Knives and Friendship

I had a set of knives gifted to me back in December 2016. For the past 18 months I struggled with these knives in my kitchen, I never had the right sharpness for what I was looking to accomplish in my culinary adventures. Constantly working against me, I would sharpen the knife, always giving the knife another shot that if I sharpened it just right and used what was provided (the honing steel) that maybe it would get the job done. I took great lengths to care for these knives, and hated to get rid of them, but one day I decided time to rid myself of the emotional upset of these knives and bought my very own set of Cutco knives. What never occurred to me was the metaphor of knives and friendship. Continue reading “Knives and Friendship”

The Truth is The Truth Hurts

truth hurts

Over this past weekend The Chad and I were talking truths. I am a huge fan of truth; speaking it, telling it, hearing it. Naturally we were discussing my uncanny ability to always tell the truth. My super power has a tendency to offend people. As we were hashing the details of past events of my truth talk, a certain person who has been offended, not only by my truth but my ability to only offer empathy, came up in our conversation. The person(s) has a tendency to wear Post-It notes of dubiousness, yellow stickies they are unaware of themselves, that scream out insecurities. I asked The Chad the truth about whether or not I have these same yellow notes, just as a matter of self-inflection. Continue reading “The Truth is The Truth Hurts”

Emotional Investments

Emotional Investment, investing in relationships, meaning of names, name meaning

I began this post a year ago to the day. The genesis came from a call to my brother after visiting my Dad; at that moment my brother was on my mind and I wanted to say hello to him. I felt in my heart to reach out to my brother based on a chapter in his life, a chapter I had once visited and today find myself still in the process of writing. On our call he mentioned that he was short of calling me at the same moment as he received a package I sent him along with my handwritten letter. We laughed at the fact people never write letters anymore, just emails. I rather enjoy the catharsis in writing letters, something very intimate about pen to paper. Call the letter an emotional investment of time, efforts, love. Continue reading “Emotional Investments”

Where Does the Time Go

Time, loss of time, where did the time go

For the last few weeks finding time to write has been such a struggle. I have been on a tremendous journey since the first of January when I made a life changing decision about my health. My decision was not light and one that has been taxing into my personal time and has really challenged me with how I manage my professional and family time. In addition, my family suffered a great tragedy with the loss of my grandfather, my mother’s father. Needless to say I have been preoccupied and saddened that I cannot share my joy for writing about my family and sharing all the goodies of going toxin free. Amazing how we can fill our lives with so much busyness that we wonder where the time goes. Continue reading “Where Does the Time Go”

Obligatory Family

siblings, summer fun, kids camping

Late year holidays are always my favorite time of year, Thanksgiving, Christmas; I am giddy with child-like excitement for family, fellowship and togetherness. Adult life, however, exposes the harsh reality of the holiday season, family dynamics and beautiful let downs. Togetherness with family is not always about togetherness, connection, love; the events lack joy, communion and are more of a collective obligatory duty. Continue reading “Obligatory Family”

The Whole Ball Game?

choices, life choices, choices in life, write your story, the whole ball game

Funny how life can throw curve balls, grinders, heaters and the occasional wild pitch that make us double over in horrific shock. What I find amazing is how MLB players never consider the whole ball game in one pitch or one season, but a series of seasons. If you are a die hard Cubs fan you know this reality, still chasing the pennant, still cheering from the stands, joyous spirits flying high in the bleachers whether at Spring training or regular season at Wrigley. Somehow our fanaticism and forgiveness for our baseball teams never seem to carry over to our personal lives or those with whom we interact. Suddenly the story of their life is the whole ball game as opposed to a series of seasons. Continue reading “The Whole Ball Game?”

Unapologetic me

One morning I sat in my Jeep and sobbed, I sobbed until nothing was left as I gasped for air and felt like my chest was being wrung by a medieval rack. Emotions completely dislocated from my body and exhausted from the torment. That is the day I realized how much I hated apologies. I found myself retching in oppression because I could no longer be unapologetic. I struggled to just be myself.

The Chad watched me as I sobbed, helpless to carry my burden. The burden of sheer and total brokenness. The girl with an untamed spirit. The blond haired girl with wild ideas of making the world a better place, snake bitten wit and selflessness only assigned to saints. All broken. Continue reading “Unapologetic me”