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Not Feeling It

While I am suppose to be doing a Monday Mingle wich I was looking forward to doing this week….I am not feeling it. We were celebrating Grant’s birthday today, even though it’s tomorrow. But what’s worse is we took our bulldog to the vet. Last time we took our dogs to the vet we have had to put them down. Each. And. Every. One of them. My husband’s beloved Bulldog and my beloved Bassett.

So tonight, I wait by the phone. Tomorrow. I try to keep the happiest face as my oldest son celebrates six glorious years of his life while his best friend of the same age is at the vet, not here to celebrate with him. Which he wants more than anything.

I apologize….I am just not feeling it because my furry friends are just as much my family and I feel at a total loss. Afraid of the unknown, sad about what MAY come to pass. So I cannot put on a happy face and blog.

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I’m Dreaming of an HMO

The health care debate is probably the HOTTEST topic since former President Clinton got his cigar wet with Monica Lewinsky. Admit it. We ALL are talking about it. We ALL have a stance on it. We ALL want something done about health care in this country.

But let me ask you this…..who here has health care and is BITCHING about the plan Obama is suggesting? Just give me a quick raise of hands. OH, over 250 million of you. How many of you read my blog? How many of you think the health care plan Obama and Congress, who are insured by the way, are proposing is flawed?

Now how many don’t think the plan is flawed?

**ME, Waving my hand wildly!!**

Before you go and hit the unfollow with Google and Blogger here my political rant for just a moment. There are roughly over 300 million people in this country based on the 2008 U.S. census bureau, of that number only 47 million are uninsured. I AM ONE OF THEM.

You got it. I have no health insurance. NONE. Nada. Zippo. Zilch, Zero, Nine, nothing to cover my family for basic office visits, vaccinations, check ups and gasp accidents in the event one of my kids needs to go to the ER for anything major. So the proposal of ANY health care for ALL people is fantastic, awesome, superb, fucking great, fabulous, sign me up. You see the hubs and I had our policy cancelled by his employer back in May. We were told they would no longer supply group coverage to the employees. Okay. Not good news, but the great news was that the coverage sucked a goats tail so we were eager to shop for our own private, self-pay policy. We found one too. One that was roughly the same payment each month but better coverage. But that was clearly a pipe dream. Let me explain why.

Yesterday while checking my mail, like any other suburban, desperate housewife day, I saw a few letters from our “proposed” insurance company. I was eager to open these envelopes like Christmas Day was upon me. I truly wish I had not been so eager. Here are the contents of the first letter. Ladies please enjoy my limited coverage reasons….(click to enlarge so you can see)

Do you see it? Do you see the exclusions for my coverage? That’s right my tata’s. Everything that outwardly shows I am female, my bosom, that which nursed each of my three children. You got it, they will not cover me tata’s. But what I find funny in that, is had I not upgraded the girls to 2.0 I would be covered. So if I got breast cancer and a double mastectomy that would be covered, as well as the implants to replace the ones I lost, but did you know they won’t cover you again if you get breast cancer again in the event any traces of breast tissue are left? You got it. A double edged sword. Now DH, well he was declined altogether.

Want to know why?

Well in 2005 when he was stressed to the hilt with a new job, excruciating back pain, and other environmental factors, he was told he has high blood pressure. Sure most people, most NORMAL people have elevated blood pressure when in pain. A body’s normal reaction to pain, excitement, fear, we do not ALWAYS have perfect blood pressure. So when figuring out what was going on with him for pain, and getting a normal check up he saw a nurse practitioner. Let me repeat: A. NURSE. PRACTITIONER. Did you get that? A NURSE. Not a physician. Okay, so he sees her, she does a work up, does blood work, orders results, blah blah, takes said blood pressure. His blood pressure is ELEVATED. He explains his pain and environmental factors such as work stress, blah blah. She ignores this. She does not issue him to come back to see the DOCTOR to take his blood pressure again. She does not tell him, okay lets treat the pain (which we did ALL ON OUR OWN) and see what the pain management does for your blood pressure. Nope. She does what ALL health care practitioners do: ISSUE DRUGS.

Why?

Well this royally fucks your medical records, AND, AND they get their cut from the insurance companies, from the drug companies, they get bonuses, kickbacks, perks. The whole thing is a circle jerk of greedy bastards. You don’t believe me? Go see a shrink. In a 10 minute session you will be diagnosed with depression or anxiety and put on meds just because of normal stress and everyday conditions in your life that talk therapy could help ease. Go, see for yourself. I did. Ruined my life for TWO years. But that’s a whole OTHER blog post.

Said NURSE PRACTITIONER tells DH “Well, you are showing “SIGNS” of high blood pressure which may suggest you have a problem. Let’s write you a prescription and see how that goes.”

Now here is what I got out of that conversation “suggest” and “signs” which both tell me NO CLEAR DIAGNOSIS. No physician made any determination. No physician saw him. NO follow up to this appointment to suggest they look at him again. So here are the results:

You see there? Because he FAILED TO COMPLY with taking medication he is denied health coverage. FAILED TO COMPLY with something that was illegitimate. That was “suggested” not diagnosed, by. a. NURSE. Not a PHYSICIAN, A. NURSE. And so the health care saga continues where we now have to fight. Yes, we have to contact said DOCTOR’s office to COMPLAIN and FIGHT that a NURSE “suggested “a diagnosis based on a single visit. Not multiple visits, not multiple blood pressure readings, not after the pain management of his ruptured discs, nope, just a flat diagnosis. Which the health insurance company took for gospel. Can you see it? At the bottom? Sorry DH, no health insurance for you. So we have to visit said doctor WITH NO HEALTH INSURANCE, to get a clear diagnosis. Where we have to PAY the whole kit and caboodle. Sure we cannot pay like many others and let it screw our credit when they send us to collections….but that’s not how we roll.
Oh did I mention….this is the letter they provided to show you why they declined, or the reason for limiting coverage. You tell me…..where is my explanation? Oh, that’s right…if I want a legitimate explanation I have to request it IN WRITING. And, if I am lucky in 30 days they will comply and send me a fancy letter written on behalf of their legal department that is so cryptic that I need a VCR manual as my dictionary to help me decipher.
Thanks for playing Let’s Make a Health Care Deal.

I ask you….all of you…..ANY of you….the offering of a NATIONAL health care plan, which would be funded by tax dollars, is it really so bad? I mean you fork out thousands a year anyway in taxes AND health insurance premiums through your employer, why not lump it into one. Why not have the government regulate these greedy fucks who keep us healthy. Regulate the greedy corporate heads that run these insurance companies who determine whether or not we get coverage. Regulate care based on TRUE patient care and not quotas, bonuses, and kick backs! Hell give the docs a bonus for not seeing as many patients a year because we as a nation are choosing a healthier lifestyle, healthier living, healthier CHOICES! Give them a kickback for not writing as many scripts, for promoting wellness through healthier life choices such as diet, exercise, sleep, massages, fresh air, the REAL luxuries we want in life. We as a country were so busy regulating and deregulating banking that the silent thief that was fleecing all of us was HEALTHCARE. Health insurance companies, doctors, pharmaceutical companies. Did you know that they all still make and made profits despite our “recession”? Of course, health is big business, so why not bend us all over and not treat us to happy hour before hand, or at least a little foreplay.

What is even more funny is people talk about the costs of raising children. Some people are choosing not to have additional children because of the recession. What people are not telling you, is what the initial investment is to have those children. Not the lifetime commitment we as parents or future parents have agreed to, no, I mean the thousands of dollars we spend for OB/GYN care, delivery fees, physician’s costs, hospital fees. Holy cow I spent less to close my house than I did to close up my c-section for my twins!!

The debate about death panels (EFF YOU Sarah Palin…you have insurane right? Kthx, thanks for playing!), undocumented immigrants, semantics, rhetorics, who is and who is not a liar is complete MINUTIAE!! You want to know my death panel? Not having ANY health care coverage on my bread winner, DH, not having health coverage on the loves of my life, DH and my three priceless children. That is my death panel. But the best part about insurance, life insurance! Yup, my insurance agent is trying to SHOVE life insurace down my throat. I can see why. 1. He gets a large cut for commissions, and 2. Might as well get paid out on my dying family who cannot afford to go to the doctor right? Amazing! I am sure there will be a kicker there though, the life insurance will fail to pay for the fact that we were negligent with our health because we could not afford the $200 fee just to walk in the door to see the doctor to care for our illness.

I want to know…what is the fight really about? The ones who are fighting and arguing are the ones WITH health care coverage. You know who they are….all 50 members of each party of the Senate,(100total) all some 500 members of the House of Representatives (if I can recall 8th grade civics correctly), all 250 plus million of you, including senior citizens who are already on national health care…yes that’s right…Medicare is not private…government. Oh and the VA, the one that covers our soldiers, well that is government health care too…good enough for all of them right? The military, yeah they are government health care too, good enough to care for them and treat them and their families? Why not me?

Next time you go to argue about the health care debate, think about me, DH, Big G, Seth-en-stein, and my Little Bitty, who DO NOT HAVE healthcare coverage. Who cannot afford the exorbitant premiums of the private, self-pay health care, where the employer DOES NOT offer group health coverage. Next time you visit your doctor and pay your $20 copay, you think of me. How we are fighting to get coverage, the keep coverage, to afford coverage. Tell me….what is wrong with this picture!

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Orgasmic Review: Eden Fantasy’s Giveaway

Sex is such a great topic. Very open in my household, though we limit specifics for obvious reasons. I don’t need my six year old running off to school talking about quickies and Nooners. So if you are prudish, squeamish, or sex is taboo…..DO NOT READ THIS. Or do but don’t hate on me. 
 
I’m a Catholic. We’re taught that sex is a dirty, vile, disgusting, act that you save for the one you truly love.
– Paul Begala from his appearance on Bill Maher.
So when Nicole and Drew from Eden Fantasy’s contacted me about the fun stuff they offer surrounding sex and doing a review, I jumped them faster than my husband on a horny night! Now Eden Fantasy’s is terrific because they are not a “perv shop” like some people may think. Eden Fantasy’s is a great, upscale, adult, online retailer that sells more than just sex toys. Eden Fantasy’s also offers adult toys and vibrators for those who are into enhanced and or self-pleasure, but they also offer lingerie and love games to those who are looking for maybe just a bit of spice or a little extra heat in the bedroom.
I for one already have PLENTY of heat in the bedroom. You don’t get a single (Big G) and a double (the twins) from lack of heat! But with kids, you learn to be creative, take it where you can get it, and sometimes, even though there is heat, you need the spice!
My choice was tough, really, to kick up my spice level with the hubs. He travels a lot so we don’t get to “date” as much as we used to and babysitters….well few and far between. I looked at their lingerie and costumes, because I for one LOVE to dress up. Naked or fully dressed, I love to know what I wear is sexy and makes my man hot. I solicited his opinion to help in my quest for upping the boudoir action….BOY did I open a can of worms. You thought I was herny….I was getting Google messages like no tomorrow to check out links. He was like a panting dog in summer and I loved it, we had fun just shopping!
Finally we decided on a great new toy…a vibrator to be exact. But not just any old vibrator.
The Orgasmic Foreplay Kit.

I have to tell you that I was at first intimidated by the “gadget.” And by gadget I mean the Double Clicking your Mouse…gadget. I was like…hmm….could be interesting…never tried it….what the hell! The controls are super easy and the push button make handling a breeze. No fumbling for the “knob” to turn off or on. And the companion toy is great for interchanging with other toys. Made of soft jelly, not the typical hard silicone the toy is pliable and skin-friendly. We were just burning to get the package in….checking the mail all week.
Hubs and I received it on a Saturday before noon.
PERFECT!!
The timing couldn’t be better. We pawned Big G off to the neighbors to play. The twins….down for a good two to three hour nap. The house was ALL OURS!! We giggled and flirted like teenagers giddy to makeout when Mom and Dad are gone, opened the box, washed and readied our new toy, and skipped to the bedroom for some play time. We were all geared up, sweat was already starting to bead from us and we were still dressed! Hubs grabbed our pink foreplay friend, fired her up…..and….she was a one shotter. That’s right. We didn’t even get to play with her and she came and went before we did. Way to go hubs!
LAME. 

But never fear, Eden Fantasy’s has a SUPERB return policy. The instructions are easy to follow, just call your representative and easy peasy pumpkin pie, you are squared away. So we returned our pink foreplay friend and received the new one, talk about “bang for your buck.” Not as much planning went into our second go around for the Big O, but I gotta tell ya ladies. OH. MY. GOD. Truly there is nothing like the real deal with your man….but if the cat is away my mouse will play. I cannot explain it. But I loved the fact that I was a limp noodle when all was said and done. I had not slept that well in a LONG time like I did that night.

Here is Eden Fantasy’s Mission Statement:

EdenFantasys.com invites you to learn from others, share your experiences and re-discover sex. We offer online shopping you can trust, a welcoming community and a wealth of inspiring resources.

They also offer a wide seletion of products from as tame as candles to as hot as the toys, are a welcoming sex-positive community, hold the highest standards in online transaction (can totally vouch for that!), and have a great privacy policy.

With all of that, since I know you are hoping you don’t get screwed in this review…or maybe you do hope to get screwed…..here is the FABULOUS giveaway deets from Eden Fantasy’s and The Five Fish:

$50 Gift Card to Eden Fantasy’s
The rules of getting screwed in this giveaway are as follows
and you MUST do the following in order to be entered:
  • Tell me the one thing about sex for you. For example you might be prudish about sex, the use of toys, maybe talking about sex, is sex taboo to you and in your house, are you a closet freak? Tell me your one thing about sex. This HAS to be done before any other entries count. (Leave your email addy of course so we can contact you with the goods!)

Here are all your extra entries which will be LOADS of fun!

  • Visit Eden Fantasy’s and tell me what you would like for yourself or your partner
  • Follow my blog or tell me you already do (the button is at the bottom)
  • Follow me on Twitter or tell me you already do
  • Tweet this Giveaway (once per day until the end of the contest)
  • Fan The Fish on Facebook (see my LEFT sidebar)
  • Technorati fave this blog (button also on LEFT sidebar)
  • Stumble my Blog
  • Blog about this giveaway with a link back to me (Worth THREE extra entries)
  • For extra FUN, Follow and Tweet up Nicole, Drew, and Eden Fantasy’s about your fantasy, position, or fun toys! Be sure to tell them I sent ya! (Worth THREE more entries)

~~Be sure you leave a comment for each item, such as Fanned, Followed, Tweeted, these are extra entries for winning. I don’t count them unless you leave me the comment love. Again, don’t forget your email address too, you can’t get screwed if you don’t leave me your contact! LOL~~

GOOD LUCK!!
CONTEST ENDS SEPT. 25TH @ 10AM ARIZONA TIME.

 *Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency.

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Sounds Fishy

Not this time. No “fishy” business here. Just wanted to wrap my Fish Head around my Fishy Readers!!

If you could take less than two minutes to answer these few questions I would be eternally grateful. Just follow the easy peasy link, which I will also post on the site if you lose this post. Thanks so much for your cooperation. I just wanted to get a better idea about my readers. Have a great day!!

Karie

The Five Fish Survey

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Yoplait Fiber One 50 Calorie Yogurt Giveaway & Review

The folks over at Yoplait have been INGENIOUS with creating foods especially for those who are on a diet but still want flavor and those who are pressed for time. As a mom of three kids, two are 18 month old twins, time is but a luxury. Meals have to be made and made fast. Leaving me scrambling in the kitchen for something that resembles a meal and a meal that is healthy and filling. Moms are the ultimate short order cooks. So when I am left feeling hungry and not quite satisfied after my rushed meal, or I have a craving for some snacks, or my ultimate comfort food……ICE CREAM…..I have been reaching for the Yoplait Fiber One 50 Calorie Yogurt.
Can you see that!!?? (Please click to see my great circling job!!)
50 calories! 3 grams of protein, ZERO fat, not to mention LOW CARB, look at the 5 grams of fiber. That is the secret to this tasty snack is the fiber.
Fiber is great for your diet. Hello ladies, having trouble with your “deuce?” Yeah, can you say FIBER!
Plus 20 percent of the Recommended Daily Value of fiber. It is also a good source of calcium and vitamins A and D, making this an all-around great choice for dieters and those watching their weight.
Here is the true “skinny” for all of you dieters and moms out there who are curious as to how good this yogurt can really taste, especially at 50 calories. Take it from Hungry Girl okay?
The folks over at My Blog Spark sent me this great Yoplait Snack pack and the opportunity to go get some Yoplait Fiber One yogurt for myself to try out. Truly I love this stuff!! I thought, “Man this is gonna taste like diet food….total ass.” NO WAY!! Still the same great super creamy taste that Yoplait has to offer without the guilt! I can have the perfect lunch of a grilled chicken salad with a side of yogurt and I am completely satisfied. I get my sweet fix without the guilt. I have to admit that the Key Lime pie IS. MY. FAVE! Not too bitter, not too sweet and hey the strawberry is fabulous with chunks of real strawberry inside. YUMMO!
What is even better than telling you about this great snack?
I get to give THREE lucky readers a gift bag that includes a Fiber One yogurt VIP coupon (good for a free 4-pack of Fiber One yogurt), cooler pack, and other storage items for you to carry your snacks and yogurt- it’s great for work and other on-the-go activities!

Here is how you can enter to win:
  • Leave me a comment telling me what your diet secrets are, your guilty snacking pleasures (mine is ice cream), and or what are you doing to manage your weight?
Want additional entries for these goodies?
  • Follow my blog (the button is at the bottom) and tell me you do
  • Follow me on Twitter
  • Tweet this Giveaway (up to twice a day!) Leave a comment for each tweet status
  • Subscribe to my feed (on the left)
  • Fan the Fish on Facebook (on the left)
  • Fave me on Technorati
  • Stumble my Blog (not this post)

PLEASE be sure you leave your EMAIL address along with corresponding links for Tweets, etc.
Giveaway will end on September 18, 2009 @ 10am Arizona Time.

Good Luck and Have Fun!!
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Dirty Little Secrets

Families are KNOWN for dirty little secrets. All families. No family is without secrets of some sorts. My family by far was and is THE. WORST. Before anyone thinks I am going to post anything awful….put your pistols away and read with a VERY open mind.
I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
What the hell does that mean to you? My dad is an alcoholic. Was an alcoholic. Probably always will be an alcoholic. For the families that hold secrets they called their dads or moms or whomever the family member is and was, “a drinker.” The “drinker” was the socially acceptable term for the alcoholic, because everyone is/was in denial. Which is A-OK, I was in denial, I was clueless, I also suffered from the secrets, the disease and the illnesses that accompany alcoholism.
My dad is/was like any other dad. He was good hearted, loving, smiling, a provider. But his nasty illness to binge on alcohol, drugs, women, everything is/was addicting to him. My mom, she was/is like any other mother. Heart of gold, will do anything for her kids, loving, happy, a provider. But my mom did a very good job of hiding what my dad was doing. His late nights. His hangovers where he was ill and puking from mixing booze with drugs. His illness because he is probably intolerant altogether to alcohol causing him migraines and physical illness. His cheating on my mother. His lack of concern for his children.
These behaviors went on for MANY years. So many years so that I began to be the caretaker in my family. My dad checked out after the birth of my brother, was unseen with my sister, and my mother began working full time to help pay the bills that my father racked up from unnecessary purchases. Oh and did I mention his bipolar disorder too? Friendly combination, addiction and mental illness. The behaviors went on. I became Mom. At the ripe age of EIGHT. I was dressing my siblings for school, feeding them, and caring for myself because my father was still passed out drunk from nights before, or flat out failed to come home. My mother worked nights as a nurse, her ability to be there full time for us kids was obviously limited as my parents were a two parent income household, they both had to work. Finally after two years of the continued misery of my fathers black hole spiral my mother threw in the towel and they got divorced.
Lots of parents get divorced. But I never knew why. I thought, they just don’t get along anymore. Not until I was old enough did the Big Pink Elephant finally receive recognition for being in my life. My dad is an alcoholic. His illness and failure to accept his illness killed my family. A lot of my family was lost because of his illness. My siblings, we rarely speak. Because of so many hurts within a dysfunctional alcoholic or addiction ridden family. We have pains from the family unit and so we turned in on each other, we would fend for ourselves. Not full time, but when we would visit my dad we would. I remember a time when his first wife, whom he began seeing while still married to my mother, came to visit. My father locked myself and my younger siblings out of his apartment with just a few dollars so that we could walk a mile or so to the local Circle K to buy candy and a Thirstbuster. Because he needed a fix.
I am 100 times more likely to become an alcoholic. I choose not to be. I watched my father tear me to pieces like a lion to a lamb. I was called every curse word you could think of…..I can recall and cite verbatum those words, those comments. They sting. They pain. That the one man in my life who should have been my TRUE knight in shining armor was the root of all evil. His secret. His illness. The illness that would tear me to pieces name by name, inch by inch, until my self-worth lay in a puddle of tears. The illness that led me to believe I was the fattest and ugliest person on Earth. The illness that led me to believe I would never be smart enough. His illness, his drinking said those horrible things. The illness he once attested to having. He came to grips with his addiction, his illness. He was sober….for a year. I lived with him during that time. I got to know a bit of my dad. I had someone I could talk to without being called names, without the condescending tone, the belittling, the pain, the sting. But it all changed. I moved out because I was 19, I had a boyfriend (the now hubs), and his divorce became final.
My Dad died to me that year when he began drinking again. He still calls me to this day and I resent him. I am indifferent to his “love” and affection because he sacrificed his sobriety for a woman, for lack of control over a situation. A woman that will never love him again. Will never marry him. Will never speak to him casually. That woman was not my mother. He even told me once that he only truly loved this woman, as if he had forsaken the other woman he was once married to, my mother. My family still does not talk about my dad, his addiction, the pain he causes our family because he chooses to drink, the destruction he causes emotionally and at once physically because of the alcohol. Because his drink means more than the love and respect of his children. His drink is more important that to live his life sober, for him, to enjoy that natural high of life. He is so fully operational as a round the clock drunk that he is delusional, half demented, and quite literally the saddest person ever. I never talk about the truth of my dad because dirty little secrets suck. They are painful. They are damaging.  But I talk about them because alcohol touches all families, somehow, someway, with someone they love. Secrets hurt families, and so we talk about them to put an end to the cycle of hurt.
What I do know is that no matter how damaging and painful those secrets may be, I want my kids to know.
I want my kids to know that I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I had the worst teachers for dealing with pain, emotion, anger, rage, hurt, disappointment, fear, sadness, jealousy. These feelings were never dealt with in my family because we could never show people that anything was wrong with our family. That we had a secret to keep. So we kept up the perfect front, the perfect life, perfect feelings. I want my kids to know that being sad, mad, jealous, angry, feeling rage for a short moment is great! Embrace it.  I want my kids to know that I drink once in a blue moon. Having an alcoholic beverage is okay. Having one everyday is not okay. Feeling you need one everyday, every few hours, ALL day, is not okay. The same can be said with drugs. I have had my bout with addiction, its not pretty. I will also share with my kids this bout. I want them to know that they will make choices on their own. I will always love them, just as I do my father. But I will not follow that path. I will share with them that I do not blame my parents, I blame the illness, the lack of knowledge about how to work through the illness, I blame the lack of will.
On the outside you would never have known my family was sick. That we had secrets to keep. That the secrets were killing our family and little bits of our souls. In the end…I turned out to be a stronger, knowledgeable, more compassionate and empathetic person with the drive stronger than anything a human can describe, and a will and spirit that will never be broken.
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Making Exceptions with Kids

While reading a great post by Kristin I was totally motivated to write this post.

 

My inspiration was by her stating,
“You may see a graphic of a mom and some children but where is the mothering? The only time I ever see their children are in pictures and brief statements on their blogs or in the reviews they love to complain about. The blogs I like to read are blogs that have some insight on human compassion.” (Kristin @ Our Ordinary Life, Aug. 4, 2009) Later I also read a post that REALLY struck a chord for this post. Go check her out.
AMAZING woman.
These posts hit me because I know I personally like to bring out my compassion not only as a mom but as a woman. So this post is really wanting to hear feedback because this is a very delicate subject matter.
When DH and I were trying to conceive we finally reached a point where we agreed that we would adopt. Conception at the time was NOT happening for us and so we thought we would open our heart and homes to a child in need. A child that needed a family because one was unavailable due to some other mitigating circumstances. However, we successfully conceived many times over now. Some heartbreaking losses and three magnificent successes! But we me occasionally get the itch for another child. While I personally do not think I could sanely raise another child, I do know I can do it with all my heart and love. So adoption is definitely a possibility for us in our future.
Adoption also brings me to this scenario that has come into our home. Big G has a great little friend, a neighbor friend to be exact and they are roughly the same age. His friend we found from him parents not long ago is that he is adopted. Had no idea. Really none of my business, but interesting. We shared our stories of conception and her inability to carry full term as she would risk her own life and could not become a martyr to a child. In which I agree. I don’t think you can be a successful mom if you are dead before the child enters the world or shortly after their entrance. She chose to adopt which I support with every ounce of my being. She treats her son no different than any other child, she loves him unconditionally, cares for him as if she bore him in her womb, and makes no exceptions to his unspoken status that he is their legally adopted son, she treats him as she would her own flesh and blood.
I beg the question then why do parents make exceptions for children? Why do they treat them differently? Adopted or not? Different living conditions or not? I believe each child should be treated based on his or her needs, but not because of their situation. For example I have two sons and a daughter. My sons and my daughter will have different needs, clearly because of their gender. When the boys start bitching about my daughter getting a bra…..I will supply them with jock straps. Argument closed. But I do not favor or treat my daughter any more special or differently than I do the boys, vice verse, the boys are not treated any differently than my daughter. I love them all just the same. Exactly the same. My relationships with them may be different based on their needs, but that is because I am giving them what THEY need.
So why make exceptions?
My scenario is based on an incident yesterday with Big G’s friend. They were playing as all boys do, rambunctious, disorderly, super hero, arms flailing, screaming, gun slinging boys. At one point all was quiet. I figured, Okay, they are playing Lego’s….I can find peace.
WRONG
I happened upon a catastrophic mess of out of this world proportions from Big G and his friend. Now I may have exaggerated, but definitely THE LARGEST mess I have EVER cleaned of G’s. The boys had decided to half disassemble the closet, pulling down shelves and rods, emptying shelves, and wedging the closet door so inoperable.
I. About. Had. A. Conniption.
I kept my cool. I voiced my disdain for their behavior, for the mess. Both of them. Both guilty, both at fault. Did I also mention the 100+ Hot Wheels cars strewn all over the floor that the sea of metal prevented you from seeing the carpet? Yeah. So I disciplined the boys. I made them clean the mess. I told them that the mess was unacceptable, they both had to clean. That this type of situation does not go on in this house. Make a mess is one thing, to destroy is another. DH was involved in this situation as well. We were both disciplining to show a united front. When the neighbor friend was receiving his dose he started to wedge himself between the wall and the open door as to hide and stated he was “scared and afraid.” Now my first reaction was to twirl my head and see what exactly was going on.
I listened and realized the boy was playing DH. He was trying to weasel out of the responsibility of taking ownership for his actions. So my Bullshit sensor went off, I smelled it too. But the mom part of me wondered if maybe this was a product of his previous environments in foster homes, in foster care. DH backed off and was almost consoling to the boy, in which he got his way and proceeded to no longer clean but to mill about. All the while I was cursing profane thoughts in my head keeping from screaming whistling like a boiling tea kettle.
His mom came to pick him up shortly after the ordeal as she was returning home and offered to swing by. DH met her at the door and kindly and disarmingly explained the situation. I walked up and laughed about how I was ready to lose my mind. Mom to mom, we were on the level with each other. We are no bullshit types of moms where we are loving and kind, but not afraid to assert ourselves. We also explained the “scared” incident to which she confirmed my beliefs that he does that at home, tells her that too to get out of the situation. Laughingly I agreed that you should be scared of having to pay for consequences of unacceptable actions. She wholeheartedly agreed.
However, I still wondered. DH and I debated the situation again about disarming a child who claimed “fear” in the presence of an assertive discipline. We did not raise our voices, we did not yell, we did not threaten, hit, we voiced our clear disdain and disapproval at their disorderly actions.
What would you do? Would you have reacted the same by disarming and almost consoling or would you continue on saying “No one here will hurt you, we are telling you that this type of behavior and actions are unacceptable in our home.” Because as a parent I wonder where the line may be drawn, do you make exceptions based on a child’s previous life and environment? Or do you make exceptions period? When? How? For whom? Are there mitigating circumstances?
Believe me I am a parent who is still learning. I know nothing about a lot of things and parenting is one I work on everyday. Parenting is an ever evolving job and manual.
So what would you do? What are your exceptions?

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Evolution of Woman driver

This will be my little pictorial for you…..my evolution of a woman driver. 
I hope you find this as enjoyable as I did when I tripped down memory lane….
I also totally understand now why women are recipients of grief surrounding their driving abilities. I also hope that MEN see why we evolve into such terrible drivers. We go from one extreme to the next with our vehicles. So evolving with our vehicles is a bit of a challenge.
Let us take a gander at the exhibits:
My first REAL car that DH and I bought. (I was 20 in this pic)

Little flashy? Sure. Fast? You bet! 1996 Chevy Camaro RS

Then I started working in the car business circa 1997 ish…..and guess what we got in on trade in 1999

Yup, a 1997 BMW 318ti. Cheap payment too…LOVED that car!!
But then we got engaged. We were planning a wedding….and our future…maybe some kids.
So we did the dumbest thing ever

We traded in the perfectly good BMW for an Oldsmobile.
Can you say STUPID!! Yea….
Supposedly we needed a sedan right away since we thought we might be having kids like
right away….like right after the wedding, like I would get pregnant immediately.
STUPID.
So we got tired of that hunk of metal and I was BURIED like a casket in that car. Luckily I worked in the car business so used cars were a dime a dozen and the easiest way to get out of some negative equity
and the only thing to absorb negative equity…..is another cash cow American vehicle
 

And so I bought a Mustang. I really love Mustang’s….just not that year….I was thinking a 1969 fastback. You know the one right….Steve McQueen….Bullet! Yea, thats more my style. But then I got the hankering after driving this car…..to get back into an import as I loved the fast imports.
And heck…it’s only 2002 by now so I need a new car.

VOILA!!

The Lexus IS300. My pimp daddy ride of all time. This car was fast. It was sleek. Stylish. It had all carbon fiber on the inside and a racing shifter. Leather seats. It screamed HOT mama for me. But as you can see from the pic I am clearly NOT a mama there…hot….but not a mama….and what was even more pathetic….
I thought I was FAT!
Yeah.
I was a whopping 128 ish maybe! Yeah and I thought I was fat….where? On my toes? Okay. Back to the cars and the evolution of a woman driver. Well that was 2002 ish or so and then WHAM! 
PREGO
So I had the sedan (see above) but the car seat was so not copascetic for the back seat of the Lexus…At.All.
Why not get another Lexus!!??
Oh, my SUV, yuppy, mama, pretentious bitch car. I loved that car. The soft italian tan leather.
The six disc in dash CD player.
All the creature comforts any yuppy snob would want.
Except the payment sucked ass!
And when you start staying at home with your kid…..not making any cash……the car has gotta go.
So we sold that poor girl too. I actually went without a car for about 6 months saving some cash.
Until I couldn’t take it anymore. Again, we did the most responsible thing possible.
Bought this
 
Real Smart!
Hey, at the time it was perfect. Diesel was only like $1.99 a gallon while unleaded was $2.50 or something totally crazy like that. It hauled the three of us comfortably, with all the dogs and our gear when we would travel. Big G loved it. I loved it. People got the HELL OUT of MY WAY! (loved that!)
Until.
We got pregnant…..AGAIN.

With TWINS.
 
DH was driving an Acura TL.
I brought him over to the snobby ass, drive an import luxury car dark side.
I had the big truck.
Have you seen a LARGE pregnant woman maneuver her bulbous ass in and out of a lifted four wheel drive?
Not pretty. Not easy either. 
His car wasn’t cutting it either.
So we did what all responsible drivers and car owners do……
Trade ’em in
And here is where the evolution went from one extreme to the other. Based on all previous vehicles speed was highly optional considering the performance factor of these vehicles. Or at least the fabulous aesthetics and damn nice creature features. I could rocket all over the place in each of those vehicles. I have the shoddy driving record with SEVERAL recorded and unrecorded tickets.
I actually got 4 red light camera tickets….but my plates were out of state so they went to my old address….
and damned that I didn’t live there anymore to get them in the mail with my face on it.
As I said we were responsible. Now with children numbered two and three on the way. We began shopping. We needed that vehicle to haul all three kids, especially two in infant carriers and car seats.
Lucky for Daimler Chrysler, they overhauled the look and features of their flagship vehicle in their fleet.
 
I am a damn sucker.
I swore. I promised. 
I cursed ever driving a gall dang
MINIVAN!
But I sucked it up.
I am that mom. I am that woman driver. 
I am damn proud to drive a minivan to haul all three of my kids, my fat ass dog, stroller, luggage, groceries, the husband, the trash, plywood, bikes, I can haul anything in that thing. I even have a bumper sticker….
“walk on the wild side….have twins”
They wonder why we drive like shit.
We go from driving a vehicle like Al Unser’s to driving Miss Freaking Daisy in a minivan.
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*CLOSED* 200 Custom Postcards from UPrinting: Live Giveaway!!

Let’s get the show on the road with all the goodies and deets!!
I am stoked about the 200 postcards from UPrinting because they are so versatile!
Use them for anything not just postcards.
The cards come in different sizes of your liking: 4×6, 4.25×6, 5×7″. Not to mention the quality of the cards with 14pt gloss or matte, 13 pt uncoated and Full Color on both sides (4/4).
Order them and use them for custom greeting cards or  custom postcards to share with the ones you love.
Here are the deets:
Just leave me your comment…in the form of a coherent sentence, with your email addy of course
Leave me your Tweet info in a comment
Easy Peasy Pumpkin Pie!!
The more comments you leave and the more comments you leave with your tweets the more chances you have to win! I would hate for this giveaway to go to waste!!

Enjoy, be nice, play fair! The giveaway will end tonight @ 10pm Arizona (PDT)Winner will be chosen from Random.org and posted by Midnight in this post.

WINNER

Pretty sad I can only give ONE away when I have this many entrants.
(insert sarcasm and sick humor)

Congrats Shelly!!
Your coupon codes will be emailed to you directly from UPrinting!
Thanks so much ladies for entering.
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Awe Chuck It

Has everything become disposable?
Is everything so expendable that we can just chuck it, toss it, throw it away?
Do manufacturers make anything that last for ages anymore, or has everything become part of our throw away society? Awe to hell with it, chuck it.
Awe, it’s got a stain….it won’t turn on…..it isn’t touched anymore.
Do these sound familiar in your home? They did in mine.

 

I have a hard time throwing out something that is perfectly fine, that could use a screw driver, or maybe a hammer to the side of it (like my garbage disposal when it stopped working). Diapers I even have a hard time with buying disposable, but unfortunately a diaper service for the cloth diapers is out of the the budget at the moment. I cannot throw away toys….not purposely…Lego’s in the vacuum don’t count. I have a hard time with throwing away ruined clothes, dishes, anything that is of use.

 

More and more our society is filling landfills, sides of the road, you name it, with STUFF that could be used, re-used, recycled, refurbished, overhauled, donated, you name a use and something could be reused.

 

T-shirts – make great rags for dusting, painting, cleaning. If you sew a button on a small swatch you can use it as a scrubber for your dishes to really dig into the grime, plus you can wash it and reuse it again. Jeans – make them into shorts, or cut them up to make patches for your kids jeans. Or donate! Jeans never go out of style. Old sheets – valances, pillow cases, table linens or even decorative napkins when pressed, just cut and use some sew tape if you are not domestically inclined or if you are….bust out the sewing machine.
A million things in your home can be reused for the simplest things that you don’t have to go out and buy new or replace. But some things inevitably do need to be replaced, however, others don’t but households toss them because the items become aesthetically unappealing (like sun faded toys) or they want the newest edition.
My toys….all sun faded. Part of living in the desert with 100 degree weather four months out of the year and if we are lucky a week a year of rain. But those toys don’t work any less because they are sun faded. They are not brittle or unsafe, just kinda ugly. My kids still play with them just the same and when they grow out of them I might sell them for dirt cheap at a garage sale for other children to enjoy. Or heck, donate them to a women’s shelter or the Big Brothers Big Sisters Foundation.
So what do you decide to keep or save? Are you a “chuck it” or keep it person?
What items do you reuse in your home? What are some keepers?
What are the chuckers?