Take What You Need and Walk Away

In the dark side of light I was philosophical. I was, truly gnawing, chewing, digesting, spitting up and in my own smitten, selfish way, smiling at the awful incident. One that I thought might have pushed me to my outer edges of passionate, top end emotions.

Jogging in the cold, whipping air, in the twinkles of the cosmos I saw her, the flash, the defeat, the mourning. What was so special about her to cause me to feel the pain, to cry and half throw a fit over the casualty? The damage was done, I made attempts to repair, The Chad came in and made attempts to repair, we walked away, we let the situation simmer.

I was struck, like lightning with my epiphany about how the damage happened, about accepting that I could not mend what I could truly explain as wrecked. Destroyed. Obliterated. I did what any other person would do after digesting such an event.

Call Dell.

My poor hard drive crashed and I realized I felt so much pain for this. I was upset, emotionally tearful for my computer. WHY? I was asking myself and fighting with the situation, “Why are you crying? It’s a machine!” But the machine held a LOT of others secrets, information, it held parts of me, lots of good parts of me. I had come to think I had a “relation” of sorts with my computer. You see she saw me through last year…from beginning to end, so when she crashed I felt myself crash with her.

But I saw this brilliance. On my jog. I saw why I was mourning my hard drive. Crazy as the thought may sound. I was mourning a relationship that was damaged beyond all repair. I could not fix it, there was no reason, shit. just. happened! My brilliance was that hard drives are so much like people, relationships, relations. They crash, for no reason, totally unexpected, and the only thing you can do is make an honest attempt to repair. I F2’ed, I F12’ed, I F8’ed until I finally said F it and accepted the crash.

What helped me to accept the crash was The Chad. Telling me, “these things happen, hard drives crash, they are man made, they spin around and they just break.” That is what hit me on my jog. My dark side of light, to see that people we have in our lives spin around and around, they have a purpose, they offer us something, we reciprocate, and sometimes they crash because they have spun themselves out in an unhealthy way.

The crash is the hardest. I realized that I have had crashes, we all have crashes. But coming to the realization. that continuing to work on something that spun itself into a cosmic oblivion of nothingness, is toxic and is the first step to acceptance, to moving on. I found so much relief to know that what I needed from my hard drive could be salvaged via an external box. I will leave the technical mumbo out. By understanding that certain snips and scraps if not everything but the OLD operating system could be saved, I realized that in myself. I was salvaging from these crashes everything but the old operating system, I was evolving. I was letting go.

My hard drives have crashed with other people, I made every attempt to repair (including myself) and saw that I was not in repair but that those who I thought needed the mend were crashed. They are gone, they brought nothing else to a life, my life, anyone’s life. They are broken, NO ONE, not even their own repair system could fix them. I came to see that sometimes we have to accept things, people, relationships, crash and are broken, but if we can try to revive after the crash walking away with what really matters, taking the vital shards of what was scathed that we can move on. We can learn, we can eliminate the garbage, that what might have spun us into oblivion. Walking away taking pride, love, self respect, courage, honesty, justice, patience, forgiveness, to name a few and above else walking away with wisdom showed me that the damage really was not all that devastating. I walked away with A LOT!

Mourning was quick. I found that the drawn out mourning of a relationship was more of guilt. The Monday morning quarterback as I like to call it, “shoulda, coulda, woulda’,” or the face you feel some neglect, that you could have done more and I didn’t do that. I laughed. I laughed and smiled and felt such a relief that so much was gone that really was petty. I was starting new in a sense, only that much smarter, that much wiser, and that much lighter by not having that spinning hard drive, the constant spinning of toxic people in my life. So we have to look at when a crash happens, do we want to salvage the WHOLE drive or do we want to salvage just the parts that matter? Our own parts, our own operations, or do we want the supporting systems that really are the most vital?

After you repair do you ignore the crash or do you take away what you need, still remembering the fragility of man and that sometimes things, people, relationships crash. All we can do is call in our support, accept, move on and grow; grow up and away from that which was damaging. A new year, a new hard drive, new lessons.

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Extraordinary Tuesdays: Two For Tuesday

Welcome to “Two For Tuesday” a post every Tuesday for us Extraordinary Mothers (over @ Extraordinary Mothers) on how we deal and cope with motherhood, the pains, angst’s, joys, and triumphs. I am Karie of The Five Fish and as a mother of twins and a singleton I know all too well the “two” sides to each coin, our children and ourselves and how to find answers and balance.

Happy New Year. Another year, another opportunity to start fresh right? I read today on a friend’s blog about how each new year is not a fresh start but yet a continuation of the chapters of our book. She could not be more true with her words. Wiping our slate clean would only suggest that we did not learn from the events of the previous year, day, and months. A new slate also means we are starting at the bottom, new, fresh, no ground work already laid, which makes annual goals that much more unattainable.

How many of you have already made annual resolutions? Lose weight? Quit smoking? Quit cursing? Join a gym, club, church, whatever the case may be. How about any family goals? Any goals and resolutions for the year that mean the entire family? Everyone pitches in, everyone is involved, including the kids towards family goals and resolutions. No family goals? Why not?

Crazy as the idea may sound a family goal creates a healthy foundation for children to set realistic goals, for us as parents to set realistic goals, and everyone is involved which promotes the overall family structure. A starting family goal could be to agree to family dinners each night and maybe everyone takes turns making the meal, setting the table, or cleaning up afterward. A goal to create a stronger family unit. A goal to spend more quality time together. Even the goal of taking a family vacation even if just a stay-cation.

The goal could be anything as a family, anything promoting togetherness and individuality within the family unit. Goals are great fun as long as they are realistic, attainable, and best of all when they’re fun and yield results. So this year when making some resolutions, goals, look at a way to include the family, have some fun with it, encourage the kids and the entire family to think of some great resolutions and goals that everyone can partake. Because each new year that passes is not a clean slate, but another chapter of life.

What will you write in your chapter this year? What kind of family goals can you make? Will make?

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Growing Up is Hard to Do

After posting my New Year’s montage the comments from you, my readers, triggered a whirlwind of thoughts. One comment specifically from my friend over @ A Nut In a Nutshell mentioned how I appeared to be a bit of a party girl.

I used to be.

I used to party every night I could from the time I had my own car in high school until….well I grew up. Until sometime in my 20s I found that partying and going to the bars and dealing with all that minutiae was just that. CRAP. A load of bullshit and really, what was the point? What point was there to hitting the bar and drinking until buzzed or partially intoxicated? Fun?! What was so fun about making an ass of oneself? What was so fun about chugging water and taking B12 the following day, possibly even a Bloody Mary for a taste of the hair of the dog that bit you.

But I got over it. I got over the need to sow any wild oats, I got tired of the wasteful spending on alcohol, the running amok and doing what I wanted got old. Real. Fast. Why? Because from 18-25 I got to be me. I had the opportunity to evaluate crucial moments in my life, I lived, I effed up, A LOT, I learned, I was me, for me, and only me. What people don’t realize is how much really truly happens in the pivotal age range of 18-25:

  • Graduate High school and move out
  • Go to College, live on your own, maybe with roommates
  • Work first REAL job, maybe while attending college
  • Meet life long friends, or continue friendships forged previous to high school
  • Graduate college
  • Obtain first REAL job with college credentials
  • Gain life experience
  • Possibly buy first car, open first credit card, maybe buy a house
  • Do the walk of shame (maybe more than once)
  • Get arrested
  • Avoid getting arrested
  • Get married
  • Figure out what you are going to do with your life (generally at age 20 this comes to mind)
  • Figure out what you are going to be when you grow up
  • Meet a future spouse, or get engaged

As you can see a general and brief smorgasbord of events happen from the time you age from 18-25. However, some people never experience these events and the reason why is their life choices which makes their growing up experience much more different. Because their experiences will vary so greatly, their experiences during the pivotal age range will shape their adulthood beyond age 25. Even one (possibly two) bad decisions will transform your life.

The Chad was a wise young man when he shared these facts with me. He was maybe, at best, cresting 25 himself when he shared the fact of growing up to me when I was barely cresting 20. By the time I was 20 I had done almost everything stated above….except get married, figure out what I want to be when I grow up, have kids, I mean I was still a kid myself.

During the time of 18-25 you figure yourself out as a person. A singular person. No longer are you a child in your parents home. No longer are you a student in an “elementary” school, requiring your attendance. You are an adult. A singular being deciphering the game of life, day by day, moment by moment. Curfew is something for kids who “live at home” or at best “Minors” for the sake of calling a legal adult an adult. More time is spent with your friends in a non-parental defying manner. Responsibility is learned, respect, self-respect, boundaries, self-awareness, quite literally you become a person you never thought you knew you could be, were or are. All the while the only responsibility you had…was to yourself. No one else, not to your parents, just yourself, and self-discipline was actualized.

But some do not evolve in this same manner. They missed the polar age range of evolution into albeit adulthood. Because once you crown your late 20s and truly are a “20 something” finally certain life aspects begin to click, the biological clock begins to tick for some, the desire to settle down, the want to be more in life, want more out of life, the realization of some form of deprivation exists in your life. Some desired affirmations:

I want to get married
I want to have children
I want to buy a house, a Lexus, furniture
I want to remodel
I want to be and do more

You begin to sound and act like your parents in a sense. The way they might have acted before having children. The standard progression into “adulthood” if I may. I look back at my pictures that The Chad and I took and we did A LOT. We traveled, we partied (a LOT because we had the means), we bought lots of luxury cars before I was even old enough to receive the late 20s auto insurance discount, I bought a house, got credit cards that were maxed and paid off a lot, and shortly before I turned 25 I realized I wanted more.

So in my time frame I did a lot, I learned A LOT, I cried a lot, cursed growing up, was frustrated, pissed, confused, lost and found, but most of all I had fun. I had fun figuring out what the hell I was doing, where I was going, who I wanted to be, what I wanted out of life. I realized what I was and was not ready for, what I could and could not handle, the events that needed time and the events that needed to be put on hold. More so, I saw those who missed out. People who missed the 18-25 bus and did not get the chance to fail and succeed, live and learn, be an individual without anyone or anything tying them down, they missed out on being an “adult” and figuring out how to grow up. I found that I truly grew up, that my late teens and my earliest 20s were for fun. My mid-20s I started to have everything click, my late 20s I truly settled down. I had a son by this time, we bought another house, celebrated some wedding anniversaries, fell down and picked ourselves back up again. I am lucky I had my late teens and early 20s to figure life out by myself, no tie downs, no responsibility except to myself, no boundaries except my own, just me, by myself.

Now moving well into my 30s I can look back and laugh. I can enjoy my life of what I did, some of the mistakes I made and definitely learned from, the choice to marry when I did, have kids when I did, to look at the life I was leading and the life I wanted to lead. I grew up. I am still growing up. But now I can admit I know a lot of nothing, where before I thought I knew everything. I can also look back and know I have NO REGRETS. If I regretted any decisions I made, didn’t make, should have made, I would not be where I am today. What were your choices? Where are you in your life? Are you still figuring life out?

Here is a beautifully written post by my friend Jenine. You know her as Badger Momma, absolutely breath taking the way 18-25 can shape your life in one way or another.

Priceless Gifts

Our family has a tradition of spending Christmas Eve with The Hudson side of my family (father’s side) while Christmas Day was generally reserved for my mother’s family. Especially since my parents divorced over 20 years ago Christmases continued on in this fashion, even after we grew up Christmases and the eve was spent much this way, however, with a few variations due to the fact I lived in another state and now had additional family to accommodate with being with The Chad.
This year was like any Christmas Eve, making the trek to the southern part of Arizona to spend Christmas Eve with my grandparent’s. But this year was ever so bittersweet and meant so much more since the passing of my grandfather in October. I still have a hard time with the fact he is gone…probably because he is not and never will be gone from my heart and the many memories I have of him and the holidays, weekends, and in between we shared together.
So upon leaving to make the drive south on I-10 I made sure to load up on wonderful goodies to share with my family. The Hudson’s have always been very near and dear to my heart, with all our trials and drama, we are nonetheless family. I bagged up my fresh black eyed peas (just need to be shucked) for my family to eat for New Year’s. If you didn’t know black eyed peas signify wealth (or coins actually) for a prosperous new year, I packaged up the ornaments Grant and I made, the baked goodies, the kids, a homemade DVD for my grandmother to enjoy, and this year I received a gift from the One2One Network which was a Tony Bennett holiday CD. While I love Tony Bennett I knew my grandmother would be even more appreciative, because she REALLY loves Tony Bennett and Christmas is her favorite holiday so these two were a winning combination for her. Thank you One2One for the gift I could share with my grandmother.
We loaded the kids and made the drive. Arriving with plenty of time to pour wine, snack on some goodies, share lots of laughs and hugs with family not seen except for (sometimes in our cases) funerals. Dinner was served, my grandmother’s traditional ham, broccoli salad, my aunt’s mustard mold (it was a beautiful mold of mustard), my other aunt’s FABULOUS potato salad, plenty of food, good family, laughs, and tears for the beautiful prayer my grandmother said in honor of the holiday and the angel missing at our table, my grandfather.
After dinner we finally got to the brass tax of things and started to open gifts. My uncle made a point to share how my grandfather was not fond of Christmas (I share his belief….as I said…he and I were of the same cloth in many ways) but he always busted his arse to make sure that enough money was made to pay for the joyous holiday, that all the kids, grand-kids, and now great-grand-kids had wonderful gifts to open. While he was absent for this year, and this year also brought many financial hardships to our family and others, the holiday was still joyous and ever special with the wonderful gifts to be opened and shared.
He could not have been more true with his words. These are the beautiful gifts received by The Chad and I from my family on Christmas Eve. Gifts to last my grandparent’s lifetime, my lifetime, and soon, the times of my children; gifts to never be replaced, exchanged, or packed away, but honored, cherished, and stories to be told of these gifts for a lifetime.
My grandmother’s Spode.
Some of these pieces are no longer available and as my grandmother shared in her card:
“Little of a little, to the girl who appreciates it all!”
My grandmother gifted me a few pieces of her Spode Christmas Tree collection to as she said “whet” my appetite for the ENTIRE collection that I will be receiving over the many years to come that she has left in this life and upon her passing I will be the recipient of the complete collection. YES. COMPLETE.
The worth is priceless in my opinion. So many Christmas holidays were spent eating and drinking with these pieces of fine china, stemware, flatware, and glassware, the wonderful memories.
All the serving pieces, china, table settings, and even pieces like the beautiful ornament that has a compartment to refill with wonderful scented potpourri.
A gift received by The Chad. My grandfather’s pocket watch.
I believe this has more strong sentimental value to me than to The Chad, though the gift did bring him to tears. My grandmother each gave a wrist watch to each of her son’s and grandson’s (my brother and half-brother) and finally an heirloom gift to “keep in the family” as she said in the card to The Chad.
A wonderful honor, priceless gift, and a beautiful memento of how truly special my grandfather and my family are to me, how special we are to them, and how special my husband is to my family.
A collage made by my Aunt Shawn, for me. I lost it. I could barely keep my composure and the only words I could get out were “You’re an asshole Shawn!” But she knew how much this means to me. How very special and cherished my family is to me, how my grandfather was like no other man in my life. The collage contains a picture of my great-grandparents (top right), my grandparents at their 50th wedding anniversary (top middle), my grandparents and their children, my aunts, uncles, father (top left), my grandfather’s memorial picture (bottom left), my grandfather’s senior picture…the handsome devil he is (bottom middle) and the picture to the bottom left is all of our family.
I was pregnant with Grant in this photo. All of my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces, EVERYONE is in that photo. Again, priceless. words could not and still cannot describe how wonderful a gift this was to receive. Even more priceless was the gift received by my aunts and uncles from my grandmother. Another honor that brought me to tears and one to be cherished by my family forever. I wrote a tribute to be shared at my grandfather’s memorial service, as did my aunt Doreen and my aunt Vicia.
Each of these tributes captured what is, was, and always will be the true essence and being of my grandfather in his life and in the next. These tributes were framed beautifully all next to one another and given as gifts to my aunts and uncles on behalf of my grandmother. A gift I was so honored to be a part of and had no idea. Here is the tribute I wrote that was the last to be shared at the memorial:

My grandfather was and still is the patriarch of the family. He is the rock, always steady and calm, weathering every storm. He was always the joker, trouble maker, story teller, shepherd of all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Watching as they all played happily, giggling, laughing, he would bask in their innocence and fun. Occasionally he would join in on the fun and games. If you ask any of his grandchildren they will tell you his was perfect, despite all of his imperfections, Grandpa could do anything. In fact many of us believed he roped and hung the moon.

I recall many holidays, family gatherings, and weekends that I would spend with Grandma and Grandpa; they are and will always be some of my fondest childhood memories. I spent a great deal of my childhood with them.

At one of their homes in Eloy, shortly after they got Brig I recall Grandpa showing us how Brig would nip at your heels. As a child this was greatly exciting and scary all the same, considering the size of Brig compared to our small childish frames. Grandpa showed us to shuffle our feet and get Brig riled up, tell us to run like hell for the stalls and jump onto the railing. He would belly laugh and cackle to watch myself and my siblings, Chris and Brittany, run as fast as we could, but his cackle grew increasingly strong as you heard the shriek of Grandma Tina yelling through the kitchen window, “Danny!!! You Stop that and tell those kids to get in this house right now!” He was so good at getting her just as riled up as the dog.

He would reach the back door after riding or being in the stall with Sonny and stamp his feet as dust came rising off his boots and jeans. You could hear her from the other room scolding him and he would giggle under his breath, as he took those boots off at the back door. Grandpa spent a lot of hours, which seemed like days to me, in those stalls. I felt like we would walk for miles with him, at the house off the highway where they lived, which was next to the stud farm. He would walk us around, talking about horses, telling us everything and how that equated to life. The man was so graceful, he was in his element around a horse, he is my cowboy and no other will ever measure up to my Grandpa. He was lean, strong, wiry, and gentle, he could be cruel and kind all at the same time, and he was like no other man I have ever met.

He could tell you all you ever wanted to know about horses. But he could also take you on his lap, sit you there for hours and tell you about horses and cars, baseball, basketball, men and women, love and life, and he always had room to talk about business, he was savvy in business. Grandpa had a story, a lesson, a passion, and an unyielding love for horses, cars, sports and life; he told me “If you don’t love what you do, then you need to do something else, love what you do, find your niche. Life is not worth living if you don’t love it, love what you do, and don’t let anyone tell you how to do it.” Grandpa had a way of always doing things his way, they made sense, they were fun, and he showed that life was to be lived for every moment, no matter how big or small, good or bad, everything had a reason.

I will always remember the way Grandpa smelled. My family has a thing with smells, I think I get that from Grandma because her house always smelled like the freshest florist or the warmest bakery, it was heaven. But I remember the rough, calloused, and gentle smell of his hands, the hint of warm, earthy, dust from his morning ride, the remnant smell of a vanilla tobacco pipe, leather from his boots, chaps, and saddle, the sweat off his Stetson, the cotton from his shirt and jeans, and the air of his cologne. Each and every time I hugged him I could smell those smells, I can still smell him to this day. I know when I recall the smell I was at home, he was home.

My relationship with my grandpa cannot be expressed, the words will not come. A dear friend of mine (who recently lost her grandfather) told me that the love and relationship between a grandfather and his eldest grandchild and granddaughter is “magical.” He truly was magical, his life, the experiences we shared, and the memories I hold dear, will always be magical.

I love you forever and always, Kare babe.

Those are the gifts that holidays and moments are made of, not the fancy electronics, the Lexus with the big red bow, the diamond pendant, none of those matter…the simple gifts of love, the time and thought are what make gifts at the holidays priceless.
What were and or are your priceless gifts? Gifts your children handmade at school or with your spouse? Maybe your parents still have gifts you made as a child? Maybe even the simple gift of conception, family love.

New Years of Old

A little montage to show you how, many a New Years have been celebrated by The Chad and I…and then with the kids.
Enjoy!
My first New Years as an adult….in a bar….still underage….and over drinking! Cantcha tell?
Looks like The Chad and his best friend have the same problem….over drinking…ha ha!
Yes the same night….same place…we were playing 3-man with some very good friends. The year we spent New Years in Temecula.
The year WE hosted New Years….and lets say that the clean up is NASTAY when you are hungover!
The year we spent New Years with my brother and sister-in-law….yes that is The Chad….kissing my sister-in-law it’s a thing he does…..good times!
Now that is true family….a couple of drunks playing chess….yes….I am drunk with my brother…who was also drunk….playing chess. We rock!
The year we decided to start remodeling the house….at New Years….with Grant….look how little he is! Probably about the twins’ age…craziness
That is a fun New Years….water guns!
At least Mom and Dad made it to the ball drop!
Happy New Years, be safe everyone!
See you all next year.

The Joy of Family

I have been blessed with a very mellow dramatic, albeit over exaggerating, PPM (poor pity me), GOOD GAWD WTF type of family. I did not choose them. In fact, I chose my family in the eighth grade, Angela Lansbury I believe was my grandmother of depiction. I would need to search out that childhood project for excellent blog fodder. Regardless, my family is highly entertaining.

The theatrics is so thick one would have to wear a parka, rain boots, goggles and maybe a helmet to avoid the depth of shit that oozes from my family. Truly a made for TV, Lifetime mini drama.

Ttoday when I finally have begun my recuperating from the holiday I receive this email…which really doesn’t set off any emotion, just highly irritating to have my precious web invaded by such a load of horse shit:

It is my humble opinion, that once a human being with even the average level in intelligence upon viewing this, does not realize how petty their resentments, attitudes, greed,pride, avarice,greivances or grudges,self importance,anger,hatred,the denying of relationships of loved ones from loved ones out of some misguided ideation of superior morality or emotional maturity, does not realize how truly unimportant , in the grand scheme of God’s directives and teachings are in comparison has no soul and has not nor will not have a life worth living.

Now that “humble opinion” is that of my overly arrogant, clueless, alcoholic, overly medicated, sperm donating, excuse for a father. Sad really. I laughed and shook my head. The email was about the cosmos and relation to size, not sweating the small stuff, yadda, yadda, yadda. Whatevs. I generally read, say to myself “Cool” take the message and move on. But that first bit of hogwash had me saying “Oh please let the level of chaos and mellow drama stop….PUH LEASE!”

My “father” if you can refer to him as such, I generally call him by his first name so for the sake of privacy I will call him PITA; PITA seems to think I harbor some sort of anger, hate, grudge, whatever the eff the man believes based on his delusions of grandeur brought on by almost 40 years of substance abuse. Seriously, he thinks I must have LOADS of energy and feeling to be wasted on pointless, energy consuming, time wasting feelings of hate, anger, and grudge. Really, those feelings would require me to have a feeling or a care or want. Of which I am void.

Why?

Because why waste and let the little things like my PITA’s transference get in the way of my life, why let him get to me because he carries these feelings himself about the pure fact he was an empty excuse for a parent.

He was a worthless excuse for a spouse….to all of his wives. Oh wait…ah yes, I forgot…it’s a conspiracy, they (the former wives…including my mother) were all out to get him. To dump on him…the alcoholic, the drug addict, the PPM syndrome. I see this a lot in my family by more than just PITA, as if everyone else looks to dump on them. OY!

I guess what I am just up in arms at myself about was the fact that I even submitted any energy to the PITA on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. WHAT.A. JOKE. I made the mistake of showing gratitude, an attitude I carry with everything in life. Yes, I am quite thankful for bad happenings too…they do have a reason. Nothing in life happens by coincidence. So yes, I was thankful for the gifts The Chad and I received from PITA and the gifts received by my children, of which 2/3rds of the gifts will probably never be used because PITA has never taken the time to get to know ME as a daughter, let alone my children. Nope. PITA told me in a text (which I love writing for this fact…the statement cannot be claimed as conjecture. Seriously people if you don’t want people to second guess you, never put your crap in writing.) Oh yes, the text:

Just so the kids know that they have a Grandpa “PITA” that love’s them & they remember if only vaguely.

Here is my deal….this almost infuriated me…more or less was annoying at the sheer ignorance, and the fact the moron took so much time to type something that clearly states his own narcissism. My kids have no idea about their Grandpa PITA. Why? He’s toxic, so I do not allow him in my life. If I do, I am ALWAYS burned, so after 31 years I finally put my foot down. Seriously, when I get an over dramatic call that I, yes ME, am to bail HIM out of jail. Uh, negative ghost rider the pattern is full….full of your shit…and you are NOT my responsibility. The call was over excited, like a teen who was just busted and wanted Mom and Dad to bail them out of the shit hole they dug themselves into. No thanks. A reason why I DO NOT associate with him. But of course I get the attitude of disdain and “I can’t believe you are doing this to me” when I say…NO and I have children, you are not one of them.

I think I heard a hallelujah.

Anyway, PITA seems more interested that my children know of HIS existence than he does of theirs; and he wonder’s why I have nothing to do with him. Oh, maybe because you did the same thing to me as a child resulting in adult issues that I had to seek therapy and healing for. ALRIGHTY THEN! So I am glad to say I love the power of IGNORE, BLOCK, JUNK MAIL, Remove Sender and all the electronic powers that be, so that I never have to see another annoying email, text, or even paper letter again. Thank you USPS for the “Return to Sender” option within the postal service.

All I can do is pray that one day, if that SHOULD ever happen (highly doubtful), he will see the importance in knowing OTHER people and not that they always know YOU! Especially when they are family. Do you have any family members like that? They thrive on self-loathing, pity, and transference? The misery loves company syndrome as well? How do you deal with toxic family?

The Problem with Politics, Religion, and Vacuum Cleaners

Sounds odd right? The politics, religion, and vacuum cleaners combination. Really though have you met anyone that refuses to back down on their personal opinion of their political stance, their staunch religious beliefs, and the fact they have the best damned vacuum cleaner ever?

I thought so.

No, each of these believes that their way is the best. The sect of religion is THE sacred path to redemption, their party is the GOP (Grand O’l Party) and again THE party. Or maybe that the Dyson they own is truly THE BEST sucker out there. Moving on.

A few weeks back I attended a workshop for stampers, they are quite literally more fanatical about stamps than scrapbook creators are about widgets and paper. The workshop was rather enjoyable especially since my Grant baby was enthralled in the Holly and Hal Moose video from Build-A-Bear and he has his own crafty projects to make.

Time passed and the small group of women tediously worked on their projects, perfecting and adding the minute details of their cookie cutter, quite literally Xerox copies of each others project, cards. Niceties were exchanged, gabbing commenced, and then the ultimate blow of offenses.

“You know it is not a ‘Holiday Tree’ this is America, it is called a ‘Christmas Tree’ so let’s just call it that and move on and quit trying to be friends with these crazy Muslims and what not…”

Now I am not, by any means, an easily offended person. But that comment, spewed from the mouth of an older, white, staunch conservative, no more than a high school education, WOMAN, pissed me the hell off. Why? Why was I so clearly irked by her lack of cultural sensitivity, her blissful ignorance, her sheer disregard for her new audience? Hmm, one could wonder why right?

Not I. I had no care to wonder, because this woman who was hosting me in her home had no idea whether my messiah was derived from the over translated New Testament, the Book of Moses, or if my messiah might possibly be Muhammad himself, or better yet a higher language of thought and enlightenment through Buddhism or hell maybe I was Satan reincarnate through Hinduism in the form of a hot blond. Do you see my level here? No? Here is the deal.

You can be Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, an Atheist, a Pagan, a Hindu, or Buddhist, but do NOT assume that because we live in what I feel is a large melting pot of cultural  beliefs and racial assimilates that I too am as ignorant and a staunch conservative, WHITE, pseudo-Republican, and Christ belief bearing as you. I truly do not mind that so many people have so many beliefs, I rather find the various beliefs of great interest to me, I question everything because I wish to learn more, not find the one divine path to redemption. I find redemption within my own self, not from some righteous ass who tells me I need to find redemption by giving to their authority in the form of cash and guilty Sabbath visits or confessionals.

I will admit, I am Caucasian, I am a registered card bearing member of the Republican Party, I am also a gun owner, a baptized Baptist whom has been non-practicing for over 20 years, I am Pro Choice (GASP!), and I like many other morons voted for Bush…TWICE, but I also voted for Barrack Obama. I believe in Mother Earth, a higher power of sorts, reincarnation, an afterlife, I believe in free will, choices, the ultimate separation of Church and State because I believe homosexuals should be granted the same unhappiness of marriage like us heterosexual folks. Seriously, why should we be damned granted blissful marriage and divorce only? Makes sense right?

But I do not go about assuming that each and every person I come into contact with is of the same beliefs. I do not push my beliefs like a hustler. I embrace the diversity. I embrace my often mis-informed Republican kin, my zealous Democratic kin (who quite possibly are lost in translation….much like my Republican brethren), I embrace the word of the Torah, the Quran, canon (most likely Tibetan by all intents and purposes), the Book of Mormon, I embrace these as the words of good living, a form of ethics and a higher ascension, not for redemption and “I’m better than you because I believe in Christ” or “You’re going to hell”  (because I don’t believe the way you do). I also do not swallow all these words, but they are chew worthy and food for thought.

Really we spend so much time convincing others of our beliefs that one has to wonder their own religion if they are too busy selling the water. So I will drink the tap and thank you kindly for the hospitality, appreciate your strong beliefs and go on with my merry sinful living to your devout singular beliefs. Because I surely did not just tell you that you HAD to vote for Barrack Obama because we needed change in this country, I did not tell you that you must pray five times a day, barefoot, facing East in order to find divinity in your life, and I surely did not just force my Kenmore Progressive Upright in your face because it IS the best vacuum….Consumer Reports even called it a best buy! Embrace diversity and show a bit of consideration to your audience.

Good-bye Gift Guide

Alas the time has come for me to start wrapping up my final posts for the gift guide. I have but a few final giveaways and then I will be able to release all my pent up writing urges….because MAN ALIVE do I have some stories to tell you all! So sit tight….bear with my final posts, enjoy them as well as they are super NEAT-O. s

Yes. I just wrote NEAT-O. Get over it.

Everyone enjoy this time of year with all the joy, celebration, family, and fun!

Have a great day, evening, morning, afternoon!

The Ultimate Cloth review

The Five Fish are a “green,” eco-friendly family and recently I was contacted to receive and review The Ultimate Cloth. My first reaction was Sham-Wow. I know…I am terrible but that was my thought. My second thought was that this cloth is like the Mr. Clean sponge and laden with formaldehyde and harsh chemicals.

When I received the Ultimate Cloth I put it to the test.

The first item on the list of benefits was “Guaranteed…never streak Windows, Mirrors or Glass.”

Fabulous! Let’s take a gander. So my children sit near a window in their high chairs, that window is the victim of many drive by foodings….lots of concrete applesauce and what have you accumulates throughout the day and quite literally I can spend hours scrubbing and then cleaning to obtain streak free windows. DAILY.

I was PLEASANTLY surprised to see that upon wetting the Ultimate Cloth and wringing the water from it that I truly did get a streak free shine as well as remove the drive by foodings. Amazing! Okay, so could it stand up to THE DOORS. Yes, my French doors. The doors that have received many a grubby hands, muddy feet and hands and slobbery dog faces smooshing on this door. AMAZING! Seriously the schmegma, gone. Just sa bit of extra elbow work into the cleaning and the French doors are now sparkling clean.

The secret is the Mira-Fiber technology. I was skeptical, as usual. Chemicals had to be in this product. Somewhere. Somehow. No way could this smooth cloth be so rough and durable. No way this cloth could take a beating around the house, be bleached, washed, used and repeat all over again and still not be in shreds.

I then put this bad boy to the true test of cleaning in the domicile of The Five Fish…..THE STAINLESS STEEL. If you have true stainless steel in your home you know what a PAIN the stainless is to keep, quite literally, stainless. Finger smudges are the worst along with the ugly black dust build-up. Stainless is only clean and steak free when using the stainless steel cleaner right? Nope. I used the Ultimate Cloth and again, extremely happy that I had a STREAK FREE appliance on my hands.

Now keep in mind. You must rinse after each use and wring in order to achieve maximum results.

The Ultimate Cloth is a great, green alternative to harsh chemicals and cleaners. I keep mine in the kitchen at all times for spills, little wipe downs, and tough scrubbings. What’s great….they offer a money back guarantee on this product and a FIVE year warranty. Who offers those kind of benefits. Not to mention the green benefit of washing and BLEACHING this product for use over and over again.

Want one for yourself? Or hey maybe as a great stocking stuffer? The Ultimate Cloth generally sells for $6 but for a limited time you can take advantage of this great offer and pay just $0.01 plus s/h for this fabulous cleaner! Limit one at that price, but hey….for the price you could order another as a gift or for yourself, or a friend! Order one now!

Crafting and Scrapbooking Not Just for Girls

Who says that you have to be a girl to enjoy scrapbooking? How about crafts? I say no. In fact, my boy, Big G says NO as well. We (well especially me) were thrilled to receive a promotional copy of a “This Is Me” book from Carrie Lundell, owner of This Is Me Journal.

What is “This Is Me?” The journal is your child’s first keepsake journal, albeit a scarpbook of sorts for them. The pages are preloaded and designed for them to fill in. The journal allows them to share snapshots of their lives in the book. From personal drawings and simple memoirs to sharing events and thoughts.

Grant was not sure at first what to think about the book. Once I explained what the book is and what it is meant to be to him and to us he made a point to work on it everyday, or at least everyday that he didn’t have homework. My heart is warmed to see him take such pride in something that is all about him, a book that he will share with him family about his childhood.

Here is what my boy took the liberty to fill out about himself in the preloaded pages:

 

The cover is his self-portrait that he is still working on coloring and the second is a list of his favorite things.
I tried very hard not to laugh in PURE joy at this because if you look, his favorite song is by Linkin Park, his favorite movie is Transformers and the best part about being six is his Wii.
MAN! Why did we ever want to grow up!? Being a kid totally rocks!
What else…my boy today came with me to a Stampin’ Up workshop in partnership with Build-A-Bear.
I knew he would be excited because the event had Build-A-Bear but I was so pleased that he enjoyed the crafts as much as I did. Here is what my little artist did today while I worked on some Stampin’ Up projects with my fabulous host Jan McClurg and her invitees:
Like I said, who says you have to be a girl to do crafts and scrapbooking. My son did a magnificent job on his crayon tin with his Build-A-Bear stamping cards and his Build-A-Bear cut out Santa.
For more fun stuff for your kids be sure to check out the This Is Me journal site. What a wonderful gift to give your child anytime of year for them to share all the wonderful qualities of being an individual.