The gray area. In the middle. Some where between here and there. The blend of this and that, I have found is the truth. For years I have been in the professional realm, not the “online mommy professional” realm, but in the trenches. Working for Fortune 500 organizations, small businesses, myself, dealing with hundreds if not thousands of people and even with dealing with people on a personal level I have found that in between the stated fact of someone’s word and the stated fact of bold evidence is the truth.
I threw out the jab of “online mommy” because during my heavy stint as a stay at home mom and involving myself in “mommy blogging” (gagging on the loosely use words) I found out how you can get sucked into some world that really has no meaning, really does not exist outside in the big bad world called real life.
I befriended many good-hearted, honest, genuine women. I even went as far as to befriend other women who were not so honest, because I feel there is good in everyone. But I took my loyalty too far in believing what one side was always saying and not gathering the input and point of view from the other party. By getting involved in such an ignorant fashion I opened myself up for some nasty attacks. A Twitter account attacked me in a weak attempt to break me down, to get to me, gossip was had.
I can look back now and say “What the fuck?!” How did I let myself get so wrapped up. What I found is that each person has their own perception, reality, and point of view.
Openly I can admit I was wrong in so many ways. Openly I can say that I let myself get involved in high school petty games and gossip of little girls who tramped around online acting like they were untouchables. Quite frankly some still do…I openly laugh at them now. In fact some involve their “spouses” which in my opinion make them look even more ignorant (because I need to sugar coat and not state they are total dumbshits…oh wait…too late).
What I will say is that people who are wrong will argue with you. People who are in the wrong will continue to play the victim, act like the victim, and they are always on the defense in order to protect their own ass. From there they continue to lie in order to protect the lies…no, no I mean the half-truths. And then add “friends” who begin to choose sides.
I like being Swiss. I said I was Swiss before, trying not to get involved. But now I am not involved at all, I watch from the outside, as an outsider. From the outside you can look in and find the truth in the space between the two claimed truths. I am happy to apply this to my children as well, that while I believe what they are telling me, my intuition always tells me there is more.
Do you listen to your intuition or do you listen word for word what people say? Can you believe their verbal vomit where they leave you to clean up the mess?
15 Replies to “The Space Between”
I went through much the same thing toward the end of last year. I found myself again – and I realized that I missed being ME. Now, I’m in that spot where I like myself for who I am, what I do and what I say.
Sky, that is so powerful for women and bloggers. To just say whatever you want and have your own opinion. I have found that in the realm of mommy blogging women are eager to choose sides like warring factions. What reason and why? If you don’t like what someone has to say fine…but no need to bash them or talk shit. Just agree to disagree and move on.
I miss you! I know I’m naught I can’t resist. I do try but then it gets the best of me but I really enjoyed being your friend both good and bad.
I think sometimes we need a little something to entertain ourselves and we let things get the best of us. You are not wrong in your post.
Joie!!! I adore you sweet cheeks. You know what we all have those moments where our inner green monster of wrath comes out, but who doesn’t. I never have claimed to be perfect which is why I put that I am little miss perfect…its a jab at myself to say “welcome to the harsh reality” of imperfection.
We have had WAY too much fun and it was all good. Love it. Love you good lady!
Yep, I know what you mean. There are very few women online that I talk to often and call friends. I will continue to be myself online. I don’t like to participate in negativity. Mainly because I don’t truly know the women and don’t know if what they are saying is true. If someone was daring enough to take you on though, they must think that they have a set of iron balls in their pretty panties!
I just thoroughly enjoyed you typing verbal vomit. Does that count?
I effing love you Rose!! LOVE YOU!!
I like being like cheese, too. I try to ignore everything and just do my thing! I’m me and that’s all!
I have been in the middle of the same chaos for years, 5 years to be exact. Some may say what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger, but I have learned a lot about who I am. I am important and that is all that matters. I ignore the pettiness. I was told that if I ignored it, it would go away. Whoever made up that statement is a crock of crap. I ignore it, even though it still exists. It simply makes me see all the reality around me. (my real friends, my real thoughts, my real self)
You know what Tanya, I am happy to say that we hashed a lot out. I think people get all freaked out online and there is too much cattiness and competition for absolutely nothing. Honestly, going back to work was THE BEST for me because I found who I was again and I am not the person that was being portrayed online. I have always loved myself, if I am not happy with something I change it, PERIOD! So I did and people freaked out. Oh well, all you can control is yourself. xoxo
I am so many shades of confused right now.
I like ya cause ya call it as you see it. Period.
And it warms my soul to see MommyGoggles up there.
Miss ya Ms. Fish!
I think, from my own experiences, that it’s always harder (sometimes more fun) to ignore the intuition. And you know me, I like to deal with things the hard way. BUT that still doesn’t mean that often it’s a good thing to step back and gain a new perspective 🙂
I try to stay out of it all – for my own sanity! Honestly, I just don’t have the time. I try to like everyone – why the hell not ya know? There are so many wonderful people out there, I try to just stick around the nice ones : )
How the hell are you Mrs. Fish? How’s The Chad???