The long road to parenthood. Trials, tribulations, struggles and heartbreak led us to our beautiful gift. He was so aptly named Grant. Our gift. We sputtered as new parents,
bumbling at times, our decision was “no more kids” for some time. Until we jointly agreed (albeit we were suffering from honeymooners syndrome while at a wedding) to try for another baby to complete our family. Shortly after this decision we found we were pregnant…with twins.
Laying naked upon an operating table as my uterus suddenly becomes a treasure chest to root around in for the prize, we again made the decision for “no more kids.” However, not but a month later as we sat oogling the miracle of our twins we began to gaze into one another’s eyes. I let the following statement fall flat, out of my mouth, “You know…we could just have one more?”
Wait was that a statement or a question looking for justification. The Chad looked at me and said, “Dude are you nuts!? How many twins have we been pregnant with and delivered?” and just when my postpartum tears began to flow he chimed in with, “Babe…I have thought about another baby too…” and he let his words hang.
Flash forward two years, past an entire YEAR of tandem breastfeeding, tremendous weight loss and weight gain AND weight loss again, teething, crawling, walking, talking, and now peeling the paint off the walls. Bold escapes, kindergarten, going from mama to “mom,” we have reached yet another milestone as a family.
On Monday March 22nd we will close a chapter, the end of an era, I am and will endure a small bit of grief as we move forward in our lives, as The Chad visits a urologist. Yes. A urologist. The trodden track to say goodbye to his ever powerful little swimmers. No longer will the crew (semen) of the Navy ship “Joey” swim my sea of “Freeda” to resuscitate my drowning gametes. No longer will my uterus be host for a beautiful little parasite. We are done having kids.
I am relieved and saddened all at the same time. I am sad that I will no longer experience the joys of a first smile, the first tooth, crawling, first steps, no more firsts. Because motherhood has become so much more to me when I had the twins. My great feat was to have children. With the birth of my first, Grant, I was overjoyed, when we decided for a second we really got a double! But the first feeling that waves over you when you hold your child after birth, that first is one that I will cherish for each pregnancy, child, no longer will I feel that feeling except as a memory. Bittersweet and grateful for my elephantine memory.
But we know this is best. We have agreed that if we do not follow through with this decision and we do get pregnant, we might as well call a TV network. We had better start working on getting pregnant again because after, one singleton pregnancy and delivery, three twin pregnancies and one full term twin delivery is statistically proof enough that we will have more twins and enough to tell us we are NUTS if we do not go through with this decision. So on Monday we have a consultation to bid farewell to his boys.
Ever so grateful that we can count our chickens as they have all hatched. Forever we shall be “The Five Fish” and I could not be more happy and thankful for my family just as we are.
Oh wow! What an amazing post – had me almost in tears!
And then I almost laughed when you described his semen. Only you have that talent 🙂
Congratulations on a full year of tandem breastfeeding! I know it is possible but it isn’t without its struggles, so you deserve a round of applause. I did a different kid of tandem nursing – a toddler and a newborn. That was interesting, and ended after two short months.
I can’t imagine the emotions you are feeling. And it sure takes a strong man to go in and do what he did. Way to go Chad 😀
Seriously I thought about taking that line out Annie but I laughed at it myself because such a feeling to know you won’t have kids anymore. The grief and relief all in one.
We haven’t fully decided, but I think I’m done….
LOL that’s what I said and we were surprised by twins.
Ahhh, if only I could convice dear hubby of the same.
Aw. That’s a wonderful way to think about it-‘An end of an era.’ Not to mention one heck of a funny and nicely worded post! It’s understandable to be both sad and happy so there is absolutely nothing wrong with it 🙂
Good for the both of you taking this step towards the future!
I decided to have a tubal ligation at the time of my second c-section. Although it was a decision I know is right for us, it is still a decision that makes me feel wistful sometimes. Hope your husband’s visit is easy-breezy. A few friends of ours have had that type of visit and they said it wasn’t too bad.
Marilyn, you know we thought about that too, but we were so worried with having the twins and premature no less that IF anything went wrong or we experienced a loss that we had options. Plus I figured it’s his turn to endure some pain. 😉
haha very funny post Karie. Besides the five fish sounds a lot better than the six squirrels or six snakes.
Such a funny post 🙂 You crack me up. Not to make light of what was very painful for your family but could you imagine a tv show? You guys would rock it! Family of 5 🙂 There are days when I think that I am done but then there are months (like this one lol) that I want another. Some days I feel like we are missing someone. People think that I am nuts b/c I will turn 39 next week but I can’t shake it. Hubs is on board. Hmmm….
Have a great weekend mama!
Jessie seriously! Could you see any of us with a show? What a riot! Oh and another baby…can I tell you I am jealous just a bit. I’m rooting for you with whatever you decide woman.
you know sometimesi wonder myself…Dave isn’t too keen on having another child and I am wavering on if we should or not…sigh…any suggestions on how you truly know if you wish or know you arer eady for a nother?
What a great post! It is such an emotional journey that only we can know when it is right. We made that tough choice as well after 2 miscarriages, one healthy son, our second son being stillborn when I was full term, and a pink burst of life in our little daughter. It sounds as though you are at peace with your decision…well, as much as one can be.
Looking forward to meeting you at BloggyBootCamp!
Amy,
I tell you that those miscarriages are rough. We felt it was something we did wrong and then realized the cards were just that we were not to have those babies for some reason or another and we found peace that way. I think our decision is that we love the children we have and if we want more then we can always adopt or reverse the procedure (if possible…which I doubt) but we know that if we want more we have options. So glad you stopped by and cannot wait for bloggy boot camp!
awww Karie you’ve been through so much.
So question did you really name “it” Joey? ROFL
LMAO…nope…that is Chad’s pet name. I did however, name her Freeda. ROFL
Sorry I haven’t been around. I have a hard time commenting on your new blog during the day during my break!
I know it has to be tough, but you’ve talked about it and planned for it, right? And, when the time comes, you bet you booty, I’m sending my hubby to the urologist, too!
DOOD no worries. We all have lives. 😉
We did plan for it…but still its that final goodbye to the option of another child. However, we know we can always adopt….if we are really serious about another.
You didn’t share this bit of info with me! Goober! I personally feel like it’s only fair for the man to go in for the big snip. I mean, we go through a shit ton of pain being pregnant and having kids, it won’t hurt them to have their balls snipped once! LOL! I’m so mean! Anyway, I felt the same way when Chris got the snip but it’s so wonderful knowing that I don’t have to be on bc anymore and we’re free to “mess around” anytime without the worry of another pregnancy. LOL! Kudos to you for raising three kids let alone twins. I’m content with my two, I don’t know if I could handle three. You are an amazing mother! I love you sister!
Dude I thought I told you!? I suck. Sister I am so with you that the men DEFINITELY should get the old snip a roo! We too are SOOOO looking forward to teenage messing around without the worry of ANOTHER set of twins. LOL I love you woman and miss you.