around. That is not a gravitational pull, but your wide ass obstaining from moving, thus preventing in some cases bloggy constipation. However, if you act as a honey bee, visiting flower here and flower there, the results may not be immediate, but the effect is cross pollination, pollination period, the want of the flowers, for you the honey bee, to return each and every time. I felt my bloggy friend is very much the honey bee, while others are turtling excrements merely taking up space.She is the steady and constant bee on her pollination route, and one season soon, she will reap the rewards of all she has sown.

Blogs, emails, posts, Tweets, texts, and phone calls can all be a conversation. Short and sweet. Long and meaningful, or merely scripted fum is chum or is it Chum is Fum for the masses to gobble. (Yes that is a SpongeBob reference…..) Either way, the influence is the effect that is caused by what was said, how did you resonate in that individual (the cause), good or bad, he or she is clearly reaching for conversation, whether you choose to listen or answer proactively is up to you, because I see that both listening and proactive responses are participation in a conversation. You cannot converse if someone is not listening, and even when you think you are alone in your conversation, someone, just someone may be listening. Hold steady, hold true, and do not lose your love and feeling for your conversation. The cause of conversation is in effect influence.

Gifts for Kids: Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique

Karie Herring, thefivefish.com, Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique

Christmas has been so much fun for me last year and this year because of the twins. I was so blessed with one of each that now I have a mini-me to dress up, do her hair, we can do girlie things in a house full of boys. While on my quest to find the sweetest girl gifts and ideas I stumbled upon Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique and seriously if they are not the sweetest boutique ever!

Karie Herring, thefivefish.com, Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique Look at that cute outfit! I could not believe that is handmade. Yes, you heard me correctly. HANDMADE with love from one of the most talented women I have ever had the pleasure of speaking with via email. I actually ordered this dress for review sight unseen. You see a picture was not posted and if I did not just have the most awesome luck! Can you believe this dress? Honestly totally cute and great for all seasons. Do you see the cute bow (that I was so lucky that my Little Bitty did not yank out of her hair)? Yes the bow matches that adorable dress.

So the dress is a fabulous light corduroy feeling fabric. Most people cringe at corduroy, but I embrace it and just love the soft velvety feel and the rough texture. Kids are fabulous candidates for corduroy because it is so tough and rugged for their playing. The pattern is awesome with the bright colors and Sara was losing her mind when she saw the dress. She is such a girlie girl at heart, if it is pink…..she now has possession, so beware.

Sweetie Pies Kids is more than just girls clothes. Boys clothes are also available, as well as an assortment of adorable bows, tutu’s, monogrammed cups, frames, crayon rolls (which are great for travel!), and lots of totally cute baby gear like bibs, blankets, passy clips, they have it all. Of course, the best part is the handmade. I love to support mom and handmade so Sweetie Pies Kids is a no brainer.

Karie Herring, thefivefish.com, Sweetie Pies Kids BoutiqueWant to know where to find Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique clothes, well you can shop online with their fabulous site and if you happen to be a resident of North Carolina and in the area of Kernersville and Youngsville you can see all of their great products at Barabara’s Cottage in Youngsville and Emma Jane’s in Kernersville, but of course you can check out the Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique site for your one stop shop if you are not in the area.

If you have a boy or girl in your life this year that you want to buy them something completely unique and away from the ordinary that you find at your standard box stores or maybe you want to customer order…they take those too, well this is the place to read on, because the owner Kristen Holmes of Sweetie Pies Kids is offering The Five Fish readers a $20 gift certificate to her site to shop for some fabulous gift items this year. And if you are not a winner for this giveaway, that is still okay because if you mention that you saw Sweetie Pies Kids on my blog you get 10% off your purchase! How fabulous is that!

So you want to know the fabulous deets on how to win? Alright:

MANDATORY: Check out Sweetie Pies Kids and tell me who you would shop for and what you would want to buy for them.

EXTRA ENTRIES:

  • Go Join the Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique Facebook Page to get all your updates for the shop.
  • Stumble, Digg, or Delicious Sweetie Pies Kids and tell me you did (an entry for each)
  • Buy something with your 10% discount from Sweetie Pies Kids (for 5 extra entries, let me know your info so I can confirm)
  • Follow my blog and or tell me you do
  • Follow me on Twitter or tell me you do
  • Tweet this giveaway with daily RT’s “Sweet as pie with Sweetie Pies Kids & @KariewithaK (put the link to the giveaway here)”
  • Blog about this giveaway with 25-100 words linking back to The Five Fish & Sweetie Pies Kids (Worth 4 extra entries)
  • Enter one of the other giveaways for an extra entry (each giveaway is an extra entry here, 4 giveaways, 4 extra entries! WOO)
DOWNLOAD your Copy of the catalog HERE for FABULOUS products to be showcased here on the blog throughout the month including giveaways and HUGE money savings just in time for the holidays!
CONTEST ENDS NOVEMBER 18TH @ 11:59 AZ TIME
BEST OF LUCK!
 *Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency.

Shoes for Toddlers Pedoodles

Parents, grandparents, and the like always look at shoes as an item to buy for back to school or because a need exists. While my poor Seth (and his gigantic growing feet) needed shoes, they also make a great gift for the holidays. My kids are definitely MY kids when the topic of shoes is breached. Shoes means we are going somewhere….like Costco. Exciting for a toddler, really.

I have bought my kids shoes in the past from your standard places, Target, Wal-Mart, Payless Shoes, and each of these places has shoes with HARD rubber (or worse) soles. So your children really look like midgets trying to maneuver snow shoes on dry land. You know the walk right? Lifting and walking as if they have weights wrapped upon their feet. I found the wonderful company of Pedoodles and just had to see what they are all about. I also found them based on their Eco-Friendly compliant shoes. You know we at The Five Fish try to reduce our carbon footprint.

I perused the site, just adoring all the cute baby shoes, toddler shoes, leather, sandals, moccasin type shoes. I finally found the perfect pair, the Bumper Cars. I contacted them and they were so gracious to allow Seth-en-stein to test out a sample of their shoes and would you believe it that my 20 month old BOY, LOVES his shoes. I mean he really likes shoes period, but if you set all his shoes in front of him he truly picks his Pedoodles.

THE REASON WHY
The shoes move with his feet. He is not constricted or restrained by the chunky, unable to flex and move, hard construction of a standard shoe. I mean you might as well have put children in wooden shoes the way they walk in the hard, immobile soles and construction. He also has toe box room for his wide feet. Baby feet are not narrow and pretty, they are Hobbit feet, they have to be able to support their frames and give them balance, and the shoes have to allow for the support and the movement of the child. The shoes are super soft! Truly super soft! The leather is movable and pliable like leather clothing and not “shoes.”

I mentioned the Eco-Friendly shoes right?! Well these shoes are Constructed from “Eco-Friendly” premium leather remnants which are safety tested for children (Free of Lead, Antimony, Arsenic, Barium, Cadmium, Mercury, Selenium and harmful Amines.) [Pedoodles.com, 2009] Oh and those soles on the shoes? Fabulous as well, they look like little tire treads and you want to know why? The Soles are made with recycled materials to help reduce global waste. They’re also safety tested (Passes British Safety Standard BS 5665-3 and European Standard EN71-3). [Pedoodles.com, 2009]

But hey….do not just take my word for it. Enter to win a pair! That is right! Your crawler, walker, runner will be up and moving in a new pair or Pedoodles! Your first entry…..go head over to Pedoodles and come tell me how many pairs of Eco-Friendly shoes they offer! Be sure to leave your email addy or make your Blogger account available to see your email.

EXTRA ENTRIES

  • Follow my Blog (tell me you do or did)
  • Subscribe to my feed (at the top)
  • Follow me on Twitter (tell me you do or did)
  • Follow Pedoodles on Twitter
  • Tweet this giveaway “If babies were born w/shoes @Pedoodles would be it! Enter to win @KariewithaK (enter link here)”
  • Enter one of my other giveaways (worth as many entries as the giveaways you enter! i.e. if I have 3 giveaways, 3 entries! You see…)
  • Blog about this giveaway in 50-100 words with a track back to me and to Pedoodles.com (worth 3 entries)
  • Fan The Fish on Facebook
  • Technorati fave my blog (I have a new listing since I changed the URL)
  • Stumble Pedoodles.com
DOWNLOAD your Copy of the catalog HERE  to see what other great products will be featured with awesome money savings for the holidays and of course giveaways!
CONTEST ENDS NOVEMBER 13TH @ MIDNIGHT
BEST OF LUCK! 
 *Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency.

A Super Halloween

At times a mom can over think a situation. I was always told by my mother, buy the RIGHT size as some items run larger (like costumes) and some run smaller (wedding dresses).

So this year I was the ultimate mom with the goal to totally humilate her twins in true mom style with the sick humor that I have. Murphy and Karma stepped in. Foiled again.

The gnomes were suppose to dress up as just that! GNOMES! AWESOME! Garden gnomes. But alas, I think one garden gnome was called away for a Travelocity commercial. So the Little Bitty was left to tend to the garden by herself while I rushed as fast as I could to the store to exchange the too small gnome outfit for one that fit.

Foiled.
They were sold out. But we did make “Doo”  and the kids had a blast!
Lots of candy for mom and dad to eat.
Karie Herring, thefivefish.com, Halloween, costumes
Karie Herring, thefivefish.com, Halloween, costumes
Big G went as Obi Wan and he really looked like him….if only he wasn’t so cracked out on candy I could get a picture of him. He ended up having a sleep over at his friend’s house next door.
You can also see my kids are way too busy to sit still for pictures!

Cheerios Spoonful of Stories Prize Pack

Over the past eight years, Cheerios has given away more than 40 million children’s books by distributing them free inside cereal boxes and has donated $3.2 million to First Book, their non-profit partner, which provides books to children from low-income families. The program is part of Cheerios’ ongoing commitment to helping parents provide their children with a healthy, nutritional and educational foundation.

Beginning this month, Cheerios is again bringing books to the breakfast table, by providing six million children’s books free inside Cheerios boxes. The books are for children ages 3 to 8 years old, and include a brand new book in the popular “Trucktown” series, available only inside Cheerios boxes. And for the first time, all five books have been specially printed in both English and Spanish. This year’s book offerings from Cheerios – all by Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing – are:

Junkyard Fort
, written by Jon Scieszka, and illustrated by David Shannon, Loren Long and Dave Gordon: Join Gabriella, Jack, Melvin, Ted, Lucy and the other Trucktown characters as they make their own fort, using things found in the junkyard. Ages 4-8.

Tea for Ruby, written by The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, and illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser: Wherever Ruby goes, a bit of disaster seems to follow. But one sunny morning, things change when the postman brings Ruby an amazing invitation: would she like to have tea with the Queen? Ruby needs to polish her manners, and quickly. Ages 4-8.

Sleepyhead
, written by Karma Wilson and illustrated by John Segal: In this rhythmic bedtime story, a cat is the parent and a teddy bear is the child who doesn’t want to go to bed. All ready for bed with teeth brushed and story read, Sleepyhead teddy tries anything to prolong his bedtime; books and his quilt provide ample fodder for his imagination. Ages 3-7.

Ballyhoo Bay
, written by Judy Sierra and illustrated by Derek Anderson: Mira Bella, an artist who teaches painting and sculpture, loves Ballyhoo Bay and what it offers: sun, sea, sand, and sky. But one gray day a billboard arrives, announcing an impending development that would take all the fun out of the place. Read along to see if Mira Bella and her art can save the day and Ballyhoo Bay! Ages 4–8.

What’s Under the Bed?
, written and illustrated by Joe Fenton: Young Fred cannot stop worrying about the scary creature that might be hiding beneath his bed. Finally summoning the courage to peer under his bed, Fred, with his cumbersome glasses, sees that the only thing there is Ted, his friendly Teddy Bear! Ages 3–7.
[Courtesy of MyBlogSpark and Cheerios (a General Mills Brand)]

We here at The Five Fish LURVE Cheerios. My kids had Cheerios as their first finger foods, my son eats Cheerios for breakfast because of the low sugar content, and who doesn’t just love a handful as a snack on a road trip. In no way did this program affect us, other than the additional reading material we received as part of this wonderful promotion.

DH and I strive to read and sing to our kids all the time. We think reading helps to foster imagination, improve educational strengths, and reading is a fabulous hobby. I mean I blew through the Twilight series in like four days flat. Non stop reading. We want our children to enjoy reading as much as we do and we also encourage Big G to read as much as he can on his own. Especially since he is doing the Harcourt reading program at school!

The Spoonfuls of Stories books we think fit into his Harcourt reading program. The books are great short stories that engage a child and their imagination, not to mention the cool activities at the back of the books. Grant is a HUGE fan of reading on his own now and as a parent the most wonderful feeling is seeing the lights click and the bulb light up when your child begins to read on their own, without the phonetic and parental attempts and assistance. Truly an indescribable feeling. Since he is such a new reader he has lots of fun books to read from educational to story-time books, so no specific favorite just yet. My favorite books as a child were Ramona, The Box Car Children, Charlotte’s Web, and as I got older I became a fan of novels, poetry, prose, and comedies. (Yeah I am a bit of a literary snob at times)

So in an effort to promote a strong educational foundation with reading and healthy eating with Cheerios, The Five Fish are bringing you a Cheerios Spoonful of Stories Prize Pack which also includes a $25 Gift Card to Barnes and Noble!

PRIMARY ENTRY:  Tell me your reading story ritual with your children or maybe the importance of reading in your children’s lives or maybe tell me your favortite character from your favorite book (childhood or otherwise)
(Please make sure you have an email address or your Blogger account is public, I like Sherlock Holmes, but I don’t like to play detective.)


EXTRA ENTRIES:

  • Follow my blog (or tell me you do)
  • Follow me on Twitter (or come tell me you do)
  • Tweet this Giveaway “Promoting healthy habits and reading for life with @CheeriosBrand and @KariewithaK, Win a Cheerios Prize Pack http://tinyurl.com/yzy5n3h” (once per day)
  • Technorati fave this blog
  • Enter one of my other giveaways (3 extra entries)
  • Fan The Fish on Facebook
  • Blog about this giveaway (minimum of 100 words) (worth 5 entries)
 CONTEST ENDS NOVEMBER 8TH 2009@ MIDNIGHT
Best of luck to you all!
*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE! 

Five for Fighting AUTOGRAPHED CD Giveaway

If every album provides snapshots of where an artist’s mind at heart is at the moment, Slice, the latest offering from John Ondrasik (aka Five for Fighting), is a collection of digital jpegs and faded Polaroids. The album takes stories of friends, family and even American servicemen, and sets them to music shot through with the spirit of the great songs of his youth. It’s a diary, or a blog, in which Ondrasik speaks his mind about current issues, experiences and sentiments, while setting those thoughts to piano, bass and drums. [Source: One2OneNetwork]

If you loved Superman you will love this album (in my opinion of course). If you really liked 100 Years, you will REALLY like this album (again, in my opinion). Some albums are made where you like only a handful of songs, they resonate with you because of a time in your life, an event, some meaning is hidden in the words that shoots through your emotions. Five for Fighting has created an album (again in my opinion) that each song represents an event in our country, our lives, our emotions are touched. Some songs on the album make you want to get up and dance, cry, laugh at a memory, or just smirk. Here are the fabulous tracks to this new album:

1. Slice
2. Note To The Unknown Soldier
3. Tuesday
4. Chances
5. This Dance
6. Above The Timberline
7. Transfer
8. Hope
9. Story Of Your Life
10. Love Can’t Change The Weather
11. Augie Nieto

Now if you are like and love to catch music LIVE, RAW, IN CONCERT!!! Well here are the show dates for Five for Fighting, where you can catch them in a live performance with your favorite songs and the new releases off Slice.
24-Oct                          Washington, DC                                   Jammin Java
26-Oct                          Boston, MA                                         The Paradise
27-Oct                          Philadelphia, PA                                   World Café Live (downstairs)
29-Oct                          Nashville, TN                                       The Belcourt
30-Oct                          Chicago, IL                                           Lakeshore
3-Nov                           Salt Lake City, UT                                The State Room
5-Nov                           Seattle, WA                                          Crocodile
6-Nov                           Portland, OR                                       Aladdin Theater
10-Nov                         San Francisco, CA                              Swedish American Hall
11-Nov                         Los Angeles, CA                                 Largo at the Coronet


If you have caught a “slice” of the new album then here is your opportunity to win it and enjoy for yourself, and what is even better, this is a great collectors item with the AUTOGRAPHED CD and hey, maybe a great gift for someone else to enjoy too!

The skinny on entering to win a copy of Slice:

  • Leave me your EMAIL address with ALL entries if you do not have your email enabled on your Blogger account.
  • Tell me how music has been a “slice” in your life.

EXTRA ENTRIES:

  • Follow this blog (or tell me you already do)
  • Follow me on Twitter (or tell me you already do)
  • Tweet this: “Get your “Chances” for Five for Fighting: Slice autographed CD from @KariewithaK and @One2Onenetwork Plz RT”
  • Technorati fave this blog (or tell me you already have)
  • Fan the Fish on Facebook (or tell me you have)
  • Blog about this giveaway (no less than 100 words) and tell me you did with a link back (worth 3 extra entries be sure to comment for each)
  • Enter one of my other current giveaways and tell me you did (extra 5 entries, limited time only!)
  • Grab my Gift Guide button and blog (with link back) about how that starts Nov 1st with companies like Rubbermaid, Step2, Pedoodles, and MORE (extra 3 entries)
GOOD LUCK!!
CONTEST ENDS  NOVEMBER 4TH 2009
 *Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency.

(Album Slice was provided on behalf of One2OneNetwork for promotional purposes)

 

Gratitude

Have you met the people who blog? I haven’t. I have met them through their beautiful writings, tweets, Vlogs, emails, and IM’s. Through these people I have seen beauty and strength. I have to say that bloggers are some of the coolest people around. Pat yourselves on the back, cheer, hoorah, because really I know that I am in the presence of greatness with some of the coolest, most genuine people. I am also super dooper UBER thankful for all the kind words, thoughts, prayers, kudos, MoJo, etc for myself during this time and for my family.

Seriously….some of the nicest and greatest people ever! You folks are awesome!

Now as a token….who wants to take a day off and come guest post? I would love to have some guest posts!

When a parent leaves

My dear bloggy friend Melissa has this awesome little blog which landed her on a little show called Dr. Phil (well not EXACTLY like that, but thats not the point). She was called to be a part of the show because of her very STOUT opinion about motherhood and parenting. Her post and her position on the show resonated with me as a mother and with my inner child.

I am an abandoned child. No, my parents did not necessarily leave me at the firehouse to become a ward of the state. I was raised by both my parents until their divorce. My father moved out and then checked out, emotionally, physically, and mentally. His ties to his children were non-existent, if ever ties were present, hard to tell based on his actions. My mother, her sole focus was to be sure we were taken care of physically and basically. Food on the table, clothes on our back, roof over our heads. I do not blame my mother at all, she did what she had to do as a responsible parent and she went into survival mode. Nurture was not a priority when coming straight out of a nasty and bitter divorce. My mother did right with myself and my siblings, I commend her for all that she endured with raising three kids alone and the trying years we gave her. She could have made the choice to leave. To leave her three children in the care of a man who was not even half able to care for himself, who had (and still has) addiction issues, denial, emotional detachment, strong sense of egoism. While my father was not the fittest parent to care for children he mentally, physically, and emotionally made the decision to leave. Which in my opinion is more damaging than a parent leaving based on a divorce.

While watching the bits of the show I was angry that mothers, MOTHERS, do this to their own children. They make the decision to leave, possibly out of the whole feministic movement, who knows. What I do know is that everytime I leave my house without my children my uterus turns in knots. I know when my oldest does something he should not have before my husband even calls, I can tell when my twins have gotten hurt before I get a call, before I run to their aid I know exactly what is wrong. I feel like something is missing when they are not there. While I enjoy my personal time, I feel my sense of responsibility to them, ALL THE TIME.

I am not saying I am a perfect mother or a mother that has some tremendous bond. As a parent myself I have days, moments, hours where I want to escape. Escape the pressures of being a parent. But only for a moment, until I am brought to center. Where I have my three feet of personal space, to take some deep breaths, to have a moment of Zen. Then I can tackle yet again, this job, duty, the love of being a mother.

I watched as these mothers left. They felt no attachment. None. None to care for their children. To provide. To nurture. To build a protection and level of security that all children need no matter what their age. While my mother provided basics during and after the divorce was finalized she began to nurture again and still does. My mother is the sweetest most hearty woman I know. Her goodness is what makes me what I am today with the balance of my father and his not so stellar qualities. Which segues me back to my father and his detachment. When parents divorce and leave they make the physical decision to leave the shared home, stated fact. Okay, these two people clearly cannot be under the same roof. However, the decision to leave should not include the decision to check out emotionally.

I am tainted goods. I have an inner child with deep rooted damage of a father who left. A parent who abandoned not just because of the divorce, but because he chose NOT to care for his children. Father’s to some degree I can see how this is easy, to disconnect from children, they do not have the internal bonding that a mother shares with her child in utero. At times when I think of my pregnancies I can pin point each rib that each child dug a heel or elbow into. I still get a wince of pain. So I can see how fathers may checkout. But I cannot understand for the life of me why a mother would leave. HOW? How can she live with herself? Is she so delusional to think that she has no responsibility to that child? I commend Melissa for what she does.

She is a step-mother to her step-children that live with her and her husband (children’s father) FULL-TIME. You can read all about her story here. I connected with Melissa because when my father divorced my mother he was immediately “dating” his previous ex-wife. Yeah, my mom was #2. My father makes the wise decision then not even a year after they are separated to “date” and three months after the divorce is finalized in January of 1988, April 1988 my new half-brother is born. O.K.A.Y. But at least my less than acceptable father marries and impregnated (twice) a good woman. Yes in 1989 a half sister arrived. Nonetheless though, my step-mother was my surrogate mother every other weekend that we were in the drunken custody of my father. If not for this woman life would be unbearable, scary, and downright suicidal if not a complete free-for-all. My step-mother took myself and my two siblings in as her own. She loved us, fed us, clothed us even. She would take us on hikes, plan day trips, dance with us, color with us, teach us to cook. Sounds like any normal mom right? Except she did not bear us from her womb, she merely married my sperm donor, who divorced MY mother.

I truly understand and feel the pain of the loss of a parent. The disconnect. The abandonment. But I have to say I would be devastated, I would not be who I am today if I did not have my mother nor my step-mother. I have been blessed to have had TWO extremely beautiful, strong, loving women in my life who taught me love, respect, and beauty. They taught me that even when the going gets tough, you dig in, bear down, and fight. My mother fought for us in the divorce, she fought to not let my father make any attempts to rip us from her. So for those of you who have lost your mothers I am so sorry. I know your feelings, but cannot begin to feel your pain. Your pain is like no other than can be healed. The loss of a parent to death can be grieved through the stages of grief, but a parent and or mother especially lost out of her own self-decision is devastating. Mothers are the world. They don’t call everything her mother Earth for no reason, because a mother is our entire worlds.

For those mothers and fathers who have left I wish I could wrap my head around your reasoning, your disconnect, your emotional detachment, your failure to adhere to the unwritten laws of parenting. I do not judge, I just wish some of us could understand. Are your motives selfish? Are they the inability to cope? How can you abandon your child? YOUR CHILD?

Brandi Carlile: Give Up the Ghost Album Review

Fall has to be the best time of year! Tons of great media out at this time of year. Seriously, I will say it again, all the great TV shows are back on for fall, movies in time for Thanksgiving, and the music scene is EXPLODING!

Speaking of exploding, have you heard Brandi Carlile? I had not heard of her name to be quite honest, but her sound was familiar. The awesome folks at One2OneNetwork provided me with a download so that I could see hear for myself what Brandi is all about. And I tell you once I heard her music she reminded me of the young, breakout sounds of Sarah McLachlan. Brandi has such a fun, unique, soulful sound with emotional lyrics, she has her own style that is just absolutely contagious.Brandicarlile.com, One2onenetwork.com, thefivefish.com, Karie Herring

I love her songs “Looking Out” and “Dying Day.” I have them in my iPod when I go jogging every night because each has a great beat, a makes you want to move rhythm, not to mention the beats per minute are perfect for boosting your cardio! She also has some really great slow ballads that emote strong emotion, but I am a feeler, I feel my music. I don’t just listen to my music because music is life in our house.

Speaking of life and music, maybe you recognize Brandi’s sound? Any Grey’s Anatomy fans out there? (Waving hand WILDLY!!) Yes, Brandi has been a featured track artist for the show along with several commercials, so if you recognize her, your favorite fall show is where you have heard her wonderful music. But don’t take my word on how rocking this girl is with her funky country, rock, pop sound and her soulful, emotion filled music. Find out more about Brandi and her new album “Give Up the Ghost” in the Brandi Carlile newsletter.

Here is her current track list for “Give Up the Ghost”:
Looking Out
Dying Day
Pride And Joy
Dreams
That Year
Caroline
Before It Breaks
I Will
If There Was No You
Touching The Ground
Oh Dear

 *Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency.

Plays Well With Others: Kindergarten Lessons

Recently I have been the proud parent of a semi-defiant, attitude riddled, six year old boy who properly dropped the “F” bomb at school in proper context. His outed behavior, society, and a certain community are something of a lesson to be learned.

Lately I have seen buzz, tweets, blogs, posts, blah blah blah about drama drama drama. Here is my fishy take on drama based on the sayings from a wise man, “You are who you associate yourself with.”

Roger. Are you scratching your head? Let me say this, if you hang out with people who generate drama, incivility, rudeness, egoism, then you will attract the aforementioned. Maybe you are saying, but I still generate drama and I am “not even doing anything.” Again, possibly guilty by association.

My son, he was guilty by association. He associated himself with a behavioral heathen. The boy he was hanging out with had ZERO disciplinarian action at home, clearly. I am sure he is a good boy, but he lacks structure and he happened to rub off on my son who in turn morphed into a behavioral heathen for a few days.

I have seen grown adults act in this manner. Everyday. At work. The store. On the road. At my son’s school at the parent pick-up line, and lastly the internet. People acting like a bunch of ninnies! Why? Attention. Chaos. The flat out fact they cannot handle being bored maybe, I am sure they have their unknown reasons.

Karie Herring, Thefivefish.com

Additionally, I have seen grown adults name call like a bunch of kindergarteners. I mean seriously!? Nonetheless surprising though when a U.S. Senator goes to such great lengths to call the President of the United States a LIAR! I mean really, great, your opinion, not a fact, and truly what was accomplished by such an action. Nothing. The jackass senator had to issue an apology, he had to grovel, for acting like a putz.

Which segues into why do people call names? Why belittle? And then why claim to support empowerment, community, comraderie, only to turn around when the first person is negative and call them a name? Have you seen the name calling? Troll. Bitch. Idiot. Fraud. Liar. Carpet Bagger (which is my fave….I don’t think a lot of name calling ninnies understand the true meaning of this, brush up on US History would you). I am truly perplexed at the back stabbing capabilities and name calling of people. Actions such as these do not even render a school aged genre, but more of what is your point? What are you accomplishing?

My take….which take it or leave it, my feelings cannot be hurt…..my take on the situation of name callers, two faces, and hypocrites is that they do not know how to deal with people who:

  1. Have a difference of opinion. Without different opinions life would be dull. Colorless. Bland. My personal intellectual level would drop if I did not have people around me with various outlooks, opinions. Opinions and beliefs are the spice of life, what makes life interesting, note worthy, promotes enlightenment to those who wish to embrace enlightenment with an open mind.
  2. Harvest personal feelings of insecurity. People call names because all of the sudden they feel threatened. Hurt. Scared. They might feel less than, so rather than embracing, again, differences in other people, they call names almost like a  “fight or flight” mechanism. They belittle to the point where they themselves are reduced to an ethereal wisp of a soul and then they feel worse.
  3. Exude a greater amount of personal success on various levels. Name calling and attacks happen too out of jealousy. I personally, I do not envy nor do I get jealous over tiddly things. If I see something that is better, nicer, etc I work harder, smarter, I create a balance. I assess do I really want that and what that better something brings? What are the consequences if any? By embracing that someone has something better, commend them, ask them, “Hey that is awesome, how did you start to end where you are?” People with REAL success do not have to tote it around like a monkey on their back, they do not have to go to great lengths to say “Hey! Look at me! I am a success!” You know the ones, the douche-bag  type that goes and buys a Bentley when he says he cannot afford to pay the employees in his company. Even though they act like a douche, you don’t tell them, no reason, you get nowhere that way.

I think a lot of people were taught the correct thing to do in the face of adversity. He or she was taught to embrace, kill people with kindness and get other people talking. If someone comes and bags on what you say, my response would be:

“I appreciate your feedback, but I do not appreciate your insults. What is your take on the matter, I would really like to hear other’s opinions?”

This comment will generate a conversation and not an insult fest. If you reply like this:

“Ok Troll. Go FUCK yourself.” (Now I am going to go Google Earth your house based on your IP and post for everyone to see how stinking cool I am”

Really…not cool. Besides if someone comes back with their reply, listen, if you don’t agree. Say I really appreciate your feedback. People like to be validated. We all do. If our feelings and opinions are not validated then we also go on the attack. Children do it, adults do it. People have feelings and opinions and they should always be respected whether you agree or not. The spice of life, differences, beliefs, color, how boring life would be if those elements were missing.

So next time you run into a sticky situation of playing well with others consider what was said before, is there really any point to belittling and name calling? Be the bigger man, grow a pair and be kind (rewind…ha sorry!) and check out these great ideas from Robert Fulghum, who wrote the book “All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten.”