Family Recession

The news has sensationalized and down played the truth and reality that is the economic recession. Her effects, downfalls, triumphs, gripes, and how the recession has affected this family amongst the many that struggle each day to survive, maintain their home and not live on the streets, in their cars, or worse.

Our family became afflicted by the recession when DH was laid off shortly after the twins were born. Luckily he had another job lined up before the layoff, however, this was a large reduction in pay. While a job, the position was a struggle and a struggle for our family as we had to learn to scale back when our family was expanding as were our expenses.

But as we began to get traction again, we had yet another blow and The Chad was impacted yet again, and after a few months of struggling we began to find some solid ground. Yet, as with any restless waters, we began to feel our ship sink again when another blow came to us just a few short months ago.

The recession has been a learning experience and has been a tried and true gauge of my testament of love and marriage. Stress levels seek all new highs and lows during a financial crisis. Emotional levels are taxed to their very limits. Evil lurks in the depths of one’s mind and they begin to question their own faith in love and marriage, they doubt their partner and their position in the union, and eventually you feel like checking out. But the truth that has withstood the seams coming apart at their ends is love, truth, family. Without those I know our family would have not been able to weather this storm, on a couple of occasions.

I find solace in knowing I am not alone, but the evil comes in and I feel shame. Shameful for reasons I am not sure about. Maybe because I feel I cannot provide for my children the way I want to. Maybe because I feel I need to be more accomplished for my family. Maybe for the lack of adult time The Chad and I get to share with one another. So I wonder where will life go from here. I wonder how many share in my stress, my concern, who have been impacted, who have survived, and with my wonder I find solace once more. I am at peace to know I am not alone, but also fear no confirmation of having others share in my experience.

Pity too I have become a story I read when I underwrite a file at work, I share in these strangers stories of loss, heartache, stress, and fear. I can sympathize and empathize all at once and I cannot help but to ponder how many of my blog brethren share in my situation. How we hide something so common, but yet we feel so shameful and I think of how many have experienced the recession and lost something even greater than just a job and income. How has life changed for you if at all? What losses have you experienced?

8 Replies to “Family Recession”

  1. Hey lady –

    Great post, and so true. While not married and not having kids, I’ve definitely had my share of complications. The relationship I did have, albeit long distance – and honestly, probably wouldn’t have lasted – was cut off because he felt that two unstable people stood no chance even together. I’ve been unemployed now for 3 months, and still having to pay 3 student loans, a line of credit, a credit card, rent, and utilities every month. I am not joking when I say that I’m down to my last dollar after rent this month. I feel guilt for partially dragging my family down with me, since I can’t actually afford to pay my car payment my parents have been gracious enough to do so.

    Luckily, I have a job very close on the horizon and not a moment too soon. Although I don’t really care about money and things, its amazing how it indirectly (and very directly) effects everything in my life. I look forward to being able to actually go out for a beer with friends again and not have to feel guilty when they offer to pay, or just not go at all. These situations do teach us a great deal though, and I know that I’m definitely learning things about myself and becoming a stronger person because of it.

    1. Lauren, I am so glad you posted. Because even if you are or are not married you know that feeling. It’s like being alone with yourself and the internal struggle. Add on that the guilt that others want to help but you don’t know what help they can give. With that being said you also know that you don’t want and cannot take a handout. I hope things turn out for you…I know so many do. HUGS to you my long distance friend.

  2. i can totally sympathize, i cant even begin. I’d have to hijack your blog. on top of the money situation were expecting a baby, how the heck im gonna do my job with a baby????? no idea.

  3. Well now, I’ve been there done that and still recovering. My husband didn’t lose his job but to keep it hours were cut. I lost the small job I had and even as little as we thought we made we found other places to cut.

    It caused a lot of fights and for once we are in a “settled” time in our life. We exist. There are no extras and a few times groceries were so low I actually started to worry. Something that did finally bring us to terms with one another though was “Look, you’re not wrong and I’m not wrong on where to spend our money. The problem is it needs to go both places and cant” Then we started really thinking things through.

    Faith and love is what has gotten us through. The fact that our kids will say “mom we don’t need that” because they know our situation makes me sad at times. It also shows me what great kids we’re raising.

    1. Joie, it is amazing how many people do not talk about the subject because of shame. I am so saddened by this.

      But I think the strength our family builds and fosters by surviving through times such as these and not being ashamed for struggling like 75% of the rest of the world is perfectly fine by me. I would hate to lie to myself and the world about what we are going through.

  4. I havent been here forever Fish woman! I don’t bare my soul over the net, but, I will say so many out there have it worse. Volunteering at a food giveaway site, I see desperation- lots of it….

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