My Most Reliable Appliance

My appliances have caused me a great amount of grief lately. Truly I begin to despise them as they throw a kink into my absolutely (perfect) functioning, chore completing world. Especially since I fired the maid, chef, and laundromat for the next 16 or more years requiring I do these tasks on my own.
Okay, really I did not fire them….but man I wish I had help like that on some days.

So my appliances must truly hate me. The first appliance to go was the washer. Easy fix, we bought new ones courtesy of a large “donation” from DH’s boss a few years ago, I got a fancy front loader and matching dryer. (see my abundance of laundry in my utility room….it looks much more organized now….HA!)


The next appliance to take dump was the water heater….when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with the twins. Yeah, that was fun. Prego with water gushing everywhere and the water wasn’t mine….needless to say when you are as HUGE as I was where even the XL maternity clothes were not fitting and you see gushing water….you wish it were yours and prayed for mercy. So a trip to the Home Depot later and voila! New water heater.

Another appliance to slowly make an exit was a MUCH needed appliance in any HOTTER THAN HELL household….the air conditioner. My A/C unit was as old as the house, which is as young as me….not energy efficient, always running, never cooling…. I’m seeing a pattern. Anyway. We replaced that bad boy last September and I have been in heaven since. I have to wear a light sweater at times.


So again I had an appliance take another dump……again……I was fuming with frustration. Seriously I never have problems with appliances. The washer again began to act up….luckily I had my wits about me to research the error code to find that the problem was a clogged boot. Yes, on the bottom of front loaders is a lint boot that catches everything. I do mean everything. The smell was ripe! I mean I have smelled rotting flesh that smelled fresher than the stench emulating from that washer. Candles were lit and doors opened to air the shit ass stench! P YOU

In fact this is what was pulled out from the washer and let me tell you what they are: a bra underwire (clearly mine unless someone is wearing this for moobs in this house), two dimes, a penny, a one dollar piece, a house key that was trashed already and a breast feeding pad. One of those you use to soak up your let down so you don’t walk around looking like a wet cow all day. That was the NASTIEST thing I had ever seen. Took some investigation, but N.A.S.T.Y!

Now on Monday night we finally had our first “monsoon” for the summer. Just like sex though, hot, wet, quick, and after it leaves, sometimes a bit disappointing. So the old summer storm rolled in bringing lots of thunder, rain, lightning. Well the lightning I suppose caused a problem for some folks. Namely me. You see I have this appliance that washes dishes for me….so I do not have to stand over a sink ruining my beautiful hands.

Yes, that appliance. The appliance that if died again would be the bane of my existence! I hate dishes, laundry I can handle. Dishes, I CANNOT! Not sure on the reasoning, probably all the nasty food issues and yuck. But I am not a dishes girl. So this appliance failed to work, resulting in a service call. The guy came out, charged $69 and voila, fixed. He pulled the panel off, reset it, bam, works again. DH was not happy with this but as I suggested….not like he was going to dig around in the old dishwasher.

So this post brings me to the only reliable appliance I own in my house. This appliance needs no batteries. No switches. No need to turn off or on. I am always so thankful this appliance is there when I need it most.

(picture courtesy of Eden Fantasys)

14 Replies to “My Most Reliable Appliance”

  1. hahahaha! at least you have one thing you can rely on (and really, i think that may be the most important. wink. wink.)!

  2. So this is funny, I'm reading this at work and can't see the pictures but I have a pretty powerful imagination (and great 'sleuthy' skills) and I just know what's there, LOL!

    Glad you have that one reliable appliance!

  3. LMAO!! Too Funny. I am so jealous of your front loading washer and dryer. I so want one. My washer is ancient. Our water heater went a couple months ago. Big wet mess in the basement. I so need central air! I hate having only 2 Window ACs. Have a great weekend.

  4. I'm giggling and turning my head like a bashful school girl, but with 7 kids we no I ain't bashful!

    Hugs and Mocha,

  5. Seriously…at least you know this thing will never…let you down on the job! Muwahahahahahahaha

  6. hi karie,
    thanks so much for stopping by and for the sweet bday message! 🙂 also thank you for thinking of me for the bloggy award, your words were very special!! thank you!!!!!
    now for this post… i have had the WORST luck with appliances lately well actually my "ex" notice the "ec" nanny did break just about every appliance in my house… she was a real pin! ahhh but my frontloading washer, i HATE it!! i'm going to have to save up for a new one because of everything that needs to be replaced… but the other day i had a huge flood b/c there was a "pin hole" stuck with a little pice of what looked like a kidney stone (i know bc of course i had these lol) and it messed up the water leveler… ahhhhh anyhow on the positive side my floor was spotless… lol

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