A few weeks ago I was approached about traveling for work. The news for me was elation, how could I not pass up the option to travel. Time away from home, flaunting my skills as an exceptional employee and my brains for business.
While floating in the clouds I had not yet grappled with the feelings that would soon flood over me while I was out of town.
Chosen as a SME, Subject Mattter Expert, to visit a sister site for training and implementation purposes I was on cloud nine. An ego lifter by all means in that management felt my work ethic and knowledge of the processes and procedures would be invaluable to others in the implementation process.
The Chad and I talked about the trip and we had initially anticipated travel for two weeks and home only on the weekends. However, the schedule was set so I would only be traveling one week. Great news for our family considering the twins have never been away from me for more than the work day.
Living almost purely on adrenaline during the first 24 hours of my travel I was halted on Monday evening and Tuesday morning with the overwhelming urge to return home.
The walls seemed to close in on me in the chokingly dull hotel room. Whilespacious, inviting and cozy, even equipped with a Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed at the Radisson, I still felt uneasy. Missing my family, hearing the sadness in my children’s voices when I spoke with them on the phone, and catching the appreciation in my husband’s voice when we exchanged our days events. The day in and day out of eating out while traveling for business, retiring to a lonely room, if you are not feeling uneasy my thought is that having a family is not for you, because I missed them all terribly. I missed the nightly chaos of the witching hour with dinner time and the laughs and giggles of three beautiful little faces. The morning rush and with Seth asking me and telling me all at the same time, “Sleep Good mama.” Grant hugging me and telling me he loves me and my baby girl rushing into me for a morning hug. Irreplaceable moments in life, no matter how small.
Even a trip to the Mall of America made me realize how much I missed my kids when I laid eyes on the Nickelodeon Universe as my first thoughts were “my kids would lose their silly minds at this!” Each store brought on thoughts of how I should get this or that for the kids.
Work time would blow by, the work day itself seemed to have never happened and at times while working as a SME I felt I did not have enough time in the day to spread the wealth of knowledge. But I know I would anticipate the end of the work day to rush at the free opportunity to talk to the loves of my life. I realized more and more how much I missed them, how much I appreciated them, how we all needed the break.
More so I realized that even when I was at work I thought about my kids, my husband, how I never stopped being a mom. I realized how over the last 10 years I have learned to juggle the fine art of woman, wife, employee, mother, and all the other jobs I have taken on. I also made one of the strongest comments to one of my co-workers while we were on site which is that no matter what job I may be working, my first and foremost job is always mom.
The job may not pay six figures and provide paid time off, no bonus or perks except in the form of watching the little people created. Their smiles, giggles, artful creations that resemble a form of abstract art at times; but the largest payoff is the hugs, kisses, love you’s that no employer can provide except in the job and working position as mom.