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You Might Die Having More Than One Baby…Well Not Literally

My reaction to having twins was pretty much like all other mother’s or soon to be mothers who found they were having twins.

WTF!!??

Seriously. I did not sign up for this. I was crazy enough to sign up for ONE. Let alone TWO!

The journey of life begins. Every mother/soon to be mother’s fear is the loss of the pregnancy until about week 12 or so. The fear subsides. Sometimes the morning sickness. Heartburn is a daily visitor. Urinating is like breathing….you don’t realize you went so much until you see your water bill the next month from what seems like continuous flushing. And finally the time comes when the two little faces you have come to know as Baby A and Baby B, blurry, splotchy, and skeletal, greet you with white filmy, pink flesh, cries, crying, tears, joy, sorrow, shakes, unknowing, fear, terror, pain, defense, a rainbow gamut of emotions.

I wanted to make sure my kids were alright. I was put at ease to know they were. They still are. Bounding, giggling, sqwealing, wailing, whining, crying, and carrying on, they are more than alright. But before we got to the alright, I really was not sure if I would be alright.

I was not sure if I could go the distance. I saw my skin stretch to the point of being a cast member on a Sci Fi world premiere television event. My back, hips, and knees were in so much pain, I was thankful for the winter season in AZ so I could sport compression stockings 24-7. I quite literally thought I would die. Twin pregnancy sucked. Pregnancy with a singleton sucked, but nothing compared to my two for one deal.

So when I met them and I was ponder how the hell I would manage. By Myself. All Alone. I thought I was going to break. Yes I have DH. Yes he is a great help with changings and baths and the like. But the rest was all me. You see I was the one with the lactating breasts. I was the one who had two. Lactating. Breasts. And so I did it. I breast fed both my twins. At the same time, one on each breast. For each feeding. Never missing a beat. Never, if hardly ever giving a bottle. With the exception to boost caloric intake for Sara who was a lot smaller and needed more, even though she was six pounds at birth as a twin. But I did it. Until I thought I was going to die. Until I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was losing every inkling of who I was as a person. As a woman. A wife. A caregiver. I need to break what I was doing for my own metal condition. To prevent a complete breakdown.

I had many. Breakdowns. I would put the kids down for their nap time which was every 2 hours give or take. And then I would find a nice spot in the house to retreat and ball my eyes out. I didn’t ask for twins. I didn’t have fertility issues. I was and am a good mother…why was I cursed? Why was I given this ultimate challenge, the job to top all jobs, an early death sentence, why me? I asked this for six months after the birth of my Thing One and Two. What was I to learn? Had I not suffered and struggled enough in my young life that NOW. NOW when I can enjoy being a mother I am tossed this curving knuckle ball to beat out into center field.

So I suffered through the pointless comments, stops, gawks, and gasps about having twins. The daft and the bold of fertility issues which most assumed was my issue. NO ONE has twins that are boy girl. (Um…okay….did you miss sex ed.) I dealt with it all. The nasty, the insane, the unbelievable, even the codependents who clearly thought I was unable to care for two children at the same time. As if I was the Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman or something.

At about 10 months I knew I was going to make it. Life got easier as I weaned (Sara…not so much the Seth-En-Stein) off the boob and into a hand held baby bottle to go! Bottle feeding was easy as they were able to hold things on their own at that time. Then when the sitting up really was in full force the high chairs were rotated into the house. Meals got easier. Naps were still consistent. I was a free woman again. I could leave the house and not worry if I was going to have saucer size messes all over my shirts if I didn’t move fast enough through a store to get home for a feeding.

Things got easier because I kept them on a schedule. From the day they were born they were on a schedule with me. I knew if they deviated life would be hell. I wouldn’t sleep, I would suffer, they would suffer, DH and Big G would suffer with me.

The one year mark passed and I wondered where the time went. I still wonder. I thought life would get easier with them. Which life did, get easier, for a short moment. And then they both started walking. Climbing. Almost running now. My house is on a constant Def Con 1 status.

But being a mom of twins gets easier. I am able to enjoy these moments as they entertain themselves. I am not always the playmate, which sucks, but is a life saver all in one. I watch them now “twin talk” to each other. I watch them watch us and learn. I watch them turn into loving people before my eyes and I wonder where the time has gone.

Big G told me the other day how much he loved me and that I was a great mom. I didn’t know what to say. I welled up and felt the burn in my cheeks, my nostrils flared, and I wondered where the time went. He tells me how much he appreciates the organic juice and milk boxes for lunch, that I cut his sandwiches into triangles, that I picked him up from school with his brother and sister. And I wonder where the time has gone. That my boy no longer gazes at me like I am the most beautiful woman on Earth, but that I am the woman who knows him best. Moreso than his father. He looks at me and smiles and tells me how much he loves me. The twins fight for a seat in my Indian Style lap, each wanting a prized thigh to hold them. And I wonder where the time has gone that they used to feed until they couldn’t eat anymore, gaze up at me and pass out.

I really thought I was going to die with twins. But if dying means that you get to enjoy all that life gives you, with twice as many hugs, twice as many smiles, and yes…twice as many diapers. I wouldn’t change my death wish. Life with multiples isn’t easy, but what is easy is the love you feel for these people who came into your life when you thought you truly were damned.

I am proud to have enjoyed Grant as my oldest, he was my teacher on being a mom. The twins are only helping me perfect the fine art of evolving motherhood.

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Girls Aren’t Always Sugar and Spice

Girls are not sugar and spice and everything nice. Unless of course you are talking about the way they smell. And even then…some girls, chicks, and women are questionable. Whew!

So my Little Bitty is coming into her own. She is truly an independent child. We knew this from birth that no doubt she would be a spit fire. Sara came into this world with her eyes wide open not making a sound. She was already planning mass manipulations of our emotions. Even now though she is ever so curious. Her inquisitive mind wants to conquer, touch, explore, have, hold, and steal what her brothers do not share.

While I was taking a moment to go out to DH’s office which is literally 20 feet from the back door, give or take a foot or so, to drop off some paperwork that needed to be handled I thought all was one in the house. Big G was positioned on the couch watching an educational program about sponges and starfish (*cough Sponge Bob *cough) and the twins were playing together with Tupperware and the sorts, causing a mess that I could easily swoop up later in a dash. I was in the office literally no more than five minutes. Enough time to drop off my paperwork, say a few words to the hubs and back into the house to maintain order and finish my other work.

I come back into the house to see a few Goldfish strew through the kitchen and fireplace room, thinking nothing more than another mess to clean, I looked over to see this!!

Yes that folks is my Little Bitty. Sitting on my island. In the middle of my kitchen. When I came in she was originally positioned in the middle of my ceramic cooktop launching Goldfish into my fireplace room. She unrolled a roll of paper towels and was working on my SOLID GRANITE mortar and pestle. Thankfully she did not tackle that….I could only imagine the destruction caused by the heavy stone. I sent Big G off to grab his dad so that I could 1. get help cleaning her destruction and 2. proof that she is not the glowing angel she portrays to be.

My little “girl” or mountain goat is what I should call her. Pulled a dining chair from the table and began her ascent. Obviously did not take her long as I was not gone for long at all. Our table was promptly moved from the area where it was closest to the kitchen island to prevent further incidents….however, she managed to comquer the kitchen table again…with an accomplice (Seth, of course) and they began to chuck glass candles off the table. I can see them now….hiding out on the roof…throwing water balloons to poor pedestrians in the future. Hopefully they grow out of this!!

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Am I living in a Hitchcock Movie

I wonder this so many times while cruising through the blogosphere. I guess I am blessed, lucky, per chance maybe that I have a great network of readers. Bloggers that truly have great content. I made a conscious decision the other day to “weed out” some true bullshit. Stuff that I was following for the sake of following but did not enjoy the content.I am finding more like that everyday.

I kept my very special reads….who lately I have failed to comment….but at least I see them on Facebook so at least I can keep in touch that way, but I had other reads that were quite frankly airing on the side of feeling chagrin. You know that feeling….the one where it is like….SHEESH, are we going to beat that horse again. Or are we past that yet? I mean I truly feel like I am in an Alfred Hitchcock twist of the Twilight Zone because my bloggers that I did enjoy are now part of the disease infested bloggers that I did not enjoy. The blase ones who think they are superior and really they are no different, they just have a larger bank account and bigger PR backing. The ones who just want to wreak of misery and bullshit about “OMG, Girl, did you see what she wrote on her blog?” and the “Unt uh, no she didn’t…I am so with her…I am so sick of that.”

When did blogs turn into high school?

A bunch of women. Grown. Child rearing. Child bearing. Grandmotherly. Women. Who act like a bunch of juvenile brats? I guess like I said I was stuck in Smallville reading about how other mom’s were struggling to maintain a level of sane like I was everyday. Frustrated about what to cook because frankly the day sucked and Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, Dominos, heck Taco Bell seemed more tantalizing than cooking. I was in Smallville enjoying the simple things of being a mom, the complex, the ordinary, the extraordinary, the fun, the sorrow, the laughs!! So when the hell did blogs turn into a “Well I am hanging with the cool chick and we are going to do this and take a stand” and when did women, who all share the same passions turn into enemies. Not even frenemies…well some, but not all. Was I in the twilight zone?

I guess this was my reason for not blogging either, other than my desire to read. To reconnect with my family and get through this hump of school and get back into a grind, a groove, the routine of life with my school aged son and now toddler twins!

I’m really curious if anyone knows what the deal is with blogs, with the bloggers? What happened to leaving well enough alone?

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Back to School Blues

I really thought that everyone but me would dread returning to school. I counted every day and hour like they were my last. Yearning for that moment…..OF. SILENCE.

Hence, the moment never came. Yes, Big G is off to a full day of kindergarten. Last year was the young learner kindergarten because of his age, plus the program truly helped him develop those wonderful social and emotional skills when trekking off to the big bad world of education.

So he left the first day and with all honesty I sat around waiting for the call. The call to tell me he did something absolutely horrid. That he was a complete embarrassment to my parenting skills. I thought he would not be able to make it through the day without myself and his father. We were oh so wrong.

I really did not appreciate how much of a help and a great entertainment he was to the squids. I mean they all played so well together. And now that he is at school, the twins rely heavily on me to be their source of entertainment. Not so bad, except when I took my days to feed my reading addiction….which I am still having withdrawals about….so I am going to Barnes & Noble tomorrow for more reading…..my laundry and cleaning really piled up. Although, when Grant is at school, when the Squids find something they are interested in and leave me be then I can get A LOT done.

My other misconception that I had about the fatal return to school was that he would be bored. I am so glad he is not. Kindergarten is working on counting to 20 right now….which is mere child play, pardon the pun, to Big G. He can count to 100 and almost to 20 in Spanish. So when we pick him up everyday, we are so glad that he is telling us how much he loves school. The last few mornings he has even gotten up early enough to watch his little bit of cartoons, sing in our ears how excited he is to go back to school, and he isn’t arguing.

I think the back to school blues have got to be for the parents because I am so lucky to see that so far so good, my kid LOVES school, and I love that he is happy.

How was your back to school with the kids?

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Smart Mouth Kids

I am amazed every day at what my kids will say. Especially now Big G who has done a few years of early learning before actually doing the whole kindergarten experience. Today, literally like 10 minutes ago DH challenged G to count to 20. Then he looked at me like…..WHAT DID I DO?!

Big G counted to 20, then 30, 40, all the way to one hundred and back. Needless to say the boy MAY get bored this year in kindergarten but we shall see.

Yesterday was like any other day. First day of school. The kid was wrecked as usual. His face was drained of any energy an life. I was left to pick up a five year old zombie in need of a fix of sorts. TV. The Wii. Brains. He got home explained to me his day and bolted to the Wii. Though I understood his fixation since he has been grounded since lat week. One of my many bargaining tools is the threatened loss and sale of that stupid contraption….although I use it for my Yoga.

After the Wii time he got a small snack before dinner. He ate and then proceeded to be a little pig. I try to give him credit, I mean he is five, a boy, and his father’s son. Cleanliness is not a priority and neither is tidiness. However, when I spent MANY grueling hours scrubing my floors on my hands and knees (yes…I did…the whole OCD thing right) the hairs on the back of my neck began to raise as I sat at the kitchen table and heard the small tinkling of crumbs to my recently prisitne conditioned floors.

I look over my shoulder as I see my boy walking away, making a trail of mess as he goes. I told him to be more careful with what he was doing since he was dropping crumbs and making a mess (miniscule in comparison to other messes…..like the Squids) and here is his LOVELY response.

Well just go get the vacuum then Mom and suck up all the crumbs. Jeez!

Gods and naturistic forces kept me from grabbing his neck like a wet rag needing a good wring. DH looked at me with wide eyes….and I snapped back at him that any time he felt like getting off his too good ass to help in the Maid department that I have so rightly assumed over the years, he was more than welcome to let me have a single day off. Mum was the word from him.

I will give Big G about another year before I force that vacuum upon him and we’ll see who was so smart, he will be so grateful to appreciate my cleaning and vacuuming skills then!

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I got a new drug

I hear that the road to recovery begins with admission. So I am here as an addict to tell you of my illness. My admission towards a full or at least some sort of haphazardly recovery. I know my addiction hurts, time passes and I fail to see it. I cannot get enough. My family is slowly suffering because I have avoided cleaning the house, making full, healthy and complete meals, laundry has been mounting almost like an attack.

This is the explanation for my not blogging. I have so wanted to blog. To share in my stories of what the Squids have been accomplishing, or attempted accomplishments in their opinion, the first day of school was today, how my kids are growing so fast before my eyes. I feel like I blinked and now Big G went from birth to young kindergarten to all day kindergarten this year. The gnomes are getting so big, 18 months this month and I wonder where the time has passed. Just yesterday they were having a WWF wrestling match in my abdomen for kicking space.

I feel like my addiction just in the last week has really gotten in the way. I thought I had it under control. I had not had any problems in the last 15 years until now. Now of all times. Now when my life is in peak with the soap company, PTO, my twin mom group since I am the National Rep for our local chapter and the donations coordinator…..NOW?! Why now!!??

So I am working on the first step towards recovery. I am admitting I have a problem. It rules my every waking moment that when I sleep I sometimes have correlating dreams to my addiction, to my need, my fuel, my burn. My ache for more.

But before you all get all bent on me….let me just tell you what my addiction is so we are all on the level and you can see my story, hear my story. Help me find the right support group because I know this sort of problem is on the rise.

READING

I cannot.
STOP.
READING!!

Gotcha didn’t I?

Yes I am the new found Twilight addict. I finished the entire series in less than a week. I finished Breaking Dawn in one day flat! So I am an addict to reading now that I am on a roll I cannot stop. I need more. I need more books to entertain my mind. Also helps with Big G at school so then I can read. So if you know of a great Readers Anonymous self help group I am all ears!!

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Parents Eat Free Night

Can you believe a night like that at a restaurant exists? I know I had not a CLUE that parents can eat free until DH made the lovely suggestion to go out to eat dinner last night.

WRONG!!! SO. EFFING. WRONG.

Thanks for playing babe, next time, listen to the wife when she says “Beware.”

Let me explain. You see the shiny white round ball at night? We call that the moon. Once a month, usually about the same damn time Flo drops by, the white ball of fury is FULL. Which means that my sweet little squidy gnomes, turn into fire breathing, grimoire casting, horn bearing DEMONS.

Now Seth-en-stein, not so much. The Little Bitty…..O.M.G!!

Seriously the girl is on a rampage. No stopping her. A drawer in my kitchen was open every other second. Garlic press here, spoon there, spatula yonder…….you name it, she pulled it out. EVERY. EFFING. FIVE. SECONDS. Seriously, I contemplated putting a collar around her and a stake in the floor where the rope only had about two feet of play so she couldn’t get into anything. Tupperware, stainless steel bowls clanging.

And then. When I thought her possession had passed and I did not have to contemplate my conversion to Catholicism to invest in a priest to perform an exorcism she did it. She pushed me.

Not physically, I mean she weighs a whopping 22 pounds sopping wet. She climbed up onto the dining table. Unloaded everything on it. Began to head for THE laptop, MY laptop, to hurl it like a discus in a track an field competition. So I told her NO one last time. And she screamed like bloody hell and I lost it. I walked away. I hid in a place where I could call her all the foul names I have called people that make sailors blush. And then I was fine. Until the hubs began debating the dinner debacle.

I hate dinner. Unless I have prepared a menu that week I hate trying to throw together dinner especially when I have been busy working all day. (Cleaning, blogging, gossiping with my mother…ya know…working!) No really, I have been fighting with a customer, I lost $2400 because he was scared of the FBI form….long story on that, and then the demon spawn of hell awoke from her monthly slumber. So we decided on a “kids eat free” deal! WOOT.

Not so much. Basically the dinner Gods said, “Hey Herrings, thanks for playing!”

So we venture to Coco’s, which by the way has some fantastic desserts. And the whole thing is a joke from the get go. The 20 something doesn’t know her asshole from a whole in the wall hostess puts us in a CORNER booth with twins. Um….yo…..where do we put not one, yes count them, TWO high chairs. Alrighty, a new adventure….BOOSTER SEATS!! Negative. Seth-en-stein was great, he was easy peasy pumpkin pie as Big G would say. Not the Little Bitty, oh no. Let’s throw our Crocs across the table, eat crayons, and then SCREAM bloody hell again like someone was yanking her nails from the nail beds with a pair of pliers.

DH patiently pulls her from her stance, takes her outside. I order for the kids seeing as she is probably hungry, hence the extra dose of demonic presence, and I wanted there food there first so they weren’t so cranky and then DH and I could order. They come back…..we go for round two. Negative. Even more ornery, tears, blood boiling screams, kicking. LOTS. OF. KICKING. He takes her back outside just as the food arrives. The boys eat. DH is waiting for me in the car….thinking I am gonna just bail. Um no, feed kids, then bail. He comes back, we try round three and she shows sign of interest in the tempting and toasty chicken nuggets only to begin her dive onto said table where we say EFF IT! DONE!!

As she blood boiling screams, I try to gather all the gear since traveling with a singleton and multiples is seriously a day trip safari the shit we pack. I fumble. He’s impatient, barking begins, and my growls come back. I wanted to tell the Mo Fo…um had you listened at home when I told you going out to dinner was NOT a wise plan, we wouldn’t be snapping at one another. So I take the boys to the car….yeah….car is not unlocked. So I stomp towards the front door and tell DH of his brilliant plan to send me to said car when I DON’T HAVE KEYS! I get the boys and the demon in the car….he pays…..the waiter trys to comp….not sure why. My kid is the asshole. Not like you had turrets for that moment and was freaking like she was. So we leave a hefty tip…..as a bribe that we promise never to return.

On the ride home….incessant screams, cries, no comfort in sight. Not even the blankie. I sit in total silence wanting to be a childish brat and rant this to DH:

“Nah Nah asshat! See I told you!! Not a good idea to go to dinner. Getting out of the house was not good. I told you she was a demon today, she is out of hand, you think I am menstrual….nice…nice excuse. See I WAS RIGHT!!!”

But I sat there. Completely, totally, utterly, emotionally toasted from keeping my cool, holding in my bittersweet victory. I got home…..and BALLED.

I was starving, since I didn’t get to order and not hungry all at the same time from all the chaos and BS of dealing with my baby girl who just needed to go to bed I guess. We tossed her in jammies and she drifted peacefully to sleep. The boys went to bed just as easily.

And then I made myself the best gall dang breakfast burrito!!

Eggs, sausage, hickory smoked maple bacon, fresh diced potatoes and FRESH, oh yes, FRESH homemade tortillas sprinkled with cheese. I ate till I felt like the fattest cat around. Like I was the most depressed woman crying into her Haagen Daas….in my case…..my papas y frijoles. Watched some bad TV and then went to bed before 11pm. And that my friends is how parents eat free on a Kids Eat free dinner night.

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The Head Snuggler Review

One of the most important pieces of gear we can ever invest monies towards is a car seat and the safety of our children in cars. However, along with car seats and infants, toddlers, and young children is the falling asleep factor. All three of my kids are great passengers, they can fall asleep in a matter of minutes in the car. But here is the problem:
Ah yes, the slouching head. They do it from the time they are born and as mothers we do everything we can from the time they are in infant carriers until they are old enough to not be in a car seat where they can prop their heads on their own.So over at TwitterMom’s we had the opportunity to review this great product from Melrose Kids called the Head Snuggler. Here is what Melrose Kids is all about:

Melrose Kids is a company focused on making things more comfortable for kids and just a bit easier for parents. Take a look at our products and check back often as we are always working on new ideas to add comfort to children’s lives and peace of mind to parents. We, at Melrose Kids, believe that parents are full of wonderful ideas but just don’t know how to get them off the ground. Well, you too can be an entrepreneur! If you have a great idea, get in touch with us. We’ll work hard to get your idea developed and on the market (with your direction, of course) and the best part is, we’ll pay you a royalty for every one sold! We’re a family company for families!

What did the Fish Family think about this?
To be honest, upon my first thought was “How awesome…..now how does it work?” Then when I let the information digest I began to think….”well how tight is it, will it really pull hard on my kids’ heads, can it cause choking in the event it falls too low…..etc etc.”

I have been meaning to do this review for some time, but lately….the kids just haven’t slept in the car!! And NO WAY was I going to do a review without really testing out the goods….I mean talk about false advertising. Sheesh.

Anyway, the Seth-en-stein finally fell asleep in the car. He is the worst for falling asleep and the slouch, Little Bitty is smaller and more agile, so she snuggles into her car seat without the slouch.

Here is a video that I snagged of Seth-en-stein sleeping in the car with the Head Snuggler. Now please bear with the video since I was driving and “attempting” to record the boy sleeping and how well the Head Snuggler really works!! I even turned a corner and you will see how I was jostled around while driving and recording and he.stayed.put!

Like I said, I was very skeptical about the product and the overall effectiveness. In fact, I almost gave up on trying to do the review because my kids were not falling asleep in the car. But low and behold….a day presented itself and VOILA! Kids are sleeping and Head Snuggler review here I come!! Seth-en-stein had no idea it was on his head, he would rub a tad, but not like he was trying to pull it off, just that maybe it was itchy in one spot and needed adjusting. The installation is super easy peasy too. You slide it over whatever you are going to use it on…a chair, a stroller, car seat and there are pre-cut holes for fishing the seat belt straps through depending on how the Head Snuggler installs with your car and car seat. I do have to say that if you plan on using it when they immediately fall asleep….I would say have a second person in the car. I was lucky to be at the bank drive thru when he passed out so I just pulled it over his head and he was put in place and no worries about slumping over and cricking his neck.

You can buy the Head Snuggler online and in select stores in Canada right now. Total bummer about only in Canada…but super that we can order online for US residents! The price is $20.99 plus a great low price for shipping. They also come in four fashionable and neutral styles for your kids: green with polka dots, green with purple bears (which is what I have), brown with brown bears and brown with blue bears.
I have to say that this is a great investment for any parent who hates the neck slumping and I think it worked just as they said it would.

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My Newest Baby

You must all be losing your minds right now wondering why I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant.Well I am not….will never be again….so over that!

But thanks to everyone that played along last month I have a great new business name…..and thanks to TWO wonderful ladies Carol and Tamara who helped in the winning name! I just loved them both and the combo is AWESOME if I say so myself!

 

Sudzational Faith Love and Soap Company

How freaking awesome is that?!

So without further adieu, here is the baby that I have been investing my time in lately.

Noels Bath and Body: Sudzational Faith Love and Soap Company

I also have advertising space available!
Screaming deals on it too, so let me know so we can get your space reserved!!

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PICK ME

I am a modest person by all means. I do not take compliments well, I have learned to smile very politely and show my gratitude but in the back of my mind I am running these questions:
  • What do they want?
  • Are they lying to get something?
  • Do I have shit in my teeth…dang it…forgot to floss
  • Are they saying this but behind my back saying something different?
Yeah I am a case what can I say. I am not modest with my kids…when people compliment about how beautiful and well behaved they are….I can almost feel my chest puff up in pride, my eyes sparkle, my skin flush and tighten. I KNOW I am a great mom.

So I have been told by some really wonderful bloggy women how I have a great blog….really??

I mean my purpose is to keep it real. I am a voice for PR (plus I get to try out cool stuff…um….tell me where there is an issue with that?), I am a voice for other women who go through the same stuff….so if you are wondering if a child can truly projectile vomit….the answer is yes, at a very HIGH rate of speed and velocity, viscosity is less than desirable and stench is AWFUL!! Invest in a shop vac now and some Holy Cow. Seriously…only thing I have ever used that will take the puke smell out of ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!! Okay, sorry, my tangent.

But really, I am here because I love to write. About me. My kids. As a woman. As a wife. As a Mom. As a consumer. As a student.

I really would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for someone to pick me for Type-A Mom Con or SITScation!! I know SITScation is totally sold out…but there is a chance right?! I really do not have luck…but I have a TRUCK load of faith. Not the “Jesus Loves Me” type of faith….just plain, good, old fashioned FAITH. The one where you wish upon a star, you still wish with pennies in a fountain, a shooting star, a blown out candle on your birthday.

So I am putting this out there that I am begging, pleading, asking for someone to send me to these FABULOUS conferences to learn. To spread the blogging word and seed when I come back. To learn all I can in the short amout of time available for both of these events. No I am not one of these big blogs…but really….what do you get from a big blog other than a “fluffed” up number in my opinion. My blog is small….but BIG in heart, soul and love. I know that my readers….are my friends!! They will come here and share woes, they know I follow and read them back….I am not fast…but I am the little engine that could with them. I also know that A LOT of my readers keep coming back!! They are not just a face in the follower list, they are my friends, my confidants, my sisters. We share more than a blog, we share our experiences, our lives, our “Oh good its not just me” moments that make life that much more tolerable and A-OK to operate.

Again, I am begging, pleading, and asking for the opportunity. I saw how BlogHer in my opinion was a JOKE!! I have YET to see a woman come back and tell me what she learned other than how “fabulous she looked” or “I was jipped on swag….asshats!” or “OMG I was so effed up….what happened.” To those I tell you….GROW UP!!! Sure, have a great time…but conduct yourself with some damn class, some pride, and maybe some self respect and not act like a teenage girl dropped off in the big city for a date for the first time off the farm. Sheesh!

I plan to treat these conferences as I have all other conferences I have had the awesome opportunity to attend in the past…..business with a side of pleasure. Sure have a great time….but learn. Learn more about blogging, networking, the whole web 2.0 thang as Kelby puts it.

Really, I am a guppy in the big sea of bloggers, but my voice in all aspects carries a lot farther than just this blog. So please, take a chance, send a sister to one of these great conferences…or heck one of the conferences coming up in 2010. I am your vessel, just help by putting the wind in my sails and I will show you how this girl can fly!