Organic Pumpkin Pie Recipe

While these recipes may be a bit out of “season” now as we have moved past Thanksgiving and Christmas pumpkin pie is always a favorite, especially because it is so easy….when not from a can. Plus more likely the pumpkin pie is cheaper with a fresh pumpkin than one out of the can. Plus I shared I made a cake size Swiss roll, well here is that recipe. The Swiss roll may be a bit bitter as it is a Turkish chocolate style recipe, but still sweet and delish!

Pumpkin Pie

1 pumpkin
6 c. water for boiling

2 c. flour (for crust, obviously)
1/2 c. water (for crust)
1 c. shortening
Heat oven to 425*
1 3/4 c. mashed pumpkin
1 3/4 c. milk
2 large eggs
2/3 c. brown sugar
2 T. sugar
1 1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cloves (be sure to ONLY use a 1/4 tsp or your pie will be very SPICY and the cloves will be overbearing)

Gut the pumpkin and all seeds. Cut into two inch cubes leaving skin on the meat during boiling. The boil time for an average size to a small pumpkin is roughly 25-35 minutes. Remove from water and allow to cool somewhat before removing skin to avoid burning. Once all skin is removed, mash or puree until desired consistency. Allow the mashed pumpkin to be completely cool before adding to pie mixture.

While pumpkin is cooling, mix flour, water, shortening together until dough forms. Roll out on a lightly floured surface to 1/8 inch thickness. Add to pie pan and flute edges. Fluting can be done with fingers, fork, or a spoon.

Mix together sugar and eggs until a creamed consistency, adding in mashed pumpkin. Mix thoroughly slowly adding milk, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and the cloves. By following these steps your pie will have a smooth consistency allowing all the ingredients to blend well together. Cook for 45-55 minutes using a toothpick to determine if the center is done. The pie will have a rich golden hue as will the crust.



Swiss Cake Roll

Preheat oven to 400*
2 eggs (separate yolks from whites)
3 T. flour
1/4 c. sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 T. warm water (I used day old warm coffee, adds a bitterness and a wonderful rich sweet taste)
1 oz cube of melted Bakers Semi-Sweet baking chocolate (or 2T melted chocolate chips)
Filling:
1 c. heavy whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
1 T. confectioners sugar (or 1/4 c. sugar)
May add fresh fruit or flavor or your choice, almond, etc.

I also apologize for the poor picture quality….the cake was being eaten so fast to take when it was at it’s “prettiest.”

Beat together egg yolks and sugar until creamy, slowly adding the chocolate (be sure not too hot or will cook the eggs) and warm water. Then beat until foamy the egg whites, slowly adding in the flour, baking powder mix. Once the eggs and flour, baking powder are completely combined, slowly begin to add in the chocolate mixture. Once completely blended pour into waxed lined baking pan (13X9, buttered or greased then lined with wax paper or freezer paper for best results and lightly greased again). Bake for 12 minutes, remove immediately and place face down on freezer paper (or wax paper) dusted with powdered sugar. Place damp cloth on top to ease cooling time and allow cake to be easily rolled while warm, removing hard or rough edges, unroll after completely cooled and add cream filling.

Beat together sugar, vanilla, and heavy cream until a creamy, comes to a bit of a peak consistency. Do not over beat…filling will be ruined. Slowly spread along inside of cake, roll again and serve dusted with confectioners sugar or topped with drizzled chocolate or fresh fruit.

Enjoy!

Growing Up is Hard to Do

After posting my New Year’s montage the comments from you, my readers, triggered a whirlwind of thoughts. One comment specifically from my friend over @ A Nut In a Nutshell mentioned how I appeared to be a bit of a party girl.

I used to be.

I used to party every night I could from the time I had my own car in high school until….well I grew up. Until sometime in my 20s I found that partying and going to the bars and dealing with all that minutiae was just that. CRAP. A load of bullshit and really, what was the point? What point was there to hitting the bar and drinking until buzzed or partially intoxicated? Fun?! What was so fun about making an ass of oneself? What was so fun about chugging water and taking B12 the following day, possibly even a Bloody Mary for a taste of the hair of the dog that bit you.

But I got over it. I got over the need to sow any wild oats, I got tired of the wasteful spending on alcohol, the running amok and doing what I wanted got old. Real. Fast. Why? Because from 18-25 I got to be me. I had the opportunity to evaluate crucial moments in my life, I lived, I effed up, A LOT, I learned, I was me, for me, and only me. What people don’t realize is how much really truly happens in the pivotal age range of 18-25:

  • Graduate High school and move out
  • Go to College, live on your own, maybe with roommates
  • Work first REAL job, maybe while attending college
  • Meet life long friends, or continue friendships forged previous to high school
  • Graduate college
  • Obtain first REAL job with college credentials
  • Gain life experience
  • Possibly buy first car, open first credit card, maybe buy a house
  • Do the walk of shame (maybe more than once)
  • Get arrested
  • Avoid getting arrested
  • Get married
  • Figure out what you are going to do with your life (generally at age 20 this comes to mind)
  • Figure out what you are going to be when you grow up
  • Meet a future spouse, or get engaged

As you can see a general and brief smorgasbord of events happen from the time you age from 18-25. However, some people never experience these events and the reason why is their life choices which makes their growing up experience much more different. Because their experiences will vary so greatly, their experiences during the pivotal age range will shape their adulthood beyond age 25. Even one (possibly two) bad decisions will transform your life.

The Chad was a wise young man when he shared these facts with me. He was maybe, at best, cresting 25 himself when he shared the fact of growing up to me when I was barely cresting 20. By the time I was 20 I had done almost everything stated above….except get married, figure out what I want to be when I grow up, have kids, I mean I was still a kid myself.

During the time of 18-25 you figure yourself out as a person. A singular person. No longer are you a child in your parents home. No longer are you a student in an “elementary” school, requiring your attendance. You are an adult. A singular being deciphering the game of life, day by day, moment by moment. Curfew is something for kids who “live at home” or at best “Minors” for the sake of calling a legal adult an adult. More time is spent with your friends in a non-parental defying manner. Responsibility is learned, respect, self-respect, boundaries, self-awareness, quite literally you become a person you never thought you knew you could be, were or are. All the while the only responsibility you had…was to yourself. No one else, not to your parents, just yourself, and self-discipline was actualized.

But some do not evolve in this same manner. They missed the polar age range of evolution into albeit adulthood. Because once you crown your late 20s and truly are a “20 something” finally certain life aspects begin to click, the biological clock begins to tick for some, the desire to settle down, the want to be more in life, want more out of life, the realization of some form of deprivation exists in your life. Some desired affirmations:

I want to get married
I want to have children
I want to buy a house, a Lexus, furniture
I want to remodel
I want to be and do more

You begin to sound and act like your parents in a sense. The way they might have acted before having children. The standard progression into “adulthood” if I may. I look back at my pictures that The Chad and I took and we did A LOT. We traveled, we partied (a LOT because we had the means), we bought lots of luxury cars before I was even old enough to receive the late 20s auto insurance discount, I bought a house, got credit cards that were maxed and paid off a lot, and shortly before I turned 25 I realized I wanted more.

So in my time frame I did a lot, I learned A LOT, I cried a lot, cursed growing up, was frustrated, pissed, confused, lost and found, but most of all I had fun. I had fun figuring out what the hell I was doing, where I was going, who I wanted to be, what I wanted out of life. I realized what I was and was not ready for, what I could and could not handle, the events that needed time and the events that needed to be put on hold. More so, I saw those who missed out. People who missed the 18-25 bus and did not get the chance to fail and succeed, live and learn, be an individual without anyone or anything tying them down, they missed out on being an “adult” and figuring out how to grow up. I found that I truly grew up, that my late teens and my earliest 20s were for fun. My mid-20s I started to have everything click, my late 20s I truly settled down. I had a son by this time, we bought another house, celebrated some wedding anniversaries, fell down and picked ourselves back up again. I am lucky I had my late teens and early 20s to figure life out by myself, no tie downs, no responsibility except to myself, no boundaries except my own, just me, by myself.

Now moving well into my 30s I can look back and laugh. I can enjoy my life of what I did, some of the mistakes I made and definitely learned from, the choice to marry when I did, have kids when I did, to look at the life I was leading and the life I wanted to lead. I grew up. I am still growing up. But now I can admit I know a lot of nothing, where before I thought I knew everything. I can also look back and know I have NO REGRETS. If I regretted any decisions I made, didn’t make, should have made, I would not be where I am today. What were your choices? Where are you in your life? Are you still figuring life out?

Here is a beautifully written post by my friend Jenine. You know her as Badger Momma, absolutely breath taking the way 18-25 can shape your life in one way or another.

Priceless Gifts

Our family has a tradition of spending Christmas Eve with The Hudson side of my family (father’s side) while Christmas Day was generally reserved for my mother’s family. Especially since my parents divorced over 20 years ago Christmases continued on in this fashion, even after we grew up Christmases and the eve was spent much this way, however, with a few variations due to the fact I lived in another state and now had additional family to accommodate with being with The Chad.
This year was like any Christmas Eve, making the trek to the southern part of Arizona to spend Christmas Eve with my grandparent’s. But this year was ever so bittersweet and meant so much more since the passing of my grandfather in October. I still have a hard time with the fact he is gone…probably because he is not and never will be gone from my heart and the many memories I have of him and the holidays, weekends, and in between we shared together.
So upon leaving to make the drive south on I-10 I made sure to load up on wonderful goodies to share with my family. The Hudson’s have always been very near and dear to my heart, with all our trials and drama, we are nonetheless family. I bagged up my fresh black eyed peas (just need to be shucked) for my family to eat for New Year’s. If you didn’t know black eyed peas signify wealth (or coins actually) for a prosperous new year, I packaged up the ornaments Grant and I made, the baked goodies, the kids, a homemade DVD for my grandmother to enjoy, and this year I received a gift from the One2One Network which was a Tony Bennett holiday CD. While I love Tony Bennett I knew my grandmother would be even more appreciative, because she REALLY loves Tony Bennett and Christmas is her favorite holiday so these two were a winning combination for her. Thank you One2One for the gift I could share with my grandmother.
We loaded the kids and made the drive. Arriving with plenty of time to pour wine, snack on some goodies, share lots of laughs and hugs with family not seen except for (sometimes in our cases) funerals. Dinner was served, my grandmother’s traditional ham, broccoli salad, my aunt’s mustard mold (it was a beautiful mold of mustard), my other aunt’s FABULOUS potato salad, plenty of food, good family, laughs, and tears for the beautiful prayer my grandmother said in honor of the holiday and the angel missing at our table, my grandfather.
After dinner we finally got to the brass tax of things and started to open gifts. My uncle made a point to share how my grandfather was not fond of Christmas (I share his belief….as I said…he and I were of the same cloth in many ways) but he always busted his arse to make sure that enough money was made to pay for the joyous holiday, that all the kids, grand-kids, and now great-grand-kids had wonderful gifts to open. While he was absent for this year, and this year also brought many financial hardships to our family and others, the holiday was still joyous and ever special with the wonderful gifts to be opened and shared.
He could not have been more true with his words. These are the beautiful gifts received by The Chad and I from my family on Christmas Eve. Gifts to last my grandparent’s lifetime, my lifetime, and soon, the times of my children; gifts to never be replaced, exchanged, or packed away, but honored, cherished, and stories to be told of these gifts for a lifetime.
My grandmother’s Spode.
Some of these pieces are no longer available and as my grandmother shared in her card:
“Little of a little, to the girl who appreciates it all!”
My grandmother gifted me a few pieces of her Spode Christmas Tree collection to as she said “whet” my appetite for the ENTIRE collection that I will be receiving over the many years to come that she has left in this life and upon her passing I will be the recipient of the complete collection. YES. COMPLETE.
The worth is priceless in my opinion. So many Christmas holidays were spent eating and drinking with these pieces of fine china, stemware, flatware, and glassware, the wonderful memories.
All the serving pieces, china, table settings, and even pieces like the beautiful ornament that has a compartment to refill with wonderful scented potpourri.
A gift received by The Chad. My grandfather’s pocket watch.
I believe this has more strong sentimental value to me than to The Chad, though the gift did bring him to tears. My grandmother each gave a wrist watch to each of her son’s and grandson’s (my brother and half-brother) and finally an heirloom gift to “keep in the family” as she said in the card to The Chad.
A wonderful honor, priceless gift, and a beautiful memento of how truly special my grandfather and my family are to me, how special we are to them, and how special my husband is to my family.
A collage made by my Aunt Shawn, for me. I lost it. I could barely keep my composure and the only words I could get out were “You’re an asshole Shawn!” But she knew how much this means to me. How very special and cherished my family is to me, how my grandfather was like no other man in my life. The collage contains a picture of my great-grandparents (top right), my grandparents at their 50th wedding anniversary (top middle), my grandparents and their children, my aunts, uncles, father (top left), my grandfather’s memorial picture (bottom left), my grandfather’s senior picture…the handsome devil he is (bottom middle) and the picture to the bottom left is all of our family.
I was pregnant with Grant in this photo. All of my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces, EVERYONE is in that photo. Again, priceless. words could not and still cannot describe how wonderful a gift this was to receive. Even more priceless was the gift received by my aunts and uncles from my grandmother. Another honor that brought me to tears and one to be cherished by my family forever. I wrote a tribute to be shared at my grandfather’s memorial service, as did my aunt Doreen and my aunt Vicia.
Each of these tributes captured what is, was, and always will be the true essence and being of my grandfather in his life and in the next. These tributes were framed beautifully all next to one another and given as gifts to my aunts and uncles on behalf of my grandmother. A gift I was so honored to be a part of and had no idea. Here is the tribute I wrote that was the last to be shared at the memorial:

My grandfather was and still is the patriarch of the family. He is the rock, always steady and calm, weathering every storm. He was always the joker, trouble maker, story teller, shepherd of all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Watching as they all played happily, giggling, laughing, he would bask in their innocence and fun. Occasionally he would join in on the fun and games. If you ask any of his grandchildren they will tell you his was perfect, despite all of his imperfections, Grandpa could do anything. In fact many of us believed he roped and hung the moon.

I recall many holidays, family gatherings, and weekends that I would spend with Grandma and Grandpa; they are and will always be some of my fondest childhood memories. I spent a great deal of my childhood with them.

At one of their homes in Eloy, shortly after they got Brig I recall Grandpa showing us how Brig would nip at your heels. As a child this was greatly exciting and scary all the same, considering the size of Brig compared to our small childish frames. Grandpa showed us to shuffle our feet and get Brig riled up, tell us to run like hell for the stalls and jump onto the railing. He would belly laugh and cackle to watch myself and my siblings, Chris and Brittany, run as fast as we could, but his cackle grew increasingly strong as you heard the shriek of Grandma Tina yelling through the kitchen window, “Danny!!! You Stop that and tell those kids to get in this house right now!” He was so good at getting her just as riled up as the dog.

He would reach the back door after riding or being in the stall with Sonny and stamp his feet as dust came rising off his boots and jeans. You could hear her from the other room scolding him and he would giggle under his breath, as he took those boots off at the back door. Grandpa spent a lot of hours, which seemed like days to me, in those stalls. I felt like we would walk for miles with him, at the house off the highway where they lived, which was next to the stud farm. He would walk us around, talking about horses, telling us everything and how that equated to life. The man was so graceful, he was in his element around a horse, he is my cowboy and no other will ever measure up to my Grandpa. He was lean, strong, wiry, and gentle, he could be cruel and kind all at the same time, and he was like no other man I have ever met.

He could tell you all you ever wanted to know about horses. But he could also take you on his lap, sit you there for hours and tell you about horses and cars, baseball, basketball, men and women, love and life, and he always had room to talk about business, he was savvy in business. Grandpa had a story, a lesson, a passion, and an unyielding love for horses, cars, sports and life; he told me “If you don’t love what you do, then you need to do something else, love what you do, find your niche. Life is not worth living if you don’t love it, love what you do, and don’t let anyone tell you how to do it.” Grandpa had a way of always doing things his way, they made sense, they were fun, and he showed that life was to be lived for every moment, no matter how big or small, good or bad, everything had a reason.

I will always remember the way Grandpa smelled. My family has a thing with smells, I think I get that from Grandma because her house always smelled like the freshest florist or the warmest bakery, it was heaven. But I remember the rough, calloused, and gentle smell of his hands, the hint of warm, earthy, dust from his morning ride, the remnant smell of a vanilla tobacco pipe, leather from his boots, chaps, and saddle, the sweat off his Stetson, the cotton from his shirt and jeans, and the air of his cologne. Each and every time I hugged him I could smell those smells, I can still smell him to this day. I know when I recall the smell I was at home, he was home.

My relationship with my grandpa cannot be expressed, the words will not come. A dear friend of mine (who recently lost her grandfather) told me that the love and relationship between a grandfather and his eldest grandchild and granddaughter is “magical.” He truly was magical, his life, the experiences we shared, and the memories I hold dear, will always be magical.

I love you forever and always, Kare babe.

Those are the gifts that holidays and moments are made of, not the fancy electronics, the Lexus with the big red bow, the diamond pendant, none of those matter…the simple gifts of love, the time and thought are what make gifts at the holidays priceless.
What were and or are your priceless gifts? Gifts your children handmade at school or with your spouse? Maybe your parents still have gifts you made as a child? Maybe even the simple gift of conception, family love.

New Years of Old

A little montage to show you how, many a New Years have been celebrated by The Chad and I…and then with the kids.
Enjoy!
My first New Years as an adult….in a bar….still underage….and over drinking! Cantcha tell?
Looks like The Chad and his best friend have the same problem….over drinking…ha ha!
Yes the same night….same place…we were playing 3-man with some very good friends. The year we spent New Years in Temecula.
The year WE hosted New Years….and lets say that the clean up is NASTAY when you are hungover!
The year we spent New Years with my brother and sister-in-law….yes that is The Chad….kissing my sister-in-law it’s a thing he does…..good times!
Now that is true family….a couple of drunks playing chess….yes….I am drunk with my brother…who was also drunk….playing chess. We rock!
The year we decided to start remodeling the house….at New Years….with Grant….look how little he is! Probably about the twins’ age…craziness
That is a fun New Years….water guns!
At least Mom and Dad made it to the ball drop!
Happy New Years, be safe everyone!
See you all next year.

Holiday Traditions

I tweeted and updated my Facebook status on how fabulous this holiday season would be, even after a tumultuous Thanksgiving I knew Christmas would completely drown everything that happened.

For the week leading up to Christmas Big G and I were on a Betty Crocker roll. I think I was channeling her or Martha Stewart for that matter with how many crafts and baking we accomplished together. We started by making these absolutely easy and aromatic Christmas ornaments courtesy of my friend Casey over at Extraordinary Mothers. Look at these beauties, I was so proud of my baby for sticking with the project.

We used some super simple ribbon too. Just a bit of wired ribbon and decorative craft rope and we have insta- ornaments that not only look fantastic and can be dressed up but smell absolutely intoxicating!

Next we did some rolled and cut Gingerbread Man cookies that were just the most tender, sweet, soft delicious cookies you could ever have. We did THREE dozen of those cookies. Look at the boy go! I was so proud he had so much fun…and we chowed on some dough! What good are cookies without cookie dough to nibble on.

So we moved onto more fun cookies and we did some really fun sugar cookies. I decided to use my new Wilton’s Cookie Press that I won from my friend Sandra over at Adventures In Mommyland (you should read…this woman has amazing strength!) and we did fabulous Christmas tree press cookies and some “star” shapes that actually looked more like flowers and we decorated as such.

Finally I made THREE, yes THREE homemade, from scratch, did not buy the shit in a pan from the store, PIES. I know I am a culinary snob…I truly enjoy the insult of being a snob, I pride myself in this delight. I have skills and I am proud to flaunt! HA HA HA. Okay, so enough of me, here is my prize winning pie…well actually it was eaten too fast before I could take a beauty shot, but I do have the original specimen, and I will be posting the recipe for Morsel Monday next week since I have failed to play along with consistent blogging this week. A-Okay by me, enjoying the relaxing time the no pressure of posting. But here is the specimen that I speak of…yes…that is a Pumpkin. An albino (white) pumpkin and what the insides look like after being cooked/mashed. Pretty right? Just imagine the taste. OH EM GEE!

The three wise pies were my infamous and prized beauties that each of my Grandmother’s raved over (yes both Grandmothers asked for the recipe….the women with phenomenal, mad cooking abilities wanted MY recipe!), my aunt’s who both have an insane level of gift in the culinary arts wanted the recipe, and of course my mother…who legitimized my claim of THE PERFECT child cook said my pie was better than the other pie she had that day…or any other day or holiday for that matter. Well of course…mine was made with love…not from an assembly line and stamped with the brand of “Marie Callendar’s.” kthxbai

I then worked on my Turkish chocolate cake. This cake was like no other though, more of a Swiss Roll with wonderful whipped cream inside…again, another recipe I will be sure to post. Super easy, super delish and very decadent. A true dessert cake and delicacy. However, one cake did not roll, so it was a layer cake of sorts, the other did roll, beautifully so I hauled that with us, along with the pecan pie, oh and the divinity. Yes, I made divinity. Which is a true feat to successfully create this confection in winter due to the weather and often cloudy days. You cannot make divinity on a cloudy day…same with fudge…the consistency just isn’t right. But I hauled all these goodies to my Grandmother’s house in Casa Grande for my 31st Christmas Eve celebration with her, with my Grandfather’s passing which was ever so bittersweet a celebration of family nonetheless, my aunt’s who had I many a laughs with, and my uncle who I joined in sarcastic witty banter as we jabbed others and one another.

Needless to say while the gifts were not overly plentiful as some may expect, the love of family, being together, having fun, and the creations of love and joy were shared abound. Those gifts are the gifts that carry no price, can never be replaced, and are felt year round and are remembered for a lifetime.

What were your holiday traditions? Family traditions? Baking fun? Any childhood memories you had that carry on with your present family? Children?

The Joy of Family

I have been blessed with a very mellow dramatic, albeit over exaggerating, PPM (poor pity me), GOOD GAWD WTF type of family. I did not choose them. In fact, I chose my family in the eighth grade, Angela Lansbury I believe was my grandmother of depiction. I would need to search out that childhood project for excellent blog fodder. Regardless, my family is highly entertaining.

The theatrics is so thick one would have to wear a parka, rain boots, goggles and maybe a helmet to avoid the depth of shit that oozes from my family. Truly a made for TV, Lifetime mini drama.

Ttoday when I finally have begun my recuperating from the holiday I receive this email…which really doesn’t set off any emotion, just highly irritating to have my precious web invaded by such a load of horse shit:

It is my humble opinion, that once a human being with even the average level in intelligence upon viewing this, does not realize how petty their resentments, attitudes, greed,pride, avarice,greivances or grudges,self importance,anger,hatred,the denying of relationships of loved ones from loved ones out of some misguided ideation of superior morality or emotional maturity, does not realize how truly unimportant , in the grand scheme of God’s directives and teachings are in comparison has no soul and has not nor will not have a life worth living.

Now that “humble opinion” is that of my overly arrogant, clueless, alcoholic, overly medicated, sperm donating, excuse for a father. Sad really. I laughed and shook my head. The email was about the cosmos and relation to size, not sweating the small stuff, yadda, yadda, yadda. Whatevs. I generally read, say to myself “Cool” take the message and move on. But that first bit of hogwash had me saying “Oh please let the level of chaos and mellow drama stop….PUH LEASE!”

My “father” if you can refer to him as such, I generally call him by his first name so for the sake of privacy I will call him PITA; PITA seems to think I harbor some sort of anger, hate, grudge, whatever the eff the man believes based on his delusions of grandeur brought on by almost 40 years of substance abuse. Seriously, he thinks I must have LOADS of energy and feeling to be wasted on pointless, energy consuming, time wasting feelings of hate, anger, and grudge. Really, those feelings would require me to have a feeling or a care or want. Of which I am void.

Why?

Because why waste and let the little things like my PITA’s transference get in the way of my life, why let him get to me because he carries these feelings himself about the pure fact he was an empty excuse for a parent.

He was a worthless excuse for a spouse….to all of his wives. Oh wait…ah yes, I forgot…it’s a conspiracy, they (the former wives…including my mother) were all out to get him. To dump on him…the alcoholic, the drug addict, the PPM syndrome. I see this a lot in my family by more than just PITA, as if everyone else looks to dump on them. OY!

I guess what I am just up in arms at myself about was the fact that I even submitted any energy to the PITA on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. WHAT.A. JOKE. I made the mistake of showing gratitude, an attitude I carry with everything in life. Yes, I am quite thankful for bad happenings too…they do have a reason. Nothing in life happens by coincidence. So yes, I was thankful for the gifts The Chad and I received from PITA and the gifts received by my children, of which 2/3rds of the gifts will probably never be used because PITA has never taken the time to get to know ME as a daughter, let alone my children. Nope. PITA told me in a text (which I love writing for this fact…the statement cannot be claimed as conjecture. Seriously people if you don’t want people to second guess you, never put your crap in writing.) Oh yes, the text:

Just so the kids know that they have a Grandpa “PITA” that love’s them & they remember if only vaguely.

Here is my deal….this almost infuriated me…more or less was annoying at the sheer ignorance, and the fact the moron took so much time to type something that clearly states his own narcissism. My kids have no idea about their Grandpa PITA. Why? He’s toxic, so I do not allow him in my life. If I do, I am ALWAYS burned, so after 31 years I finally put my foot down. Seriously, when I get an over dramatic call that I, yes ME, am to bail HIM out of jail. Uh, negative ghost rider the pattern is full….full of your shit…and you are NOT my responsibility. The call was over excited, like a teen who was just busted and wanted Mom and Dad to bail them out of the shit hole they dug themselves into. No thanks. A reason why I DO NOT associate with him. But of course I get the attitude of disdain and “I can’t believe you are doing this to me” when I say…NO and I have children, you are not one of them.

I think I heard a hallelujah.

Anyway, PITA seems more interested that my children know of HIS existence than he does of theirs; and he wonder’s why I have nothing to do with him. Oh, maybe because you did the same thing to me as a child resulting in adult issues that I had to seek therapy and healing for. ALRIGHTY THEN! So I am glad to say I love the power of IGNORE, BLOCK, JUNK MAIL, Remove Sender and all the electronic powers that be, so that I never have to see another annoying email, text, or even paper letter again. Thank you USPS for the “Return to Sender” option within the postal service.

All I can do is pray that one day, if that SHOULD ever happen (highly doubtful), he will see the importance in knowing OTHER people and not that they always know YOU! Especially when they are family. Do you have any family members like that? They thrive on self-loathing, pity, and transference? The misery loves company syndrome as well? How do you deal with toxic family?

The Problem with Politics, Religion, and Vacuum Cleaners

Sounds odd right? The politics, religion, and vacuum cleaners combination. Really though have you met anyone that refuses to back down on their personal opinion of their political stance, their staunch religious beliefs, and the fact they have the best damned vacuum cleaner ever?

I thought so.

No, each of these believes that their way is the best. The sect of religion is THE sacred path to redemption, their party is the GOP (Grand O’l Party) and again THE party. Or maybe that the Dyson they own is truly THE BEST sucker out there. Moving on.

A few weeks back I attended a workshop for stampers, they are quite literally more fanatical about stamps than scrapbook creators are about widgets and paper. The workshop was rather enjoyable especially since my Grant baby was enthralled in the Holly and Hal Moose video from Build-A-Bear and he has his own crafty projects to make.

Time passed and the small group of women tediously worked on their projects, perfecting and adding the minute details of their cookie cutter, quite literally Xerox copies of each others project, cards. Niceties were exchanged, gabbing commenced, and then the ultimate blow of offenses.

“You know it is not a ‘Holiday Tree’ this is America, it is called a ‘Christmas Tree’ so let’s just call it that and move on and quit trying to be friends with these crazy Muslims and what not…”

Now I am not, by any means, an easily offended person. But that comment, spewed from the mouth of an older, white, staunch conservative, no more than a high school education, WOMAN, pissed me the hell off. Why? Why was I so clearly irked by her lack of cultural sensitivity, her blissful ignorance, her sheer disregard for her new audience? Hmm, one could wonder why right?

Not I. I had no care to wonder, because this woman who was hosting me in her home had no idea whether my messiah was derived from the over translated New Testament, the Book of Moses, or if my messiah might possibly be Muhammad himself, or better yet a higher language of thought and enlightenment through Buddhism or hell maybe I was Satan reincarnate through Hinduism in the form of a hot blond. Do you see my level here? No? Here is the deal.

You can be Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, an Atheist, a Pagan, a Hindu, or Buddhist, but do NOT assume that because we live in what I feel is a large melting pot of cultural  beliefs and racial assimilates that I too am as ignorant and a staunch conservative, WHITE, pseudo-Republican, and Christ belief bearing as you. I truly do not mind that so many people have so many beliefs, I rather find the various beliefs of great interest to me, I question everything because I wish to learn more, not find the one divine path to redemption. I find redemption within my own self, not from some righteous ass who tells me I need to find redemption by giving to their authority in the form of cash and guilty Sabbath visits or confessionals.

I will admit, I am Caucasian, I am a registered card bearing member of the Republican Party, I am also a gun owner, a baptized Baptist whom has been non-practicing for over 20 years, I am Pro Choice (GASP!), and I like many other morons voted for Bush…TWICE, but I also voted for Barrack Obama. I believe in Mother Earth, a higher power of sorts, reincarnation, an afterlife, I believe in free will, choices, the ultimate separation of Church and State because I believe homosexuals should be granted the same unhappiness of marriage like us heterosexual folks. Seriously, why should we be damned granted blissful marriage and divorce only? Makes sense right?

But I do not go about assuming that each and every person I come into contact with is of the same beliefs. I do not push my beliefs like a hustler. I embrace the diversity. I embrace my often mis-informed Republican kin, my zealous Democratic kin (who quite possibly are lost in translation….much like my Republican brethren), I embrace the word of the Torah, the Quran, canon (most likely Tibetan by all intents and purposes), the Book of Mormon, I embrace these as the words of good living, a form of ethics and a higher ascension, not for redemption and “I’m better than you because I believe in Christ” or “You’re going to hell”  (because I don’t believe the way you do). I also do not swallow all these words, but they are chew worthy and food for thought.

Really we spend so much time convincing others of our beliefs that one has to wonder their own religion if they are too busy selling the water. So I will drink the tap and thank you kindly for the hospitality, appreciate your strong beliefs and go on with my merry sinful living to your devout singular beliefs. Because I surely did not just tell you that you HAD to vote for Barrack Obama because we needed change in this country, I did not tell you that you must pray five times a day, barefoot, facing East in order to find divinity in your life, and I surely did not just force my Kenmore Progressive Upright in your face because it IS the best vacuum….Consumer Reports even called it a best buy! Embrace diversity and show a bit of consideration to your audience.

Pizza for You and Pizza for Me: zpizza

Who in the world does not enjoy a good slice of pie? I for one thoroughly enjoy a good piece (or two) of a pizza pie from a great pizza joint. Especially this year! Why this year?

I have hosted THREE, yes, I said THREE major holidays this year of which two are the biggest, Thanksgiving and Christmas. For each one, I fail to cook the night before because let’s face the facts; who wants to cook a dinner when the next day you spend the ENTIRE day cooking dinner for an army. Plus the baking, the cleaning, the humanity!

Pizza is a big fave in The Fish home and we also enjoy a good bout of organic goodies, I try to shop and buy as much as I possibly can because of all the benefits of going organic which you can read about here. Imagine my surprise when I heard of a pizza joint that has certified organic ingredients I was in heaven!

Seriously though even The Chad thought oxymoron, “Pizza” and “Organic” together? Not possible. Possible.

Well, until he tried zpizza with me and the kids.

Now zpizza is not just about pizza, but salads, sandwiches, and more. zpizza offers a healthy and lighter alternative to some of your favorite foods. The ingredients are some of the finest, exotic, and freshest. 100% certified organic tomato sauce and flour coupled with MSG-free pepperoni for a truly amazing dining experience.

The Fish family received certificates to enjoy a pizza (or other dining options) from zpizza in the last week and I tell you what, seriously some of the most filling, flavorful, tasty, mouth watering, no other pizza can whet your appetite like zpizza. No lie, hands down, some of the best pizza and not because we received certificates to try out the pizza on behalf of zpizza.

I have had a sampling of zpizza before but not like this night, it was HOT, fresh, and OH. SO. GOOD! We ordered locally here in Arizona at the Midtown Phoenix location of 53 W. Thomas Road. I love midtown, downtown Phoenix, lots of up and coming businesses, a very hip and modern area revived in the midtown, downtown area.

The hubs was raving, the kids were cheering, well they weren’t really because they were too busy scarfing down the pizza but you catch my drift. We ordered the American, a wonderful blend of fresh veggies, meat, comparable to a “Supreme” at other pizza places but this one is FULL flavor.

The crust was more of a light bread of sorts, not doughy, not too thick, not too crunchy, the true essence of a brick oven pizza if you have ever had brick oven pizza. The cheese was mild, not salty like traditional pizzas, the sauce was light and enough to add flavor to the pizza without taking over the pie and not dripping off the slices. The toppings. OH, the toppings were out of this world! Fresh! Cooked even, and still fresh. Large helpings of toppings that were full of taste, crispness, and color. If you recall “traditional” pizza the toppings are meek, pitiful, lack in color and taste and most often are soggy from the loads of grease. These toppings literally POPPED from our pie.

Big G wasn’t too hip on the toppings so The Chad and I gladly ate his veggie toppings, savoring, every. Last. Bite. Now “traditional” pizzas leave you full and dissatisfied with yourself, like a glutton, pure swine after you eat it, and even after we had our slices, we were pleasantly full. Not overstuffed like a turkey at holiday or the need to slip into sweat pants, but satisfied on more than several levels.

So does this pizza option sound tempting enough for you?
Is your mouth watering for this tasty delicacy so aptly misnamed as “pizza?”

GOOD! Here is how you can win a $20 certificate to zpizza and avoid cooking for one night!

Mandatory entry: Tell me where the nearest zpizza is to your home and which creation (pizza or otherwise) you would order in your home to chow on?

Extra entries:

  • Follow zpizza on Twitter and get all the “dish”
  • Follow my blog
  • Follow me on Twitter
  • Tweet this giveaway (daily RT’s available): Enter this giveaway for $20 GC for @zpizza with @KariewithaK Ends Jan 5 http://tiny.cc/l1bE3
  • Blog this giveaway
  • Leave a substantial comment on a non-giveaway post (can’t just say Oh Hey saying HI, share the love for Pete’s sake) Worth 5 entries
  • Fan The Fish on Facebook
  • Enter one of my other giveaways and tell me you did (worth 1 entry per giveaway entry, this could be significant depending on the number of current giveaways)
CONTEST ENDS JANUARY  5th 2010
@ 11:59PM ARIZONA TIME
Best of Luck!!

Going Green Into the New Year ecostore Giveaway

Finding a way to clean your home in an eco-friendly manner is tough considering the marketplace is FILLED with chemically laden and enhanced products. Ammonia based, alcohol based, harsh chemicals that linger and fumigate your home. I have two toddlers and my six year old and believe me, nothing I do not like more than to have harsh, dangerous chemicals in my home and around my children.

My cleaning is pretty unorthodox. I use cans of Coca-Cola to clean my toilet bowls (yes, just the way it eats at the porcelain at your teeth, it can acid wash your NASTY toilet too) so they are sparkling white, hot salt water and half lemons to clean my cutting boards, and cream of tartar to degrease. Need a bleaching? Lemon juice and the sun. What? You thought that combo was only for the nasty blond dye jobs? Think again.

I was asked by ecostore USA to review a few of the products in their line. I received Front Loader Laundry Powder and the Citrus Spray Cleaner to try in my home (in exchange for this review…*Hi FTC).

A bit of back information on ecostore USA:

Founded by Melanie and Malcolm Rands of New Zealand. The eco couple in their eco-village “shared a commitment to organic growing and healthy living, making this an ideal environment in which a young, environmentally conscious business could thrive. Each household in the village was responsible for their own waste water, which quickly highlighted the problems caused by using regular supermarket cleaning products that relied heavily on cheap, petroleum-based, synthetic ingredients” (ecostoreusa.com, 2009).

15 years later their idea to better the world with better and eco-friendly products now have them exporting into the United Kingdom, the USA, and Australia. How are the products better? How are they more eco-friendly? Well because the products are all plant based. Citrus, coconuts, palms, essential oils for fragrance, and minerals (like salt). The ingredients are not based on the creation in a “lab” but derived from nature

The Front Loader Laundry Powder:
I was highly skeptical of this product. The scooper was small, and when you have been accustomed to commercial laundry soap for many years the change is drastic. I was even leery of the scent, however, after my first few loads I was impressed. I was truly blown away, I know by soap? But seriously if you have a front loader you know the “funk” you can get from time to time. I actually lost an trace of “funk” in my Frigidaire front loader when using this product. I even enjoyed the clean scent where the clothes actually smelled clean and not perfumy clean.

The Citrus Spray Cleaner:
The cleaner was effective. I used it everywhere around my house; bathrooms, kitchen, dining table, high chairs, anywhere that was goopy, nasty, and needed a good thorough cleansing. However, I was not thrilled with the scent. The scent was rough, harsh, even though vegan, the scent did emit a harsh chemical smell and air to it and I had to be sure to use it in open areas with windows open. But the scent was truly citrus and possibly the scent could have been the mixture with old nasty chemicals in the rooms. All in all though the cleaner was effective.

Now here is how you can win some of these great green and eco-friendly products to use in and around your home. Choose up to $25 worth of products with a giftcard, here’s how:

Mandatory entry:

Check out the ecostore USA and tell me what two products you would like to have in your home (aside from the two mentioned above).

Extra entries:

  • Sign up for the ecostore USA newsletter (worth 5 entries)
  • Follow my blog
  • Fan The Fish
  • Follow me on Twitter
  • Follow ecostoreusa on Twitter
  • Tweet this giveaway (Daily tweets available!!) : I’m going green with this giveaway from @KariewithaK and @ecostoreusa http://tiny.cc/nqOon
  • Blog this giveaway (worth 5 entries)
CONTEST ENDS JANUARY 1ST 2010
@ 11:59PM ARIZONA TIME

Best of luck!

Blogs are Heartbreak Warfare

While jogging tonight I suddenly was overwhelmed by emotion. A huge sweeping wave that I have been fighting; for how long who knows. Tears came streaming and I fought them, I fought the burn. I used the excuse of the cold night air and the fact I just sprinted three-quarters of a mile, the burn in my chest, the ache, just the run. Then I smelled manure. Yes, that is it, just the manure for the rye grass seed of the prima Donna yards of the Arizona winter.

The burn faded as I began to power walk and breathe swiftly, the manure had subsided, the wave was now a tsunami. What was this feeling, why the onset of sadness, the overbearing feeling of emotion beating at my chest, weighing on my heart and mind. I felt as my head were in a tailspin, my eyes gravitated to the night sky to gaze upon the stars to ease this ache. My iPod was shuffling songs with varying beats per minute to keep me in line with my jog when finally I was floored by John Mayer.

I had listened to the song many times before, not a problem. Suddenly this song meant so much more to me today, at this moment than it ever had before. I realized the pain I was feeling was that of the last year and most recent events in my and others lives. The cost was my emotional toll of all these events. So much of my own emotion has been laid ever so bravely, albeit sometimes foolishly (to always wear my heart on my sleeve), with my blog. I have watched others do the same. Most recently a mother who experienced the most horrific tragedy fell victim to more pain because of her choice to bravely share an experience, to avoid her solitary confinement of despair, shock, and grief. Others have been victim to bad blood of failed business relations, failed friendships, even families are ever divided. In some situations the division could equate to infamous literary feuds: Montague v. Capulet and Hatfield v. McCoy.

Each story a heart, each heart a soul, and for each soul is one person sharing his or her story. Most share the story out of love, the love of writing, the love of life, the love of children, the love of their story because so many feel their pain, their joy, whatever the distinguished emotion, their situation is not exclusive, and yet so often we look at the blog, the tweet, the update as true social media, notwithstanding the true MEDIA aspect of news. Our posts are not FOX news, a breaking story from CNN, but a simple soul, an individual sharing their love for their life and the experiences they share no matter how callous, heartless, devastating, shocking, appalling, or deplorable.

Our blogs, our updates, our Tweets have become quite literally, and thank you John Mayer, Heartbreak Warfare. Jealousy fuels because of the lack of PR exclusivity, bombs of hate between former friends (and family) who cannot come to civil terms, families feuding for lack of understanding, compassion is the last to be shared by those involved or by the trippers. I am truly saddened by the many events of this year; the loss of my grandfather, the deterioration of the relationship with my sister (which if you know me and my blog, I have always shared such a special love for her), the deterioration of my friend and her sisters relationship, friends driving knives deeper and deeper, people being petty, not wanting to eat crow, swallow pride for the sake of humility, maybe even an ounce of humanity, compassion. No one has to be the best of friends, but a bit of human compassion could be called upon, only more pain is what remains.

I leave you with the lyrics to this song that resonated such powerful emotions within me, also my farewell into the New Year as I reflect on the year that was, the year to come, and my hope for this holiday is that the ugly line to fade and people start crossing the lines into humanity, compassion, empathy.

Our blogs are not news, we are people, ALL of us. We all have a heart, a soul, we all feel at some level.
Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It’s heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don’t you say so?
If you want more love,
why don’t you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It’s heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don’t you say so?
If you want more love,
why don’t you say so?

Just say so…

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I’d love you if you let me
but I can’t break through at all.

It’s a heartbreak…

I don’t care if we don’t sleep at all tonight
Let’s just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we’re gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and Ambien
You’re talking shit again, it’s heartbreak warfare
Good to know it’s all a game
Disappointment has a name, it’s heartbreak warfare.