Have you met the people who blog? I haven’t. I have met them through their beautiful writings, tweets, Vlogs, emails, and IM’s. Through these people I have seen beauty and strength. I have to say that bloggers are some of the coolest people around. Pat yourselves on the back, cheer, hoorah, because really I know that I am in the presence of greatness with some of the coolest, most genuine people. I am also super dooper UBER thankful for all the kind words, thoughts, prayers, kudos, MoJo, etc for myself during this time and for my family.
Seriously….some of the nicest and greatest people ever! You folks are awesome!
Now as a token….who wants to take a day off and come guest post? I would love to have some guest posts!
The ache, the constant nag, the swollen, sore eyes. While I wish these were all signs of my allergies I am heartbroken, at a loss, a loss beyond all words. Some of you have probably read my sisters very lovely post and we share our loss.
My dear, beloved Rock of the family. My Grandfather.
My grandpa is, was, and will be the only man I know who could look at me and see right through me. He KNEW me! He loved me and I loved him beyond everything man, material, cosmic, and heavenly.
He led a very long, experienced and good life. He was born in Indiana if I recall correctly, he served in the Navy where he met his long time wife, love, and pain in his ass my grandmother. He would goat her like no one’s business, life to him was to be enjoyed. They met when she was young, she was 16 and he was 23, and on a blind date, arranged by her friend. Grandma said it was love at first site! Grandma and Grandpa have five children, 10 grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren.
Grandpa loved life and said if life was not enjoyed by you, it was not worth living. He told me that once when I was a little girl when we were handling his horse and that statement has stuck with me ever since.
He had many horses actually. He is and was my original cowboy. If ever you thought of a cowboy he was THE ONE. Rough, soft hands, tall and lean, strong and wiry. He was stern and gentle, sweet and saucy, mean and quiet all at once. You could smell the sweat and dirt on his Stetson (I can still recall the smell to this day), manure and dirt on his boots, the smell of the warm denim of his jeans, the leather from his chaps and saddle, the smell of a pipe or a cigarette lingering in his shirt mingled with the warm smell of cologne, a Polo brand. He was something to be reckoned with and a sight to see. I have only seen him angry once and he was never a man to fear, he was a man who demanded a sort of respect I have not seen to this day.
Grandpa had a story for everything. He was the man of the hour to take you on his lap, tell you all you needed to know about baseball and basketball, Horses and cars, life, men, and women. He was so wise beyond his years. He was not perfect but he was perfect to me. He loved his family like none other, family is, was, and will always be his life. He was my life. I could spend hours staring into his bold blue eyes, the eyes that never faded or changed with age, they were electric, all knowing, all loving, and you could always see his spunk.
I carry an immense amount of guilt though with his passing yesterday (October 17, 2009). All week I meant to email my grandmother to find the right time to come see him where he would not be uncomfortable. His health had deteriortated rapidly from when I saw him at Christmas. So a visit would almost incapicitate him, so I wanted to schedule time where I would leave the kids at home. Where I could have time with him alone as I knew this would upset his schedule. I never sent the email. I never got to see him one last time. I am riddled with guilt, at a loss. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how he was my rock for the last 31 years, that I would be lost without him but I knew I would take his strength, his love to conquer all that I have. That because of him I have never lost sight, I always went for the impossible, I made the impossible possible because he knew I could do it. He told me never let anything get in the way of something profound and meaningful in your life.
Grandpa knew I had an unbridled fury for life and for exploring life. Grandpa and I were and are one in the same. We shared our secrets, he never judged and we knew how important we are and were to one another, how he still is my eternal love, he is the most genuine being I have ever met. Everything he said he meant, he used his words wisely. He taught me that I could be a lady, a girl, a woman, a mother, a tom-boy, and always be beautiful. He taught me to dance and to love Sinatra, he taught me to dance to Sinatra (Luck be a Lady) and the man could dance like a pro, as if he had clouds under his feet.
My dear Grandpa Dan, I know you are at peace, but selfish me wants you back, to give you your breath and take away the hurt and pain for one more day to spend with you, but in the words of Frank, you always did it your way! I love you, your oldest Granddaughter, Kare Babe.
My dear bloggy friend Melissa has this awesome little blog which landed her on a little show called Dr. Phil (well not EXACTLY like that, but thats not the point). She was called to be a part of the show because of her very STOUT opinion about motherhood and parenting. Her post and her position on the show resonated with me as a mother and with my inner child.
I am an abandoned child. No, my parents did not necessarily leave me at the firehouse to become a ward of the state. I was raised by both my parents until their divorce. My father moved out and then checked out, emotionally, physically, and mentally. His ties to his children were non-existent, if ever ties were present, hard to tell based on his actions. My mother, her sole focus was to be sure we were taken care of physically and basically. Food on the table, clothes on our back, roof over our heads. I do not blame my mother at all, she did what she had to do as a responsible parent and she went into survival mode. Nurture was not a priority when coming straight out of a nasty and bitter divorce. My mother did right with myself and my siblings, I commend her for all that she endured with raising three kids alone and the trying years we gave her. She could have made the choice to leave. To leave her three children in the care of a man who was not even half able to care for himself, who had (and still has) addiction issues, denial, emotional detachment, strong sense of egoism. While my father was not the fittest parent to care for children he mentally, physically, and emotionally made the decision to leave. Which in my opinion is more damaging than a parent leaving based on a divorce.
While watching the bits of the show I was angry that mothers, MOTHERS, do this to their own children. They make the decision to leave, possibly out of the whole feministic movement, who knows. What I do know is that everytime I leave my house without my children my uterus turns in knots. I know when my oldest does something he should not have before my husband even calls, I can tell when my twins have gotten hurt before I get a call, before I run to their aid I know exactly what is wrong. I feel like something is missing when they are not there. While I enjoy my personal time, I feel my sense of responsibility to them, ALL THE TIME.
I am not saying I am a perfect mother or a mother that has some tremendous bond. As a parent myself I have days, moments, hours where I want to escape. Escape the pressures of being a parent. But only for a moment, until I am brought to center. Where I have my three feet of personal space, to take some deep breaths, to have a moment of Zen. Then I can tackle yet again, this job, duty, the love of being a mother.
I watched as these mothers left. They felt no attachment. None. None to care for their children. To provide. To nurture. To build a protection and level of security that all children need no matter what their age. While my mother provided basics during and after the divorce was finalized she began to nurture again and still does. My mother is the sweetest most hearty woman I know. Her goodness is what makes me what I am today with the balance of my father and his not so stellar qualities. Which segues me back to my father and his detachment. When parents divorce and leave they make the physical decision to leave the shared home, stated fact. Okay, these two people clearly cannot be under the same roof. However, the decision to leave should not include the decision to check out emotionally.
I am tainted goods. I have an inner child with deep rooted damage of a father who left. A parent who abandoned not just because of the divorce, but because he chose NOT to care for his children. Father’s to some degree I can see how this is easy, to disconnect from children, they do not have the internal bonding that a mother shares with her child in utero. At times when I think of my pregnancies I can pin point each rib that each child dug a heel or elbow into. I still get a wince of pain. So I can see how fathers may checkout. But I cannot understand for the life of me why a mother would leave. HOW? How can she live with herself? Is she so delusional to think that she has no responsibility to that child? I commend Melissa for what she does.
She is a step-mother to her step-children that live with her and her husband (children’s father) FULL-TIME. You can read all about her story here. I connected with Melissa because when my father divorced my mother he was immediately “dating” his previous ex-wife. Yeah, my mom was #2. My father makes the wise decision then not even a year after they are separated to “date” and three months after the divorce is finalized in January of 1988, April 1988 my new half-brother is born. O.K.A.Y. But at least my less than acceptable father marries and impregnated (twice) a good woman. Yes in 1989 a half sister arrived. Nonetheless though, my step-mother was my surrogate mother every other weekend that we were in the drunken custody of my father. If not for this woman life would be unbearable, scary, and downright suicidal if not a complete free-for-all. My step-mother took myself and my two siblings in as her own. She loved us, fed us, clothed us even. She would take us on hikes, plan day trips, dance with us, color with us, teach us to cook. Sounds like any normal mom right? Except she did not bear us from her womb, she merely married my sperm donor, who divorced MY mother.
I truly understand and feel the pain of the loss of a parent. The disconnect. The abandonment. But I have to say I would be devastated, I would not be who I am today if I did not have my mother nor my step-mother. I have been blessed to have had TWO extremely beautiful, strong, loving women in my life who taught me love, respect, and beauty. They taught me that even when the going gets tough, you dig in, bear down, and fight. My mother fought for us in the divorce, she fought to not let my father make any attempts to rip us from her. So for those of you who have lost your mothers I am so sorry. I know your feelings, but cannot begin to feel your pain. Your pain is like no other than can be healed. The loss of a parent to death can be grieved through the stages of grief, but a parent and or mother especially lost out of her own self-decision is devastating. Mothers are the world. They don’t call everything her mother Earth for no reason, because a mother is our entire worlds.
For those mothers and fathers who have left I wish I could wrap my head around your reasoning, your disconnect, your emotional detachment, your failure to adhere to the unwritten laws of parenting. I do not judge, I just wish some of us could understand. Are your motives selfish? Are they the inability to cope? How can you abandon your child? YOUR CHILD?
Seriously I think my kids eat ALL the time. Non-stop from the moment they wake up to the time they go to sleep. You would never know with Sara, unless she has a tape worm or something, we don’t call her Little Bitty for nothing! Seth and Grant could probably eat some linebackers or at least some fullbacks under the table FOR SURE! And they aren’t fat…..but I have been tracking their eating, and seriously all day. So instead of telling you their eating schedule, please watch this informational video that I found on YouTube which will fully explain the extent to which my children eat….and the times they eat!
If you watched my Mingle on Monday you saw that I had a billow of steam behind me. Some quite literally thought I might torch my kitchen, behold…..the power of the Fish! Okay, so I am kidding, but the steam was much, probably from the fact I had the hood on trying to suck all of that steam away.
So I promised my winning recipe from these lovely items that I share in my Friday post about how I Heart my CSA. If you did not read, go back, gaze upon the fruits of the Earth! Because I ate almost everything in that photo. Not alone! Dear GAWD NO! I had help. Again, the fruits:
Okay quite a bit in this photo, but feast your eyes on those BEAUTIFUL organic tomatoes! YUM! And just to the left of those juicy, perfectly delectable tomatoes is a bushel (not a true metric measurement bushel) of Licorice basil. Just absolutely beautiful as well, the smell is intoxicating, and the taste, OH SO SWEET!
My recipe for some Grrrrrreat sauce:
1/2 c. Vodka (any Vodka will do, set aside a little extra for you with a lime and ice)
4 c. diced tomatoes (if you don’t have enough fresh tomatoes……canned works AWESOME!)
1 can tomato paste (I bought organic since it was as cheap as the regular stuff, but again, any type will do!)
1 T. onion power
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
1/4 Purple bell pepper for a bit of zing
2 basil stalks (my stalks are huge and I love Basil, but use it to your liking an taste)
1/2 t. Oregano
1/2 t. Parsley
Salt/pepper to taste
(For a bit more of a biting sauce, add 1 t. crushed red pepper, I pulverized mine so it mixes well, you can do the same with the back of a spoon and a Ziploc bag)
In a large skillet or deep pot, add tomatoes and dry ingredients (onion powder, oregano, parsley, salt/pepper, basil, bell pepper) bring to a low boil. Slowly add vodka and return to a boil. Add in can of tomato paste and stir, reduce heat to simmer. Simmer for as long as your desired taste and thickness (I simmered mine for most of the day), the vodka brings out a very rich taste in the tomatoes. Be sure to add garlic 20 minutes before serving. This allows the sauce to maintain the garlic flavor and taste, otherwise if you are not a garlic fan, add at the beginning with all dry ingredients.
I also like to add sausage to my sauce, Italian sausage, Jimmy Dean Breakfast sausage, or ground beef all works WONDERFULLY! I also LOVE a sweet Italian ground turkey meat as well. YUM!
Remove from heat and serve over spaghetti, angel hair, or any desired pasta. VOILA!
BTW – I think you will find there is LESS sugar and LESS calories in this homemade recipe than a standard jar of sauce. Plus, I think it tastes better. But I am a food snob too!
Fall has to be the best time of year! Tons of great media out at this time of year. Seriously, I will say it again, all the great TV shows are back on for fall, movies in time for Thanksgiving, and the music scene is EXPLODING!
Speaking of exploding, have you heard Brandi Carlile? I had not heard of her name to be quite honest, but her sound was familiar. The awesome folks at One2OneNetwork provided me with a download so that I could see hear for myself what Brandi is all about. And I tell you once I heard her music she reminded me of the young, breakout sounds of Sarah McLachlan. Brandi has such a fun, unique, soulful sound with emotional lyrics, she has her own style that is just absolutely contagious.
I love her songs “Looking Out” and “Dying Day.” I have them in my iPod when I go jogging every night because each has a great beat, a makes you want to move rhythm, not to mention the beats per minute are perfect for boosting your cardio! She also has some really great slow ballads that emote strong emotion, but I am a feeler, I feel my music. I don’t just listen to my music because music is life in our house.
Speaking of life and music, maybe you recognize Brandi’s sound? Any Grey’s Anatomy fans out there? (Waving hand WILDLY!!) Yes, Brandi has been a featured track artist for the show along with several commercials, so if you recognize her, your favorite fall show is where you have heard her wonderful music. But don’t take my word on how rocking this girl is with her funky country, rock, pop sound and her soulful, emotion filled music. Find out more about Brandi and her new album “Give Up the Ghost” in the Brandi Carlile newsletter.
Here is her current track list for “Give Up the Ghost”:
Looking Out
Dying Day
Pride And Joy
Dreams
That Year
Caroline
Before It Breaks
I Will
If There Was No You
Touching The Ground
Oh Dear
To celebrate creativity in the kitchen for both parents and kids, Step2 is announcing a national contest that will award ONE grand-prize of a NEW DREAM KITCHEN SUITE from Frigidaire, including a refrigerator, dishwasher, over the counter microwave, and oven, as well as a new Step2 toy kitchen of their choice.
The “Step2 Creative Kids in the Kitchen Contest†is asking families to submit an essay of 250 words or less on how they foster creativity when cooking and have fun in the kitchen together. Second place prize is a Step2 kitchen of their choice, while one third place winner will receive a $50 gift certificate good toward any toy on Step2.com.
The Step2 Creative Kids in the Kitchen Contest begins on September 15, 2009 at 12:01 a.m. ET and ends on December 4, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. ET.
Recently I have been the proud parent of a semi-defiant, attitude riddled, six year old boy who properly dropped the “F” bomb at school in proper context. His outed behavior, society, and a certain community are something of a lesson to be learned.
Lately I have seen buzz, tweets, blogs, posts, blah blah blah about drama drama drama. Here is my fishy take on drama based on the sayings from a wise man, “You are who you associate yourself with.”
Roger. Are you scratching your head? Let me say this, if you hang out with people who generate drama, incivility, rudeness, egoism, then you will attract the aforementioned. Maybe you are saying, but I still generate drama and I am “not even doing anything.” Again, possibly guilty by association.
My son, he was guilty by association. He associated himself with a behavioral heathen. The boy he was hanging out with had ZERO disciplinarian action at home, clearly. I am sure he is a good boy, but he lacks structure and he happened to rub off on my son who in turn morphed into a behavioral heathen for a few days.
I have seen grown adults act in this manner. Everyday. At work. The store. On the road. At my son’s school at the parent pick-up line, and lastly the internet. People acting like a bunch of ninnies! Why? Attention. Chaos. The flat out fact they cannot handle being bored maybe, I am sure they have their unknown reasons.
Additionally, I have seen grown adults name call like a bunch of kindergarteners. I mean seriously!? Nonetheless surprising though when a U.S. Senator goes to such great lengths to call the President of the United States a LIAR! I mean really, great, your opinion, not a fact, and truly what was accomplished by such an action. Nothing. The jackass senator had to issue an apology, he had to grovel, for acting like a putz.
Which segues into why do people call names? Why belittle? And then why claim to support empowerment, community, comraderie, only to turn around when the first person is negative and call them a name? Have you seen the name calling? Troll. Bitch. Idiot. Fraud. Liar. Carpet Bagger (which is my fave….I don’t think a lot of name calling ninnies understand the true meaning of this, brush up on US History would you). I am truly perplexed at the back stabbing capabilities and name calling of people. Actions such as these do not even render a school aged genre, but more of what is your point? What are you accomplishing?
My take….which take it or leave it, my feelings cannot be hurt…..my take on the situation of name callers, two faces, and hypocrites is that they do not know how to deal with people who:
Have a difference of opinion. Without different opinions life would be dull. Colorless. Bland. My personal intellectual level would drop if I did not have people around me with various outlooks, opinions. Opinions and beliefs are the spice of life, what makes life interesting, note worthy, promotes enlightenment to those who wish to embrace enlightenment with an open mind.
Harvest personal feelings of insecurity. People call names because all of the sudden they feel threatened. Hurt. Scared. They might feel less than, so rather than embracing, again, differences in other people, they call names almost like a “fight or flight” mechanism. They belittle to the point where they themselves are reduced to an ethereal wisp of a soul and then they feel worse.
Exude a greater amount of personal success on various levels. Name calling and attacks happen too out of jealousy. I personally, I do not envy nor do I get jealous over tiddly things. If I see something that is better, nicer, etc I work harder, smarter, I create a balance. I assess do I really want that and what that better something brings? What are the consequences if any? By embracing that someone has something better, commend them, ask them, “Hey that is awesome, how did you start to end where you are?” People with REAL success do not have to tote it around like a monkey on their back, they do not have to go to great lengths to say “Hey! Look at me! I am a success!” You know the ones, the douche-bag type that goes and buys a Bentley when he says he cannot afford to pay the employees in his company. Even though they act like a douche, you don’t tell them, no reason, you get nowhere that way.
I think a lot of people were taught the correct thing to do in the face of adversity. He or she was taught to embrace, kill people with kindness and get other people talking. If someone comes and bags on what you say, my response would be:
“I appreciate your feedback, but I do not appreciate your insults. What is your take on the matter, I would really like to hear other’s opinions?”
This comment will generate a conversation and not an insult fest. If you reply like this:
“Ok Troll. Go FUCK yourself.” (Now I am going to go Google Earth your house based on your IP and post for everyone to see how stinking cool I am”
Really…not cool. Besides if someone comes back with their reply, listen, if you don’t agree. Say I really appreciate your feedback. People like to be validated. We all do. If our feelings and opinions are not validated then we also go on the attack. Children do it, adults do it. People have feelings and opinions and they should always be respected whether you agree or not. The spice of life, differences, beliefs, color, how boring life would be if those elements were missing.
So next time you run into a sticky situation of playing well with others consider what was said before, is there really any point to belittling and name calling? Be the bigger man, grow a pair and be kind (rewind…ha sorry!) and check out these great ideas from Robert Fulghum, who wrote the book “All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten.”
Can you believe that we are more than three-quarters through 2009?! I know I cannot believe how fast time has flown. I can tell you that we have 75 days until Christmas!
THAT’S IT! ES TODO!
So if you are like me and wait until the VERY last minute to shop, or you finally get the nerve to rouse in the morning before 4am to fight all those lovely Black Friday shoppers, like I did last year. Well you are in luck!
I, Karie, aka Mrs. Fish, am compiling the ultimate gift guide for you! These lovely gifts will be oh so unique that your recipient will be swooning in joy over their one of a kind package. The range is from a total family gift, so one everyone in the family can enjoy, to individual gifts for the “hard to shop for” or “they have everything.”
Be ready! The gift giving begins HERE November 1st. What is even better than a guide of wonderful gifts, is the chance to WIN some of these AWESOME gifts! How is that for holiday shopping! You’re very own holiday concierge, right here, delivered by moi.
I am still compiling a FABULOUS month of gift giving ideas, reviews, and giveaways, because you can never have enough GREAT ideas for gifts. If you are not participating with The Five Fish Holiday Gift Guide YOU SHOULD BE! Share with us your products, we love to hear about them and give them a good whirl in our house. If you are PR, please use the linky above to submit all requests. I look forward to hearing, sharing, and giving you all a Jolly Good Holiday time!
