Lately an alarming incident has been taking place at Big G’s school. Not your typical playground Mom and Dad gossip of “Did you know that Jenny is sleeping with Dan while Mary is gone on business?” alarming business but that with our children.
Big G attends a very affluent school. The school is 20 years young in a largely middle to upper-middle class neighborhood. We had him transfered in and a boundary exception because the teachers are of a caliber I have not seen. The students are your typical suburbanites with their Hurley attire and boutique fashion, with the exception of some children who exhibit behavior unlike their outwardly appearances.
I am hoping you know of the children I am speaking. The ones who are the bully, the pusher, the one that makes you scratch your head wondering where the parent’s influence may be in the child. Well these children have been terrorizing my son as well as countless other children of KINDERGARTEN.
Image Courtesy of SafeNetworkYes folks, these children start early. Probably much earlier than kindergarten, however, since this is the first time they are released from the captivity of their own homes the behavior is probably assumed to be normal depending on the home life.
The children start small with pushing, maybe pulling on a backpack, scaling chain link fences as if in some training session, and then the behavior begins to escalate into full body pushing resulting in a child scrambling to catch their footing as the ground quickly approaches their backside. And then….the worst of all fears is when the full assault begins. I also do mean assault. I understand children will play and play fight, but when a child, A CHILD, comes at another child that resembles the actions of a full aggressive punch or attack more than just concern is raised about the children who are the victims and the children who are the attackers. This is what a scene looked like the other day when DH took Big G to school:
Now this would make me wonder how the HELL a five, maybe six, year old child knows how to throw a PERFECT right hook into another child’s face! The victim grabbed his nose and face as anyone would who was truly in pain. Tears and then crying. While the attacker stood there….watching as if he were an artist in awe of his work. Truly disgusting! DH ran in between the scuffle to break things up. Waited for the teachers to assemble and grab their students to hurry off to class. DH came home shortly after to explain to me the happenings and how this is the same child that was bullying our son. We talked and agreed that he should talk to the principal. Especially because this behavior should NOT be condoned nor ignored as “child’s play.” I also urged him to use our clout with the school, which was noted by the principal and makes for stronger ground when you as a parent are more than active in your child’s education and school functions.
The situation was addressed, our fears and concerns put to some ease. Until yesterday.
Yesterday when DH took Big G to school again the heathens were at it again. Only this time, LUDE! Not just mean, offensive, assaulting, the typical M.O. for these creatures, no, now as KINDERGARTENERS they have upgraded to lude behavior. These heathens happen to be siblings, twins to be exact, and one twin happened to decide to grab a classmate and HUMP….yes folks….HUMP her with growlings sounds. Need I say more. I heard this and as a MOTHER and a mother to a daughter I was BOILING! If my boys did such an act I would have them by their balls crying for mercy, begging and pleading like choir boys on Sunday for the all merciful to save them from the hell I would put them through.
So as a mother to a daughter I was even more irate. Who let’s their children act like this? Where did these children learn this behavior? Then the next question was….when will it stop? Will these actions only escalate until these boys are a menace to society? Leeches of our justice system? How the hell can these children go on like this and NO ONE other than the parents do anything to stop them?
Luckily other parents saw this behavior, saw the actions, saw the fighting.
Luckily they had the cajones to say something as well. To take the appropriate actions for these children to be wrangled, parented, taught the fine art of civility.
Now I ask you, how many of you have seen bullies? How many of you take action against bullies? Do you tell your children to ignore them? Walk away? Tell the teacher? How many of you have taken action against your children for being the bully? I truly want to know.
Seriously that is disgusting that the kids are behaving that way. As a mom with only daughters, if someone did that to one of them I would have serious issues…like put me at risk of going to jail issues. I only have one daughter in school right now and she hasnt had any problems with bullies so far. She is pretty sensitive and she always tells me if something is going on at school. A couple weeks ago there was a little girl that would tell my daughter that her food was disgusting every time she would try to eat and then called my daughter mean while on the play ground because she was swinging and a few of her friends asked my daughter if she wanted to go play on the slides and she said maybe later and the one little girl told my girls bff that she was mean for not wanting to play with them. She was pretty upset about it and in this instance I told her that for the food thing just ignore her because the girl is eating the exact same thing as my daughter anyway and she is just being ornery, but I said that if she is mean to you or calls you mean and hurts your feelings then it is ok to tell the teacher. Our school has a zero tolerance policy over being unkind and fighting will get you suspended.
Ok – no I haven't seen it myself. Luckily we've made it to second grade without the major incidents.
BUT – our school – chosen also for the caliber of teachers (but luckily its not in the burbs)- has a big time school bully policy. At the beginning of the year we sign a form that says we agree with the no bully tolerance, we've explained it to our kids, and we will not tolerate it from any kids even our own. Then yesterday the school counsler's newsletter contained two sections on bullying. One was how to tell if your child is being bullied and what to do about it, the other was how to tell if your child IS a bully and what to do about it. The newsletter was very good not to point fingers but to list ways to get your child help.
@Amanda, seriously what is with these kids. I am so glad to hear that you would do the same as me and run after a parent or child with the BOOK to handle the issue. I cannot for the life of me understand these issues.
@MamaOTwins, feel so lucky! I think we too have a strong no bully policy which we will be investigating, but I still think that sometimes the schools are a bit too bureaucratic, but we shall see how this goes. Sad we are only this far into the school year.
Bullying is such a real problem in any school. When I was a teacher, we would actually have professional development workshops on trying to prevent the bullying. We saw it happen most on the bus and the playgorund, where there is less adult presence and little structured time for the kids. As a parent in the district, I would demand that the school board does something about the situation because IT HAS GOT TO STOP.
Holy Crap Girl did you get my blood boiling when they were humping that girl. I would be so ticked if they did that to my daughter. If your hubby keeps seeing this I would keep telling the school. If it don't stop I would involve the police and who ever else. That is disgusting that little kids are doing that.
Dakota is getting bullied too. What makes me sad is that with the autism his mind isn't at an 8 year old level. I have heard one of the kids say to him that he is "uncool". They have pulled at his shirt and he has lashed back at punching them. He was pushed into an art table. I emailed the teacher and said look I will not tolerate any child physically or mentally abusing my child. She claims she didn't know about it and Dakota should come to her. Well he doesn't feel comfortable with his teacher yet so he isn't telling her. Duh that's part of the autism. I always told my kids not to provoke but if someone is punching them to fight back. I know that's not the answer or reaction I want but Dakota can't just walk away he doesn't know how. He doesn't know teasing and emotions. So when he said he punched them back. I thought to myself go Dakota!! I know it's wrong. Instead of letting him know I was proud of him for standing up for him self. I asked him if he told any teachers. He claims he did. It either stops or I will pull him out and send him somewhere else.
@ ThetaMom, Heather that is so good to hear from your teaching perspective. I know that the no bully policy is big but of course the bureaucracy. I know that my blood was pumping and ready to have heads rolling.
@a49erfangirl, Stacie I am feeling you sister! TOTALLY!! That angers me that kids would pick on Dakota?! Are they that insensitive and mind my French but just little effers to do such things? I know the humping got me PISSED!! I wanted to storm into the school and talk to the principal, especially since we are on a first name basis. I am with you on the punching back, not the answer but a child needs to find a defense mechanism when no one else is there to defend for them. I think the whole situation is total crap for kids and the bullying. I am so sorry that Dakota is going through this especially because of the autism his view is so much more obtuse than ours. I pray you find strength mama!!