Manners – The Greek Language

This past weekend my G celebrated his 13th birthday. I am still in denial that my baby faced boy is slowly becoming a man-child. With his celebration came his ideas to celebrate, he handled the planning while The Chad and I executed on his behalf. So we rallied the food, the cake, the custom invitations and we managed the RSVP. The intention of his party was to be very low-key. Pokemon Go, pizza, swimming and movie by the pool were his itinerary. We couldn’t be more happy for our man-child. What we weren’t expecting were unhappy attendees with manners of a farm hog. Apparently manners are like the Greek language to one child who attended. Or manners were a dead language or one that evolved into entitled demands and not a single thank you.

Our home is one that we try to maintain as very relaxed, open and highly inviting. We encourage free thought and a very open dialogue as well as maintaining boundaries, understanding rules and respect for one another. While we cannot expect that of everyone, we try to encourage the simplicity of respect, rules, boundaries and above all else, manners. Manners matter in our home. Our running inside joke is always “You’re Welcome.” It’s basically a no worries, we carry no debt or grudges idealism. With the exception of maintaining respect and manners. We will hold that over your head until the weight feels as if you would suffocate. I digress.

As I mentioned, one of G’s attendees was the most disrespectful and discourteous children I have ever met. The child was welcomed in as we had a brief chat with his mother. She was quiet, yet very polite and mindful to our time with a gaggle of kids. We shuffled the boy to the rest of the gang  before they headed off for the Pokemon Go adventure. Apparently, Pokemon Go was the first trigger of discord with this kid. We had to listen to his endless tirade about having a “dumb phone” that he could only call, text and watch the occasional YouTube video. He carried on about not having a smart phone and he didn’t want to play Pokemon Go.

Aside from missing manners, reading also seemed to be another skill this boy lacked. Flatly posting on the invitation that the boys would be playing Pokemon Go as part of the party. The Chad was a saint to watch as he wrangled this little heathen like a pissed off cat in a ketch-all baton. The outbursts continued. Mentioning that we had more than enough smart devices to accommodate, even for sharing, so that everyone could participate. Again, our efforts were NOT good enough for this young man. He wanted everyone to wait for him while he tried to help himself to one of our PC’s to create his OWN account. Sharing was beyond him I suppose. With more than enough devices to go around, he pitched a fit, stating he wouldn’t be playing if he couldn’t have his own account and own phone.

Ignoring the tantrum, even after our futile struggle to appease him, we sent the group off to hunt for Pokemon. After a short hour or so of walking about and capturing Pokemon, the group straggled back into the house. By now we were preparing pizza to nosh on, I mean who doesn’t love pizza at a party? So when the group came in, the complaints fired back up again. I was more than patient with the level of negativity this kid was spewing.  After a few moments though, he was blipping on my radar like an enemy of the state. His selfishness would not be tolerated.

More vile complaints about where are all the people. When would the pizza be ready? This is all we are doing, I should have brought my tablet. We ignored some of his bullshit, which is what it was resulting to at this point. The rest we mitigated with bold remarks, “Well this isn’t YOUR party.” I have had an easier time entertaining my eight year old twins and their brood than this one kid. Never in my 13 years of being a mom, met a child so obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate and ungracious in my life.I just stood in disbelief in my kitchen with The Chad while the brood were poolside.

Who in the hell let’s their children act up this way? Was he never taught about gratitude? A simple thank you maybe? Was this not in your vocabulary?

So we sat back to watch the interaction. I figured they are 13, we did not need to hover. Until this kid. Next thing we know he is grabbing our Amazon Tap and operating it like a toddler with a firearm. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy does it. The boy yanked his arm away as we attempted to retrieve our toy from him. I was losing patience and my body was vibrating with agitation. I was that mom who felt the need to haul off and spank her kid for his misbehavior. Bless The Chad as he asked him, “You know what you are doing?” As the boy tried to play off like he did The Chad snatched our device back and we called off-limits to anyone but an adult to operate.

Until Little Bitty decided she would play DJ for her 30 second dance parties. Oye vey man, can a mom get a break! Swinging the door open, I reiterated in a snappy voice that the same rules apply to my kids. I suppose my adultish action provoked this boy to come put me in my place about the type of music we all should be listening, as I changed the selection back to Amazon Prime’s Alternative station. He insisted that I could not put on music that had curse words because he was LDS (Mormon if you didn’t know) and that I needed to put on HIS music.

Clearly this boy has never met me. He miscalculated my consideration for his lack of consideration, manners, and courtesy in my home, to my son, to his other friends. Clearly he was unaware of his entitled shenanigans that resulted in my “Give a Fuck” button to be broken at the very moment he declared what I had to do for him. Remembering The Chad’s statement, don’t break him, I looked at him with my best resting bitch face and explained that we listen to all sorts of music and our selection would not be a problem for him. He continued to carry on about his beliefs and we needed to put on his music.

Reminding him of his position, and that of mine, as an adult, was useless. My mind was shouting “you are in MY HOUSE kid and if I want to play Kid Rock, Ted Nugent’s Strangehold (which is what I was feeling) and finish off with karaoke to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, by God I would!” So I respectfully replied that the music would be fine as I walked away and he carried on as if we were still in debate.

For hours he blathered on further about his level of boredom despite the rest of the gang having a ball in the pool and running amok in the back yard. By this time the sun had started to set and we were ready for the movie by the pool. We shuffled them inside to play Minecraft, as G requested; while we prepped cake, ice cream, popcorn for the movie and The Chad setup the projector. Our final straw came when as we all were singing Happy Birthday the boy tried to raise his volume to continue to complain about the type of cake G wanted for his birthday.

We couldn’t wait for this kid to go home. I have never wished so badly to punish and discipline a child as I did this boy. He was unruly, rude, ungrateful and lacked manners. I could continue to share how awful he was about the movie choice. His bold hypocritical response to want to watch one of the newer Star Trek movies we had, despite all the cursing, it was his favorite and he was game to watch! Of course. The Chad and I just patiently entertained the heathen out of respect for our son.

Have you ever experienced a child that was short of being considered “a little fucker”? Have you ever had a child in your home be so disrespectful? Did you say anything to the parent? I felt sharing about his deplorable behavior and lack of saying thank you (not even once) would fall upon deaf ears. What do you do with kids who have manners that seem to be like the Greek language to them? We felt the best course of action was to just be courteous and welcoming despite every cell in our body saying otherwise. You know, because that is what people, and adults, with manners do.