I Suck as a Mom

Not only do I suck as a mother…but just about every other uterus that has hosted the parasite child and or children that we love today is a suck-tatstic mom. I know…how dare I say you suck as a mom. Well admit..you do! Hell, all those ass hats who CLEARLY think they are such great human beings that camp out on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, in the “Self Help” section of Barnes and Noble, you know they MUST be better mothers, fathers, parent’s right? Look where you can find them.

Wrong. Here is why they can eat rat heads and suck a goat’s ass. Our parenting skills are courtesy of our parents with a twist, we take what we learn from them and put our twang into parenting. Think of it as a cubre libre, a rum and coke…with a lime. We aren’t given the master manual of how to raise our children to June Cleaver standards, which I am still researching, I believe June was flawed and…I know that if you are given a nickname like “Beaver” you are bound for fricking therapy!

I was talking with The Chad today about my blog. I told him I was so happy to take a step back, to see where I was, to look at the kids again in a different light and before I knew it we were discussing my book. Yes. A book. My book. The book I am writing based on the fact that I am a parenting expert who knows diddly shit! Just like all the other diddly shit knowing parents out there. We talked so much about all the funnies from our early parenting days with Grant. Simple items like ‘How to Feed Your Child.’ Sounds easy right? Wrong. If you were like us, we fed the poor boy until he puked. Yup. Projectile, overfilled the damn tank like they tell you not to do at the gas station, mistake of over feeding our kid. How were we to know? He just kept going….so we rooted him on like any good parent watching their child at a hot dog eating contest. Until we got the Poltergeist effect of formula hurled onto us with a projectile reach of at least five feet. Good form Grant baby….all over me AND dad.

We make mistakes. Lots of mistakes. Mistakes are not bad, mistakes are meant to be lessons to be learned. I look at mistakes as information that was mis – tooken. Yes, I mistook the information to be correct. I was not necessarily wrong, just an err. By looking at my mistake as a simple err rather than a brow beating incident that would result in endless mommy guilt that I would inevitably take out on my child who would take out on their child and we all would end up on Jerry Springer in therapy.

Being a parent is the hardest job on Earth. Our training sucks, the vacation time only gets better after 15 years of service (maybe less), the pay is wet and sloppy (but hey…I will take kisses any day of the week), and the hours are a bitch (Parenting gives a new meaning to the “graveyard” shift). So before you swing your royal gavel about being a parent or someone else’s parenting skills, take a step back and remember you may be pointing one finger at them. But you have at least three pointing back at YOU! Each of us that are parents do what we can with the tools we are given and we can build a bridge or we can build a fortress. Parenting is like a flower with each petal, each bloom, and each dormancy a new chapter in how we shape our children and ourselves. Making mistakes and learning from them is all the fun of looking back at how we have flowered, bloomed, and how we pollinated with beautiful people for whom we call our children.

Do your best, love your kids, and know that you are doing your best with what you know at THAT moment in time, in your life, and that you did and will continue to do right by your children and yourself. Because I know that I can look at my kids and know that I am not perfect, but I love each one of my children perfectly, no one can change that and no one can tell me how to raise them or love them.

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The Perfect Nursery from QTips

Each of my pregnancies is so rich in my mind. I can remember each one of them so vividly and how I planned out the layout of the nursery, the bedding, the window coverings, pictures, how I would arrange the diapers, my planning was impeccable. However, when the time came with my first I was frozen as to how to put the basics together with diapers, wipes, the essential baby needs.

By the time the twins came around I knew I was prepared. Celebrity nursery designer Wendy Bellissimo suggests that neutral colors be chosen if you are going to be “surprised” by the sex of your baby, store essentials like Vaseline, diaper cream, rubbing alcohol and Q Tips and hold off on the paint. She confirmed everything I had setup and planned in my double nursery with the twins. I knew I could not be over prepared with this double whammy of a blessing.

The new Q Tips packaging is stylish and sleek for any nursery with the slide out box, neutral colors, and fun themes. The new boxes also allow for safe storage of your Q Tips to protect the integrity as well as protect your baby. Q Tips are great for applying ointments in a delicate manner, cleaning baby’s delicate areas (umbilical cord), and for small cleaning of your baby such as outer ear, behind the folds of your baby’s ear, and other delicate areas. **When cleaning a baby’s ear you should never enter the ear canal as to avoid damage to the ear.

In addition to preparing the nursery with essentials why not add style and functionality. Yes…items can be both functional and stylish! Not to mention some fun accesories for your child to enjoy as he or she grows into their space. Fun accesories like pictures, keepsakes, and of course the all famed piggy bank!

The folks at Mom Select sent me a two pack of Q Tips and a stylish elephant piggy bank to enjoy and to share with you my readers! Yes, you can add Q Tips and the adorable piggy bank to your nursery or someone you know who will be creating their nursery. I know my nursery is now toddler territory and I am also the donations coordinator for my twin mom organization so I am donating my Q Tips and bank for one of the new expecting moms in the club to enjoy!

How can you win this gift pack of Q Tips and the stylish elephant bank? Tell me the various uses you have for Q Tips in your home, car, for your children or tell me who can put these items to good use!

Extra Entries:

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  • Where? Twitter February 4th @ 8pm EST
  • Who? @ResourcefulMom @MomTalkRadio @MomSelectAmy
  • What? #QtipsBaby
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CONTEST ENDS FEBRUARY 6TH @ 11:59PM ARIZONA TIME
Best of luck!

The Fish Out of Water

Goodbye is the healthiest action anyone can take when looking to end something. Everything truly comes to an end whether we realize the situation or not. I love to say goodbye. Closure. Finito. My finale. A closed chapter per se.

I am a soul seeker, I look for answers and when I am faced with numerous options and not the definitive answer I do what all people do…NOTHING. Why? Why act on emotion and the unknowing, why act on the drama of a three act play waiting for the curtain call only the curtains never do call.

I stated that I started my blog with specific intentions, my outlet, my freedom to express what life is like in my home (world), with my children, myself, and my husband. By no means am I saying I am “special” or a chosen one but just a socialite stay at home mom, housewife and former career woman who can share the angst’s of life and that we are not alone in our feelings, our momentary insanity, our trials in parenthood, our failures and successes as individuals in our many roles. My blog began to take a fun turn….reviews, giveaways, contests, Oh my! I was Dorothy traveling the yellow brick road, I was off to see the wonderful wizard of blogs. Only I felt more like Alice tripping down a rabbit hole, only that rabbit hole was laced with LSD and bad trips.

Taking a step back allowed and still allows me an insight into the world of “blogging” and the interaction in “social media.” What I find completely interesting is the dynamics in this virtual and alternate reality. I also saw a side of myself I did not like, someone I was morphing into that was not me. Even “me” wasn’t me anymore as I watched bits here and there of my soul being chipped away by those who could take my good heart and genuine sincerity and deplete my reserves, little by little. I watched as COMPLETE strangers made character assassinations in a weak and pathetic attempt to gain an advantage. One I can now look at and laugh hysterically at the sheer pain, anger, and rage pent up in such individuals to attack someone at such a level. Truly a sad, sad day for them in their actions, and an even prouder day for me…that I can take pity on their wretched souls as they burn from the inside out. Taking a step back allows for total and complete reflection, removing oneself from the aquarium.

Continuing on my path I would have morphed into the juggernaut of blogs. A completely destructive force to myself, my family, and those around me creating a catastrophic area of effect. Supernova is what comes to mind. A bright star becoming so consumed with itself burning into oblivion. What would be the purpose? Sure I could go forth and monetize my blog, become a “top mom blogger,” get great invites, go on trips, and then what? Really what is the next level? Total world domination. Why? What would be the reason? Is that really my goal? Is that really what I want? Nope. Why not you ask?

My goal has and will always be law school. I was a born negotiator, mediator, and royal piss you the fuck off because I am ALWAYS right kind of person. My goal is to continue to be the best, happiest, healthiest mom to my kids and so they learn what took me well into my 30s to figure out. My goal is to be a fabulous socialite wife and lover to my husband. My goal is to continue to be a strong and awesome friend, sister, and overall real deal of a human being, to continue to be true to myself and those around me.

Sometimes in life we become so engulfed in what we are doing, where we are going, who we are sharing with that we tear down the walls we had built with precision to protect ourselves from our own demise. Then we are entrenched into our situation we are blinded, almost delusional because our view of reality is so obtuse. Boundaries are created for a reason and if we do not respect or realize our own boundaries, no one else will either. Reaching center allows you to survey everything and take inventory.

Until We Meet Again

Tonight I had a come to God with myself and a few comments made on my blog made me realize that my life has been a little too consumed by this blog. My life is more than a blog, than this blog. I will be fulfilling my commitments because that is who I am, but I have let these commitments take a hold of me more than I had intended. My blog was meant to be my release, my space, and now my space has been damaged. I let too many things, people, and events consume me personally with my life and my time. I am taking time to re-evaluate, you can email me if you need. As I said I will be fulfilling commitments and obligations. My regards until we meet again.

Karie

Cold and Flu Tracker and Triaminic

Winter is such a dreaded season for parents. The cold. The wet. The snow. The blistering winds that seem to cut through you like ice, and that is just the complaints from the adults. Our poor kids must really feel the weather with their small bodies, and we know they do, the runny noses, coughs, sniffles, the symptoms seem to go on and on.

What else can a parent do other than do the best we can with making sure our kids are bundled up, hydrated, and with the cough, runny nose, and sniffles they might need a little extra care by taking an over the counter cough and cold medicine. A trusted brand my family uses for our kids is Triaminic.

Triaminic is great because we as parents no longer have to fight with the dosing of hard to pour and hard to dispense (getting our kids to swallow) over the counter cough and cold medicine. Triaminic has Thin Strips that are placed easily on your child’s tongue and dissolve almost immediately allowing your child to take medicine to help him or her feel better without the awful liquid medicine taste, and you can get a $1.50 off coupon. Plus, parents no longer will have the worry of dispensing too much or too little which has been a cause for concern. However, always be sure to read the warning label and directions when administering any medication to your child.

If you happen to really be dreading the cold and flu season and wonder how you can stay ahead of the next wave or better yet how to better protect your family? Triaminic also has a fabulous tool called the the Cold and Flu Tracker where you can track and see the current levels of infection of cold and flu in your area. Triaminic also offers other tools on the website such as sick day guidelines, cough and cold guide and more. Check it out now and see what your standings are, I checked mine for here and Phoenix and with our mild winter we have been lucky to see only a moderate range of folks with cough and cold symptoms. Definitely something I will keep an eye on with a child in school and toddling twins at home. Because once one of them is sick, we all seem to get sick and what fun is that?

Be sure to check out the cold and flu tracker and keep your family on the leading edge of the cough and cold season as well as other tools to help keep your family healthy this winter.

*This post is a sponsored post on behalf of We Speak Media and in no way influences the outcome of this post. I received no product in conjunction with this post, my stated opinion is based on my previous use of the product and is no way meant to be taken as FACT or as medical advice to treat and or cure disease.

Fleet Fiber Gummies

While we are still in January I wanted to bring this product to your attention and promote awareness that January is National Fiber Focus Month. Fiber. So many cringe at the sound of the word. When you think of fiber you tend to think elderly, those nasty food additives, or worse, the flavor lacking food that resembles the taste of cardboard.

But did you know that fiber is essential for a healthy diet, weight loss, blood sugar maintenance, and digestive health? However, our children don’t have to worry about this right? Wrong. Last year the American Academy of Pediatrics increased the recommended daily fiber intake standards. Especially because our lives have been so consumed with time or lack thereof and over scheduling our kids are not always receiving adequate intake in their meals, so many parents head for the drive through window because of time and convenience.

twins, salad, Karie Herring, Thefivefish.com

Foods that are naturally rich in fiber, apples, breads, rice, salad, green vegetables, just about everything that is a plant of sorts is rich in fiber for your diet. So what if your kids are like everyone else’s kids and they will not eat the green leafy goodness that helps us feel full, promotes digestive health, and tastes great? Why not a supplement?

(If you are curious those are my kids. Eating chicken salads. Yes, chicken chunks in a green salad. I am lucky with their eating habits.)

Pedia-Lax Fiber Gummies from Fleet are a great way to help your kids stay regular and get their daily dose of fiber in their diet. The gummies are a cute penguin shape and best of all they are sugar free, calorie free, AND gluten free. Recommended for children ages 2-11 to maintain better digestive health, three gummies a day are equivalent to a half cup of broccoli.

Now if you are not sold or sure on the supplement visit the Fiber Gummies site to get some great ideas on how to incorporate foods (such as fruits, vegetables and whole grains) into your child’s diet and even get a $1.00 off coupon to buy a bottle of fiber gummies. Or if you don’t want to buy them, try to win a bottle here on this blog.

Tell me what you do to get your kids to eat veggies? Do you hide it in their foods? What creative way do you try to get your kids to eat veggies? Leave me a comment and tell me.

Extra Entries:

  • Follow my blog and tell me you do
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CONTEST ENDS FEBRUARY 4TH 2010@ 11:59PM ARIZONA TIME
Best of luck!
*The Five Fish received a package of Fiber Gummies to review. In no way does this review intend to diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and in no way represent any medical expertise.

Easy Coleslaw Recipe

Food is such a fun project and you know the best way to save money nowadays is to make things at home from scratch. Plus you can control your ingredients so if you are health conscious (like me sometimes) this is the best bet. You can avoid all the pre-packaged food and all the garbage that is inside. I am a huge grilling fan too. I LOVE TO GRILL. With grilling comes favorites like burgers, chicken and my famous smoked brisket. Want to know what to serve with those as a side? Good old fashioned Slaw!

1/2 head cabbage
1/4-1/2 head of purple cabbage (or radicchio for a nice pepperly flavor)
1/4 c. shredded carrots
1T. finely diced onion
1 T sugar
1 T vinegar
6 T cream
1 T Mustard dressing

Shred the cabbage very finely, add in the onion and carrots. In a separate bowl add the sugar, vinegar, cream, and mustard dressing, mix well, drizzle over cabbage and toss. Serve chilled or immediately

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Savings in Online Shopping

Now days who really wants to sift through endless ads and drive from store to store when looking to compare shopping prices. When I set out to do any sort of shopping I am looking for a handful of factors in the ideal product with the main factor being price. I then look at comparable options from one product to the next, then availability, quality of the product, and again back to price.

The Chad and I had remodeled our kitchen roughly five years ago and I sorted through catalog after catalog and new home magazine after the next trying to build the perfect kitchen in my head. We finally came up with a fabulous idea for our kitchen and we set out to shop initially for the cabinets, and in hind sight probably should have shopped online first, but managed to settle at our local home improvement warehouse.The two of us also knew we have to stay within a budget so again, price was a factor in our purchases and project. But we also did not want to sacrifice quality in price.

However, the appliances were a completely different story than the cabinets, appliances were virtually everywhere online. We knew that a great deal of online stores carried a vast array of products and we sought out the best shopping deals around by first shopping online. I knew in my kitchen I wanted a built-in refrigerator, but built-in appliances could mean trouble if they broke as the cabinets may be damaged or cut into in the event of an unforeseen repair, thus increasing overall cost for a favored product. So I began to shop for traditional refrigerators and in my quest I came across my dream appliances.

I found everything from the small counter top appliances, to specialized products like built in wine-coolers and of course the mother of all appliances, I found my refrigerator with matching freezer, built-in wall oven, glass cook top, dishwasher, and of course a free-standing kitchen hood. My kitchen is definitely a shining light with the stainless steel free-standing kitchen hood, fullsize stand alone freezer and full size stand alone refrigerator.
By shopping online, we were able to find the best shopping deals, price compare to local stores, and we were able to determine our total savings and stay within our budget during the kitchen remodel.

Ever since our kitchen remodel I shop online first before I even leave the house to shop in a traditional store. I want to know I am getting the most for my dollar no matter what products I may be in the market to purchase. By shopping online I was able to save thousands of dollars on my appliances, so even if I can shop online and save even a fraction of that number I am more than satisfied.
*Sponsored post, however, all the content here within is my first hand experience and was not influenced in anyway by this post.

The Hat Diva

This little girl is something. She is overly independent, knows exactly what she wants all the time, demands it, is ornery as all get out, gorgeous, loving when she wants to be, and has her tender moments and of course she is bossy. Man, she is her mother’s daughter. But I love shoes….she loves hats, I will forgive her when I see her at Churchill Downs donning the biggest, most fabulous hat ever while sipping a mint julep.

Until then, I will enjoy these precious moments with my baby girl. Some days I cannot get over how beautiful this little girl is and she is all mine! Best of all, she plays in the mud, water, and loves to say shit…or is it ship…or chip…either way she is one of a kind and all mine. My Little Bitty, Hat Diva.

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Questions About Taxes: Mrs. Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks

So I want to bring back the old slave of my mind…put her to work for you. I am hearing buzzing about taxes? Home mortgages? Tax credits? Current homeowner tax credits? Oh you didn’t know about that one…ah yes…I will share more! Blog ad payments, review items are they counted towards income, what can you write off, what can you not write off on your taxes? Believe me….I have been audited for NOT claiming everything so I can tell you what is what on your taxes BEFORE you go to your overpaid CPA or worse…GASP….H&R Block. Getting prepared for your taxes is a snap. Bring me your questions.

Throw me all your questions.  I will….cram all of my answers into FIVE minutes of vlog time for next Thursday. Seriously any money, purchase, credit, whatever question you have I HAVE an answer. Could be any question, let’s make this fun too ya know?

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