Tag: parenting

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Trying to Conceive

As a mother I think that a great deal of misconception surrounds trying to conceive for women. I personally went through my own struggles. From complicated health issues that hindered my ability to conceive to loss. To conceive a child is what some of us consider to be what makes us women. While we are no less human or no less a woman, the yearning for a child for many women is very biological.

Currently I have a friend who has struggled, as I had to conceive. But I feel her story is worth sharing as I wish her all the baby dust and sprinkles in the world as she begins her journey into motherhood.

trying to conceiveHer conception struggles began sometime last year as she made her first attempts at conception. Knowing some early pregnancy symptoms and signs she knew she was pregnant. But as veteran mothers know, the first 12 weeks are always the danger zone. Within the week of sharing her good news with the blessed few, including myself, she was experiencing heartache. My heart broke for her as I watched hers break over and over and I saw her wretched with pain. I saw her come to work and swallow her pain. I knew her pain, I once experienced her pain, but how can you console a grieving woman who so badly wants to be a mother just as I had become. At a loss with her loss I gave her space but shared my pain with her, my struggles as a reassurance she was not alone, to aid in her healing.

Time passed and she tried yet again only to be faced with the same result, loss, grief, and the emptiness that she may never become a mother. I saw the despair, I could feel her despair, I once experienced this myself, and again I offered my friendship and experience as a consolation that conception can suck, but she is not alone.

However  her loss became a sounding strength as she became more determined to find the root of her struggles of which she did and did so with some success. She found answers, direction, and a healing path. She recently just found she was pregnant, without jinxing the impeccable news, she has not shared with many people, and I will not share her name because I would hate to jinx this for her as well. But my intent is to share that conception is not always a joyous event. Women struggle each day, but with struggles and heartache can eventually yield the joy and love every woman who is trying to conceive deserves.

Please cheer, pray, light candles, whatever your methodology may be for my dear friend as she travels through the next seven weeks to the path of glory and surviving her first trimester into the coming days of motherhood. I have been honored to get her every other day results with her blood work as her levels climb at awesome levels. My personal hope is she is cursed blessed with twins and she experiences all the joys, laughter, struggles, and growing pains of any parent.

Our journey to motherhood should not be met with such woe and sorrow, but the reality is that we are thrown a curve ball. How we act upon that curve ball is whether we step back from the plate or we take a swing and run for the bases.

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A Kids Point of View – Week 1

This will be a post every Monday to jump start the week. I was inspired to do this weekly post when I found that my kids had gotten hold of our Sony Cybershot Camera and needless to say there are some very incriminating, informative, and even down right hilarious and frightening photos that my children have captured. I hope you will enjoy these brief moments in time, captured by my children when they thought no one was looking.

In honor of Halloween this month these will be some spooky and even frightening photos. Enjoy!

 

Frightening Photo of Neighbor Friend Dropping a Deuce in Our Bathroom

Your photographers are:

Grant – eight years old

Seth and Sara – three and a half years old.

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Why is my Poo Green

Why is my poo green? Or tan? Or dark brown? And why in the name of everything that is holy and divine are we discussing the topic of shit. Seriously, poo, dookie, shit, turds, pellets, and the like are mentioned in my home more than I care to divulge. Maybe some weird prerequisite of being a parent to collectively talk shit as a family. Now I mean literally, talking shit. After all the talk I feel like I need to light a match.

For some odd reason though my husband parents are concerned about the health and nature of their children’s deuce. Honestly, I don’t give a shit about shit, if it comes out without issue, SCORE! However, my household in particular, and this spans many generations I have found after a lenghty commentary with my now senior mother and her more than senior parents about the discussion of the “number two.” I digress, so yes the parental concern about the movement.

Bowel movements are a way to excrete the waste but for parents its all about the science I suppose, dissecting the shape, apparent texture as it floats in the porcelain, and of course like any good gem; cut, color, and clarity. But let’s focus on the color since green poo seems to be the odd misnomer of shit in my house. Green poo in my house would mean calling our poor neighbor who is a PA and asking him his professional opinion, at which time I crack open a beer for him out of the pity to listening to concerns regarding a young child’s fecal matter that resembles the off color of seaweed.

You see as a mom we look stupid on the outside. Oddly we are fucking cerebral ninjas, fully aware of the happenings and goings on, zen with our home and child. We know that the green poo was generated by the injestion of some fruity colored pebble breakfast meal, fruity colored O’s meal, Jello of the odd color, Popsicle maybe, and or an entire bag of gummie bears or combination of all the above.

Shit you not. Pun totally intended.

Green poo has been proven to be the result of the god damn marketing of rainbow colored, sugary goodness. If you don’t believe me….try it yourself. $10 says you will be checking out your next dump.

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Battling Summer Boredom

We are just a mere month into summer and already my kids are whining of the dog days of summer. Bored. Stiff. Endless hours by the pool, swimming to their hearts content, camping, and family outings just do not seem to foot the bill for a child’s endless imagination and entertainment.

Summer is a great time to encourage children to let their imaginations soar. School schedules can sometimes be demanding and time for less structured, imaginative activities is often scarce. The freedom of summer gives children large blocks of uninterrupted time to create projects of their own choosing that can last several days or even longer.

Here are 10 ideas parents can use to keep young minds active during the summer months:

1. Boredom Buster Jar: At the beginning of the summer, sit down with your family and brainstorm a list of activities that can be done alone or that you can enjoy doing together. Next, write everyone’s ideas down on slips of paper and as a group decide which ones should go in the jar. Anyone in the family can pull any idea out of the jar to fight the summertime boredom blues.

2. Stories Alive: It sounds too simple, but reading is one of the most important ways to keep young minds engaged during the summer. Make reading even more fun by finding ways to bring the stories to life.

3. Art Start Box: You’ll need to gather basic art supplies–child safe scissors, glue, markers, tape and construction paper. Put them in a special box along with empty oatmeal boxes and paper towel rolls, colorful magazines and bits of aluminum foil. Occasionally add a special surprise like chalk, stickers, or stamp pads so there’s always something new for the children to find. Even if you normally have these supplies around the house, it‘s fun for children to know that the Art Start Box is just for them. They’ll probably have some good ideas of other household items that can be recycled to fuel their creative energies.

4. Family Performances: Break out old clothes or costumes and encourage children to make up characters and create a play to act out. They are the directors, actors, and producers. They can also make musical instruments out of pots/pans, wooden spoons, empty canisters and have a parade; or everyone can play along to your family’s favorite songs. Record or video the performances, and enjoy the replay. You’ll also be capturing a bit of family history everyone will enjoy for years to come.

5. Family Dance Party: Crank up the music and encourage your entire family to boogie down. Dancing gives children a great outlet for self-expression through their own motion and helps build self-esteem. It also enhances motor and coordination development by incorporating skills like jumping, landing and leaping. Dancing is a great activity that can involve the whole family and doesn’t take very much preparation.

6. Fort Building: Children love to build all kinds of structures–from small towns to large towers. Constructing forts or tents is an activity that can keep children focused and problem solving for hours. All the items you need can be found around the house–some chairs, cushions, blankets… and of course adult supervision.

7. Cookbook Fun: Have you ever shared your favorite cookbook with your children? Take it out and ask your children to choose a recipe to try. Measuring can be a fun and easy way to keep math skills fresh.

8. Summer Scrapbook: All you need for this project is a spiral notebook. Encourage everyone in the family to draw pictures of favorite activities and collect mementos from special events throughout the summer. Children love to go back through scrapbooks and albums and tell about what happened at each occasion. They will also be building their storytelling skills at the same time.

9. Camping Out: Pretend to campout in the backyard. Plan a meal, pack a backpack and set up a campsite. You might even decide to spend the night!

10. Scavenger Hunt: Make a list or picture cards of common household items and have your children find the items on the list. Invite friends or neighbors to join in the fun to make it a competition.

While these are just a few great ideas, also look into your local newspaper and or community and recreation center for free or low cost activities. Zoo’s, museum’s, and other venues offer plenty of free activities and fun for your children to enjoy.

For more great ideas on beating summer boredom check out www.DrZandFriends.com or www.primroseschools.com

THIS IS A SPONSORED POST ON BEHALF OF PRIMROSE SCHOOLS, MY OPINION AND KNOWLEDGE REGARDING CHILD BOREDOM IS BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE WITH  MY OWN CHILDREN. HOWEVER, SOME SUPPORTING INFORMATION WAS PROVIDED ON BEHALF OF PRIMROSE SCHOOLS.

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Choosing Childcare, Preschools

Upon the birth of my first child Grant I was a mess for weeks scrambling, literally, at the last minute attempting to arrange and interview child care centers and preschools. My poor son, at the ripe age of five weeks with a neurotic mother, scared sick about leaving her child with anyone else but his parents. Even the sole time my mother watched Grant so that The Chad and I could attend a work dinner was sheer horror for me. I was breastfeeding and it was time away from my baby.

However, my fears were lessened as I began to research schools and childcare centers. I read articles online about credentials the centers had yielded, affiliations, complaints and where to find those complaints (which will vary by state), I researched whether they were part of a food program, the security measures they had to keep my children safe from predators and while in their care, and the staff to children ratio.

Who would have dreamed that childcare considerations were so in-depth, labor intensive, and quite frankly a science?

I had no idea. In fact when I first began seeking out childcare for Grant I went off of the brand name centers that were familiar by sound. Later I found I was unimpressed, annoyed, and rather disdained by the level of service these “brand name” childcare and preschool centers offered. The treatment was comparable to walking onto the sales lot of an auto dealership, vultures, waiting to pluck at their prey when they are most vulnerable, pushing for a “tour” based on their schedule and not yours, more concerned with enrollment and cash flow than the needs of my child and myself. One center had the audacity to advise me that they would not let me visit the center unless I had an appointment, needless to say I felt this organization had something to hide if I could not just drop in as I felt my schedule allowed, they were discounted and removed from consideration.

My research and extensive notations about the various facilities soon became a bullet point checklist:

  • Accreditation – was the school accredited in the state, nation, how were they officially recognized as a facility and learning institution.
  • Safety – was the facility safe for my child (now children with the twins), keypad entry, camera’s viewing the classrooms, licensed facilitators and caregivers.
  • Convenience – was the center convenient to my hours, schedule, location, were they accommodating to my needs and those of my children.
  • Curriculum – did the center provide a curriculum of learning and or child interaction no matter the age to aid in the development of my child.
  • Cost – the nitty-gritty is that cost is a huge factor in choosing a childcare and or preschool. Even if the cost is low, do the other bullets add up in the equation regarding curriculum or learning, safety, and accreditation, the same can also be said for the higher priced “brand name” and or boutique childcare centers.
  • Happiness- is my child happy here, am I happy they are here, do the staff interact with my child in a fun and loving fashion, yet educational and assertive to establish healthy boundaries.

While each parent’s decision in choosing a childcare facility and or preschool may vary, the fact of the matter lies in that as parents we choose what is best for our child, children, and our families. Each family varies with their needs, whether they be a special needs learner, a child with allergies, and or our children need a level of interaction to stimulate their learning and childhood experience, the choice in a childcare facility is not one to be made hastily.

Be sure to weigh in on all of the factors when choosing a childcare center, and furthermore, rely on your instincts. While the consideration may sound hooky or even mystical in nature, a parent has a form of sixth sense when considering care, welfare, and well-being of our children. Choose a facility that will work with you, your family and especially your child. For more information, visit your local department of health services to research a childcare facility and their operations and visit Primrose Schools to read about the various options to weigh when researching a childcare facility.What are some considerations you look to when choosing a childcare facility? What sticks out as a sore thumb or red-flag in your decisioning?

This is a sponsored post on behalf of Primrose Schools. While I was compensated for this post, in no way has my opinion, experience, or knowledge been influenced and or biased, but purely an informational post.
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Staycation – Retreat on a Budget

Admittedly the Southwest Airlines commercials speak to me. You know the slogan right? “Wanna get away?”

My rhetorical question in return is “Does the sun rise in the East?”

staycation, hotels, hotels.comAs a mother, adult, and former traveler extraordinaire, I love to get away. But who says you have to reach the far ends of the Earth, comb the beaches of the Caribbean or peruse the boutiques of Europe to consider being on a retreat or to enjoy a vacation. Let’s revisit the first word of this paragraph which will segue into my explanation for a retreat. Mother. Yes, I have child or children in my case, which can often cause a serious reduction in travel. Why? You ask. Well my main reason for a reduction in travel is due to the birth of my twins. You see traveling with two infants and the entourage of gear required for their care could be equivalent to a domestic safari of sorts. However, now that they have evolved into walking, talking, and may I add talking again, little people travel has become less cumbersome. Nonetheless difficult though when you are now the minority and children are the majority.

Additionally, taking trips sans kids can also be difficult. Finding adequate care takers and or family willing to assume your children for a day, week, or even a few hours can be a rather disheartening to the couple wishing to have adult relations outside of the home where they can once again enjoy the company of their date. I know the hubs and I daydream of what life was like without children when we traveled and literally those memories are now daydreams for us.

But we are not letting the days of whine and runny noses get us down! In fact, my mother was so kind to gift us for Christmas gift cards for a weekend or night away from home. When we opened the gift and read the note, the feeling was much like letting the crazies out of the asylum to run the streets for the night. We could taste sweet freedom once again. In fact we got so caught up in getting away we couldn’t decide where the hell to go!

Have no fear though, the hubs is a resourceful geek of sorts. Bless him for having a Hotels.com account where he has been booking almost all of his travels for business, since he travels every other week he has become a domestic expert of travel accommodations. When the time came for us to book our retreat away from the kids, we looked at all the local resorts and spas within the Phoenix metro and downtown area. Finally we found a resort, spa, and casino close to home and even better, the price was right! So the hubs booked us a night at the Radisson Ft. McDowell Resort and Casino.

I was leery to say the least since the resort’s casino was known for being less than favorable. However, after reviewing the beauty shots of the resort on Hotels.com I was put more at ease and looking forward to our night and almost half day away from the kids to reconnect. I was put at even more ease when I saw the total cost of our sans kids retreat. $89 a night! With a sleep number bed, hot meal where I wasn’t required to cut anyone’s food but my own, no fighting kids for my own bed and pillows, and no worries of who would drive home due to the fact we both had some juicy alcoholic beverages. We just walked from the resort’s restaurant to the elevator and then to our room, a most pleasant evening, to which we retreated to enjoy additional quiet time as adults, reconnecting. Furthermore, we got up early enough the next morning to drive home but detoured for some breakfast at a local cafe.

Needless to say I was stoked we were able to get away and even better, Hotels.com helped us to stay on and within our budget, but were able to stay in a five star resort all  the more. Have you ever thought about a stay-cation when you cannot always get away for an extended vacation? Do you have the same struggles of child care when wanting to go on a date night?

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Healthy Homework Habits

Education is such a vital aspect in my family’s home that may be overlooked when considering the health and overall nature of fostering healthy learning. Our worlds are so technologically driven that even the most necessary evils, computers, e-books, and e-learning environments can be damaging or even cause a hindrance for our children’s learning curves.

Luckily my seven, soon to be eight, year old son has not reached the peak of technology based learning for which I am ever so grateful. He is still at the stage of the essential basics for communication both written and oral that will foster healthy learning for his teen and adult years and something I will rally for through those learning years. However, while he is still in his elementary learning in life his dad and I do what we can to create an environment at home that is conducive to his learning and would be parallel to his learning in the educational institution. So each night when he comes home we ask if he has homework, even though we know the answer, we feel that asking him promotes the desire to learn and excel.

When homework is confirmed we like to create a healthy learning environment. Now most parents may think to clean off the table, maybe clean their room as to be free of distractions, maybe turn off the TV, some form of “cleaning” to create a healthy homework environment is perceived by a majority of parents. But as parents to a school aged child, and two more on their way into the educational system, we have found that the healthiest environment is one of consistency. Here are a few tips we offer as parents for creating healthy homework habits for our child(ren):

  • Homework should be done immediately when they get home from school.

We think that by completing homework right away is the most effective. The material is still fresh in their minds, they have not had the opportunity to decompress from their learnings and thus let this vital knowledge slip away from loose play with friends and or by joining the mass of zombies who log onto video games.

  • Homework is completed in a quiet and or relaxed environment and or setting.

As a parent to three children, of which is a set of troublesome three year old twins, finding a quiet spot in the house is much like building a rocket to land on Pluto. Fuhghedaboutit! However, we do get the twins involved in the quiet time by asking their big brother to read out loud to them if he has a reading assignment. This is a very healthy habit as he gets into the routine of reading aloud to hear himself say words and learn to speak clearly in front of others. Not to mention the captive audience of a pair of rowdy troublemakers who will learn by example.

  • Get involved!

Sometimes this is easier said than done with parents. We have busy schedules that are driven by work, kids,extracurricular activities involving the kids, PTO meetings, travel, dinner, and the rigmarole of  everyday life. But if we ask our children, “does your homework involve….(fill in the blank)” whether it be reading, writing, spelling, and or math we are showing that we too care about their homework and their continued learning path and no separation exists between school and home. That the two are congruent with one another. In fact, years of research have shown that when parents are involved in a child’s learning, through homework and school interaction, that children have “Higher grades, test scores, and graduation rates, better school attendance, increased motivation, better self-esteem, lower rates of suspension, decreased use of drugs and alcohol, and fewer instances of violent behavior” (Michigan Department of Education: Education.com, 2007). Those reasons alone should be a powerful initiative to get involved with our children and their learning.

Whatever your habits may be, make sure they are healthy for your child’s learning. Kids thrive on routine and positive affirmations. Really their homework time should not be a burden for them or for you. What would you say are some of your family’s healthy homework habits? What would you share with other parents that may foster healthy homework habits that will have a positive effect on their child’s learning?

“THIS IS A SPONSORED POST ON BEHALF OF CLOROX AND WHILE I WAS COMPENSATED FOR THIS POST IN NO WAY DID THE COMPENSATION DETER OR INFLUENCE MY USE OR OPINION SURROUNDING THE USE OF CLOROX PRODUCTS.”
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The Warm Fuzzy Mommy Moment

A lot of moments in a child’s life can be considered proud parental moments but none so bright as watching your child evolve. When I had Grant I was a full time career woman, basically a child was extracurricular for me at the time. Call it status quo of life, having a child at 25 was something I was suppose to do and internally I had this drive, a desire to be a mother. I did not quite grasp the motherhood warm and fuzzy until Big G was about three. The Chad and I experienced a lot of emotional and trying ups and downs early into Grant’s life; with living in a nice but cramped Scottsdale apartment as we waited for our home to sell in Albuquerque so that we could buy another home here in Arizona, putting a dog down, losing employment, gaining employment, having a child, moving again, getting pregnant again (with twins) and losing the pregnancy, losing employment again, gaining employment again. We went through a lot so we were busy trying to be the responsible adults and basically in survival mode to care for our child that I did not get to stop and say, “Hey I am a mom, my child is unbelieveable.”

I finally was able to experience that warm fuzzy, the emotional wave of the real connection of motherhood only after our turmoils, only after I received the opportunity to stay at home with Grant and work out of the house. My baby boy was sent to daycare at the ripe age of seven weeks. I missed almost everything, but experienced and learned a lot. I look back now and am sad that our life circumstances were such, but I do not carry any regret just a pain in my heart that I know will be healed over time. But I had my moment where I watched my boy play and smile, cause trouble and push the envelope of what was allowed in our home and I was awe struck. Dumbfounded at best. I could spend all day with him, uninterrupted, raw, precious.

He is my child. I gave birth to him. No aliens will be back to take him home. He is not leaving, he’s all mine, to love and guide through life. To watch him fall down and get up, to watch him follow his dreams, to gaze upon him and he in turns looks at me to embrace me with the largest hug his small arms can muster and say:

“I wub joo mama”

I have watched him as he has evolved in his young life. I will watch him as he continues to evolve, grow and mature into a wonderfully brilliant young man. From the day he was born I knew he was brilliant. Not because of his father and I (although we do make damn fine children), but he has a spark like that of a growing star. His spark will one day reach a super nova and revolve in that state for all eternity as I do not see his brilliance overtaking him. But in the last few years I have really watched him change and become his own person.

So today was like any other day with the exception of a parent teacher conference. I chalked this visit to be like the rest, minus The Chad again as he is traveling for business. Upon walking into this meeting though I did have a new feeling, the warm and fuzzy that has swept me before, came in waves again. I began to recall Grant through the various stages of his life. From the bean sized shadow on a black and white ultrasound printout, an infant, an adventurous tot, and now he is a young boy, almost a young man with his demeanor.

One day I felt I woke up and he was this magnificent creature who has a wide and wondrous mind that sees no boundaries in his fellow man. Each carries the same features and abilities as he, ever accepting, ever loving, and he treats everyone as an equal. I am speechless to watch him interact, his bold blindness as if he were Eve prior to the apple debacle. The meeting commenced and when they told me of his educational brilliance I felt another wave, deeper than the one before. I could not believe the accomplishments of my child. Math, addition and subtraction, graphing, time and money, grammar and grammatical tenses, reading books at the first and second grade levels and progressing rapidly. My eyes began to well and I fought back the tears. I fought my feelings in the middle of a mundane, seemingly average parent teacher conference.

Tears of grief for the fact that I am slowly losing more and more time with my boy as he becomes a man. I want nothing more than to hold him tight to take in as much as I can during the ever fast moving continuum of time. Soaking in everything as I watch as the gears turn and lights click with him. Of course my tears of joy at his singular accomplishments. While I know I am his mother, and his father and I have played an intricate role at home, I know he is on his own. I am not there to hold his hand but I gave him tools and he is creating a masterpiece. For which I will always be his biggest fan, ever so proud of him in everything he does from his most prestigious accomplishments to the most dolt fall backs, he amazes me still and forever. I also know that your brother and sister are so lucky to have you as an older brother. I am so proud of you.

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Twin Talk

The Squids are coming into their own, more and more they are true gnomes becoming the funniest little people I have yet to meet. Here they are in all their glory. They are excited…can you see it?
Sara, what is your brother’s name? Sess
Seth, what is your sister’s name? Can you say Sara? Bitty
Sara’s words:
Sass = Trash.
Sometimes the trash can be a little sassy. Pew…what’s that funk?
Buh bye = buh bye
I’m leaving with you….let me get my shoes…NOW. (insert screaming toddler)
Gee gee = Ginger
The family Bulldog.
Kee = kitty
Do you remember the girl from the Looney Tunes?
I want to hug them, love them, pet them, yeah, she is pretty ape shit crazy over kitties.
Shoos = shoes
Pretty clear on this…she manages her way into my closet and clomps around the house in my heels. Impressive for a two year old toddler to manage 3-5inch heels.
Ugh ugh = That
Grunting that suggests she wants whatever the hell you have….fork it over.
All duh = All done
Whatever I am doing, eating, pooping, getting into trouble…all done.
Shit = Ship, chip
We really have no effing clue. She uses it frequently and in the correct text. We are thinking shit is shit. All duh.
Seth’s words:

Shoos = Shoes
Gingrr = Ginger
The “e” in Ginger is just completely silent or more of a “u” sound.
Spee = Fork, spoon
We know he wants utensils when he asks for spee
Ny Ny = Night Night
Hi Ho Hi Ho off to bed we go.
Ah = Bye
Just a quick wave is the only indicator of the word he is saying.
Dada = Mom and Dad
Whomever is in range of his parental demands gets the Dada call
HELL-LOW = Hello
The happiest hello you will ever hear…ever!
Doh = Door
He has an OCD obsession about doors…clearly gets the door part from him father.
Oh nee = bologna
Yum buddy!

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