Empty Nest

We stepped out of the overcrowded room, onto the open walkway overlooking the pool and began our journey back to the car. Hand in hand with little people who could hold no more than a single digit we walked along the balcony style breezeway to the stairwell. Quiet. The only sound was the pitter patter of the small feet that struggled to keep up with our pace. As we all descended upon the stairwell the silence was finally broken, “I feel like we are forgetting something…someone. A feeling that just is not right.”

I looked back in his direction to see the same expression of sadness and relief. Relief we FINALLY got out of a hotel suite that clearly could not accompany three adults and eight children. The sadness as if we just left or abandoned our child. As we both spoke aloud saying, “He will have a good time….he will have fun” much as if we were trying to convince ourselves that letting our oldest child venture on a vacation without us is perfectly acceptable. The seven days that he will be gone, not to wake in our presence, ask incessantly to play his tauren on my WoW account, his sweet requests for dinner, are gut wrenching.

My air way closes off, the burning and blurring of my sight as tears well and I fight the urge to cry. Not even when I was in pre-term labor or when I delivered the twins was I ever away from Grant this long. While I know in my heart he is having fun and enjoying his spring break vacation with his grandmother and cousins he sees only on rare occasions, I cannot help to worry. I cannot fight my bit of empty feeling.  A somberness passes as I accept that my baby is getting older and he will want to spend less and less time with his father and I and his younger siblings.

I see the future that one day my boy will be a man and I can be thankful I spent the best years letting him spread his wings. Departing on small adventures on his own. Allowing him to find himself, his individuality, and finding happiness that we never held him back. The world is his playground and we are there to catch him if ever he should fall. We cannot wait for you to come home, we love you, miss you and hope you are having tons of fun on your vacation Grant!

Love,

Your Overprotective Mama and Encouraging Dad