Tag: raising twins

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Multiple Question…..and Multiple Answer

An outing in public with twins is always an interesting ordeal. I mean the whole thing is an urban safari with all the miscellaneous gear and crap you have to take…..ridiculous! But the best part…is having fun with those who are the poor souls who do not have multiples and have deer in the headlights when they see you and they ask you these “Here’s your sign” questions:

My all time favorite and most asked

Q: Are they twins?
A: Nope. I thought the other one in the nursery was so cute I had to take it home.

Q: Oh…..a boy and a girl?
A: Nope, my other son felt like wearing a lot of pink today with that cute bow on his head.

Q: Oh, you must have your hands full?
A: Nope…you see my entourage of help….I got it covered. (As I am looking aimlessly behind myself, like can you see that there is no one else around)

Q: Do twins run in your family?
A: Nope, hubby and I made the decision to go get a turkey baster and see how many we get.
(Yes they do….and Nun ya!)

Q: How far apart are they?
A: Um…like a minute? (WTF really?)

Q: Are they yours?
A: Nope I got them from the “Twins” outlet and thought I would stroll them around for the day and see how I liked them. (again….WTF?)

Q: Are you getting any sleep?
A: (crickets)

Q: Are they identical?
A: (crickets…do they not see the blue and pink?)
The best part about that question is that I had an “identical” twin ask me that…I about fell over.

Q: Can you tell the difference?
A: (I badly want to answer…between a moron and a smart person?) Yes

Q: Can you tell which one is crying?
A: Generally the one with their mouth open. I can tell the difference between each of their cries…that’s easy.

Q: Oh, you must be so busy?
A: Nope that is why I am running through here and you stopped my beeline…because I am soooo not busy.

Q: How do you do it?
A: (I answer honestly) I don’t know…I just do…you can’t stop and think about it.

Q: (The bold) Did you gain a lot of weight?
A: I smile, want to give the bird and walk away.

Q: Are these your first?
A: (As I am yelling at G to quit climbing on things and he responds telling me ‘No Momma’) I smile

Q: Are you done?
A: Um…yeah like two kids ago I was done.

Q: Are they good?
A: Dunno…haven’t thrown them on the grill yet. Oh you mean the kids……

Last but not least….my all all time high and favorite thing to say to me about twins and so not an original…………………………………………………………………………….

I’M SURE GLAD IT IS YOU AND NOT ME.

With that I want to say a big F*#% You and have a great day! I was told that if you don’t have anything nice to say…….don’t say anything at all.

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Parents and Children

We all say it as potential parents. We say this to ward off the evil wrongs done to us by our parents. We say it in spite at times. We all say that we will treat all of our children equally and with fairness. But really? Do we?

NO!

Not one person can say that they treat all of their children with fairness and equality, unless of course you only have one child. In that case of a single child, no other children are vying for your attention, affection, and approval. If you can say you treat your children equally I stand here telling you…You are a liar! Each child, probably with some difference in age, will require different needs to be fulfilled and honestly you feel differently for each child which by human nature results in a different outward display. This is not a flaw, just a stated fact. I have viewed this behavior by my own parents.

True equality happened to me with multiples. In all seriousness. One Mommy, Two babies and they are both crying….which one do you pick up? If you pick up one the other is still crying and visibly more upset because you picked up his or her twin and vice versa. What do you do? In my case I picked up both. I breast fed both at the same time, changed them at the same time, dressed them at the same time, bathed them at the same time, spoon fed them at the same time (and I am not ambidextrous by any means), everything happened to them at the same time. Not only did this allow for some serious time management for my oldest, but allowed me to sleep and accomplish a few things.
Now the tough part will be their needs as older children since one is a boy and one is a girl. However, I also have big G to think about too. The other day was a tough one as a mother as I told him that the toys he was hiding were for the babies, he could play with the toys, but he had to play with the toys with the babies. He hated this! So I asked him if he wanted to be a baby and he told me NO. Okay, case closed, so I then explained the difference. I also made sure that I spent equal amount of time playing with him as I did the other two so that we all were spending time together. I also made sure that he got his special time alone with me just as the other two do. I have to say that being truly equal is the most time consuming, emotional experience that happens to a parent. Normal human instinct is telling you to go with the flow of the three kids and tend to the one that needs the most attention at that time….well, who dictates that? I think as parents we have been trained that way and in the end each, child is put into a role for life!

My oldest is my oldest by time, cannot deny that. However, G is not my babysitter, G is not the babies surrogate parent, G is not responsible for his siblings, G will not be put in the perfectionist spot of most oldest children. I say this knowing that my son had obvious flaws that I love, I always want him to do his best and when he gets older he will not be the automatic babysitter. If he WANTS to baby-sit he can, but he won’t be expected to. As for the twins, I will always do my damnedest to treat them as individuals but they will be loved and treated as equally as G all the time. Alrighty….enough of that heavy stuff….off to a fun rant of sorts.

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The Twin Side of Life

So we all know twins are tough:

Double feedings
Double Diaper Changes
Double the Crying
Double the Trouble

DOUBLE EVERYTHING!!

But on top of that is getting to the double everything. What everyone, including myself, seems to forget is how fragile a pregnancy can be, let alone a twin pregnancy. A twin pregnancy is double the eating, double the worrying, double the “take it easy”. Some things however are even more double. Twins are like this: di-zygotic and mono-zygotic….I know I lost you. But to a MOM (Mother of Multiples) you know exactly what I am talking about and the difference this makes to your twins. My kids were di-zygotic in that they each had their own pod and their own placenta, where my previous twins that Chad and I lost in 2005 were mono-zygotic where they shared the same pod and probably the same placenta and they were transfusing blood to one another. This sucks!
So on the other side of twin life, when we heard our friends Mr. and Mrs. Jason Palmer were having twins we both laughed in joy (since they told us we were screwed and we laughed at their karma). But our joy has now turned to concern and unstoppable and unending prayer for these two folks who told us that their twins are mono-zygotic (and probably 99% identical). On Tuesday, Jason (a dear friend of Chad’s who he worked with @ Smith) told us that Baby B isn’t looking so good by the ultrasound and that they had two options:
1. Take it week by week to see how he does and then take them out at Week 28 to save them
2. Clamp off Baby B to save Baby A.

As a parent you know that you cannot choose one child over another and that you would gladly take their place. For these folks, they are in an awful waiting game and told Chad:

“There is really nothing we can do.”

I beg to differ! I am asking any and all of you who read this blog to please say a prayer for Jason and his wife, that their twins beat the doctors prognosis and that they get to enjoy these two beautiful gifts that they have been given, that all will be alright, and then they get to complain to us all that Chad and I know as parents of multiples.

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Gadget Girl

Here is Gadget Girl again on the move here at home……we found she loves these things:

1. Fleece blankets
2. Her BFF Seth
3. Organic Apple Sweet Potatoes
4. The Cable remote
5. Mommy’s cell phone

Beware of Gadget Girl coming soon to a home near you! Be sure to lock up your fleece and electronics!

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annndddd……THEY’RE OFF!!!

Well not totally…..but one of them is, the squids that is. We are officially mobile! While she has been mobile for about a month now, I have not be able to capture on film until recently this exciting moment.

I warn you……watch with extreme caution……