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Multiple Question…..and Multiple Answer

An outing in public with twins is always an interesting ordeal. I mean the whole thing is an urban safari with all the miscellaneous gear and crap you have to take…..ridiculous! But the best part…is having fun with those who are the poor souls who do not have multiples and have deer in the headlights when they see you and they ask you these “Here’s your sign” questions:

My all time favorite and most asked

Q: Are they twins?
A: Nope. I thought the other one in the nursery was so cute I had to take it home.

Q: Oh…..a boy and a girl?
A: Nope, my other son felt like wearing a lot of pink today with that cute bow on his head.

Q: Oh, you must have your hands full?
A: Nope…you see my entourage of help….I got it covered. (As I am looking aimlessly behind myself, like can you see that there is no one else around)

Q: Do twins run in your family?
A: Nope, hubby and I made the decision to go get a turkey baster and see how many we get.
(Yes they do….and Nun ya!)

Q: How far apart are they?
A: Um…like a minute? (WTF really?)

Q: Are they yours?
A: Nope I got them from the “Twins” outlet and thought I would stroll them around for the day and see how I liked them. (again….WTF?)

Q: Are you getting any sleep?
A: (crickets)

Q: Are they identical?
A: (crickets…do they not see the blue and pink?)
The best part about that question is that I had an “identical” twin ask me that…I about fell over.

Q: Can you tell the difference?
A: (I badly want to answer…between a moron and a smart person?) Yes

Q: Can you tell which one is crying?
A: Generally the one with their mouth open. I can tell the difference between each of their cries…that’s easy.

Q: Oh, you must be so busy?
A: Nope that is why I am running through here and you stopped my beeline…because I am soooo not busy.

Q: How do you do it?
A: (I answer honestly) I don’t know…I just do…you can’t stop and think about it.

Q: (The bold) Did you gain a lot of weight?
A: I smile, want to give the bird and walk away.

Q: Are these your first?
A: (As I am yelling at G to quit climbing on things and he responds telling me ‘No Momma’) I smile

Q: Are you done?
A: Um…yeah like two kids ago I was done.

Q: Are they good?
A: Dunno…haven’t thrown them on the grill yet. Oh you mean the kids……

Last but not least….my all all time high and favorite thing to say to me about twins and so not an original…………………………………………………………………………….

I’M SURE GLAD IT IS YOU AND NOT ME.

With that I want to say a big F*#% You and have a great day! I was told that if you don’t have anything nice to say…….don’t say anything at all.

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Parents and Children

We all say it as potential parents. We say this to ward off the evil wrongs done to us by our parents. We say it in spite at times. We all say that we will treat all of our children equally and with fairness. But really? Do we?

NO!

Not one person can say that they treat all of their children with fairness and equality, unless of course you only have one child. In that case of a single child, no other children are vying for your attention, affection, and approval. If you can say you treat your children equally I stand here telling you…You are a liar! Each child, probably with some difference in age, will require different needs to be fulfilled and honestly you feel differently for each child which by human nature results in a different outward display. This is not a flaw, just a stated fact. I have viewed this behavior by my own parents.

True equality happened to me with multiples. In all seriousness. One Mommy, Two babies and they are both crying….which one do you pick up? If you pick up one the other is still crying and visibly more upset because you picked up his or her twin and vice versa. What do you do? In my case I picked up both. I breast fed both at the same time, changed them at the same time, dressed them at the same time, bathed them at the same time, spoon fed them at the same time (and I am not ambidextrous by any means), everything happened to them at the same time. Not only did this allow for some serious time management for my oldest, but allowed me to sleep and accomplish a few things.
Now the tough part will be their needs as older children since one is a boy and one is a girl. However, I also have big G to think about too. The other day was a tough one as a mother as I told him that the toys he was hiding were for the babies, he could play with the toys, but he had to play with the toys with the babies. He hated this! So I asked him if he wanted to be a baby and he told me NO. Okay, case closed, so I then explained the difference. I also made sure that I spent equal amount of time playing with him as I did the other two so that we all were spending time together. I also made sure that he got his special time alone with me just as the other two do. I have to say that being truly equal is the most time consuming, emotional experience that happens to a parent. Normal human instinct is telling you to go with the flow of the three kids and tend to the one that needs the most attention at that time….well, who dictates that? I think as parents we have been trained that way and in the end each, child is put into a role for life!

My oldest is my oldest by time, cannot deny that. However, G is not my babysitter, G is not the babies surrogate parent, G is not responsible for his siblings, G will not be put in the perfectionist spot of most oldest children. I say this knowing that my son had obvious flaws that I love, I always want him to do his best and when he gets older he will not be the automatic babysitter. If he WANTS to baby-sit he can, but he won’t be expected to. As for the twins, I will always do my damnedest to treat them as individuals but they will be loved and treated as equally as G all the time. Alrighty….enough of that heavy stuff….off to a fun rant of sorts.

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Mommy Free Time

I have some Mommy Free Time all day today and probably some of tomorrow or could be all day tomorrow…..Film at Eleven. (Happy Dance!)

My boys (DH and G) are in Albuquerque for the next few days. Chad has some business there so he is visiting customers and staying with his folks. Yesterday he decided that maybe he should take Grant so that he could see his cousins and have a mini-vacation from me. Though I think the mini-vacation (mini-stay-cation) is for me. Don’t get me wrong….I love my G dearly, he is my oldest, but man…..sometimes you need a break from your kids. So they headed off onto the open road and made it to Albuquerque late last night.

I, on the other hand enjoyed a night with just the twins. Not total free time….but guess what? THE TWINS CAN’T TALK!!! Or change channels, or bitch, or moan, or tell me to shut-up, or tell me no, just cry and whine because they are babies. So refreshing! The squids and I got dinner last night, watched the debates which were pathetic…..like watching a couple of teenage girls fight about gossip, did a few little projects, got all the laundry done, all the dishes are DONE, did some mending of clothes and odds and ends. Needless to say I had a quiet, productive evening! Not to mention I have NO laundry to do except the clothes on my back and the squids and the only dirty dish in the house is my coffee mug. PLUS!!!! I have a hair appointment today and my wonderful Mommy is coming to spend time with the Squids and I get girly pamper time. Loving my day! But tomorrow I am sure I will miss the boys terribly and hope they come home…..but for now…..I can take a nice deep relaxing breath!!

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Technological Lust!!

Okay…..so here is my NEW object that I am totally in lust with and for the ladies…..it vibrates!!

I have to say I just think that this thing is the coolest and I have been playing with it since the Fed Ex man left me with it. Now I can tell Chad…yes, the Fed Ex man has given me love….my phone! By the way…this cool new phone has unlimited text for my text happy family, and it was part of my 2yr upgrade so I paid a whopping……..are you ready for it????
$29.99
I know you are jealous right? LOL Anyway, just had to share my love of my new phone that I can text to my heart’s desire now too!
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I blame Brittany

So my beautiful and goober sister did this and I am so addicted to these little things so here goes:

Place to Visit (Tokyo)


Favorite Place

Past Pet

My Age (yikes)

Maiden Name

Bad Habit



Where I was born (Scottsdale, AZ)



Favorite Color

Favorite Food
Favorite Object
My Name
Favorite Animal
My Degree
My First Job
My Favorite Smells (I have to smell everything)
What I am doing right now
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Why I love AZ

Yesterday was so awesome. I woke up to my husband and three beautiful kids and to top the whole day off…….I got to open all my windows in the house and my back door. I think the high for yesterday was in the 70s and the day was absolutely fabulous! We went on our evening walk and I had to bundle up all the kids in sweaters and hoodies and Chad and I put light sweaters on because the wind was blowing and the night air was a bit chilly. However, you know you live in AZ when you are wearing a sweater, shorts and flip flops.

Then this morning I woke up to a bit of a chill in my house. I figured because the AC had just run not too long ago. WRONG! The thermostat said 68* and the thermometer outside my kitchen window said 50*. FABULOUS!!! I actually had to put a robe on this morning. More beautiful days to come as we head into the AZ winter. I love it here because 1) NO SNOW (Love the snow, very pretty…..but hate living where there is snow and bitter cold) and 2) 70* November and December’s rock.

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All about a bargain and some comedy

Shopping is always an adventure for me. Not only because I have three kids….that is a task I tell you. But because I have twins and for some awful reason I have tattooed on my head:

INVADE HER PRIVACY! ASK ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS AND BE RUDE ABOUT IT!

Yes I get all the dumb twins questions along with the questions that make me ask….”Do I also have I am a dumb and or retarded Mom?” tattooed on my head. I mean I know I had kids…but come on now. So after many stops of “Oh! Are they twins?” I finally have resorted to answering, “No….I liked the little girl so much I stole her since I was sick of this many boys” Thank goodness no one hears what I say since the majority that ask this question need the assistance of a hearing device. So I kindly nod my head like that bobble toy on your dash.
Okay so back to shopping. The kids and I visited Goodwill as I love Goodwill. I think thrift and secondhand stores are awesome for all the treasures, the baby clothes that are awesome and the jeans! I mean come on….jeans should never be donated they are timeless. So there we are shopping and finding all sorts of FABULOUS bargains when this woman approaches me. I am not one to judge, but she screamed DUMB ASS! Here is what fell out of her mouth to me:

(bad accent of some sorts, southern in nature) Oh look……a baby. Oh look, two babies….hmmmm….they ain’t twins are they? They sure as much do not look like each other….they can’t be twins….well….. I guess since one is a boy and one is a girl. Are they yours? Hmmm…..so these are your only children huh? Amazing what technology can do?

I smiled. If you know me you know I had to refrain from slapping the old hag. So I said ever so politely, “Yes they are twins, they do look like each other even for being opposite sex. And, if your curiosity is killing you that much twins run in my family.”
All I could do was smile and laugh…YIKES!

So then while Grant and I were together looking at some items he makes this utterly random comment to me:

“Mama, I don’t want a shiny pee pee.”

Yup just like that. I about wet my pants and then looked at him like WTF are you talking about? Who is shining your wanker that we need to be worrying about it. So I asked my boy so lovingly:

“Grant-baby what do you mean you don’t want a shiny pee pee?”

“You know Mama….shiny boots, shiny chest, helmet with a feather….I don’t want the shiny pee pee and everything else is shiny.”

Okay….so the knight costumer he has hounded me about has gained more detail. No shiny pee pee. Alrighty. But everything else in the knight costume must be shiny. Got it.

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The Twin Side of Life

So we all know twins are tough:

Double feedings
Double Diaper Changes
Double the Crying
Double the Trouble

DOUBLE EVERYTHING!!

But on top of that is getting to the double everything. What everyone, including myself, seems to forget is how fragile a pregnancy can be, let alone a twin pregnancy. A twin pregnancy is double the eating, double the worrying, double the “take it easy”. Some things however are even more double. Twins are like this: di-zygotic and mono-zygotic….I know I lost you. But to a MOM (Mother of Multiples) you know exactly what I am talking about and the difference this makes to your twins. My kids were di-zygotic in that they each had their own pod and their own placenta, where my previous twins that Chad and I lost in 2005 were mono-zygotic where they shared the same pod and probably the same placenta and they were transfusing blood to one another. This sucks!
So on the other side of twin life, when we heard our friends Mr. and Mrs. Jason Palmer were having twins we both laughed in joy (since they told us we were screwed and we laughed at their karma). But our joy has now turned to concern and unstoppable and unending prayer for these two folks who told us that their twins are mono-zygotic (and probably 99% identical). On Tuesday, Jason (a dear friend of Chad’s who he worked with @ Smith) told us that Baby B isn’t looking so good by the ultrasound and that they had two options:
1. Take it week by week to see how he does and then take them out at Week 28 to save them
2. Clamp off Baby B to save Baby A.

As a parent you know that you cannot choose one child over another and that you would gladly take their place. For these folks, they are in an awful waiting game and told Chad:

“There is really nothing we can do.”

I beg to differ! I am asking any and all of you who read this blog to please say a prayer for Jason and his wife, that their twins beat the doctors prognosis and that they get to enjoy these two beautiful gifts that they have been given, that all will be alright, and then they get to complain to us all that Chad and I know as parents of multiples.

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Graduation

So I checked out how many weeks I have left after I finish all my retarded elective classes…..as taking them online is so much easier than visiting the campus with 3 kids and no time for anything….not even sleep!

I will officially BE DONE with school and my Bachelor of Science in Business Finance in roughly September of 2009!! ONE YEAR LEFT!!! Hooray!!! Then I can do commencement ceremonies the following spring at the new stadium! HOORAY!!!

Then I sit around and do nothing. Yup, I will be an over educated stay at home Mom until the twins go to school. From there….I go back to work…use my expensive ass degree to pay off my student loans and then…..maybe…… conquer the LSAT’s and apply to the Sandra Day O’Connor School of Law…..but…..we’ll see. I will just be happy to have my degree’s all finished up…and a JD would be nice….since that has always been my goal….to argue and get paid for it.