Tag: Karie Herring

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Twin Mommy Love

I am proud to say I am a mom to twins. Not so much for the accomplishment that I successfully carried and delivered two human beings on the exact same day and carried them for the exact same time, together, in one womb, even though it is truly a feat. But I am proud to say I am a twin mommy or a mom of multiples because I am in some really fabulous company.

Not only do we get twice the hug, kisses, loves, and smiles, but twin moms and moms of multiples are truly unique. They have an air about them that no other mother has. Not quite sure the words or how to explain this sense of being with these women, but when you are in their presence you know what I mean. I spent my Thursday night with a group of them and you feel at home with them.

So my Thursday night I was with my Busy Bee Mom group as I WILL NOT miss a meeting. That is my fix, my mom time, my night out, my two hours or more of pure blissdom and freedom to enjoy with other women. Gossiping, learning, supporting, and guiding in this job we call “Mom.” Part of the meeting was also to share your job in the club, which I will do next month (September). My job, if I did not already share with you (probably because I am modest) is that I am the National Rep and Donations Coordinator for our club.

I converse with the NOMOTC (the national level) about what we do every month and find out about conventions, conferences, and goings on about being a parent of multiples. I also go around asking businesses for donations to the club (since we are a non-profit under the IRS 501(c)(3)) to help support our moms. Our biggest campaign right now that I am running is our “Meals on Wheels” for new and expectant mothers. Which currently we have at least SIX (give or take a few) new moms that I counted at Thursday’ meeting that are expecting or recently delivered.

These moms will have their hands FULL, as we are always told (DUH!), and so we are asking local restaurants to donate a gift card for a to-go dinner for the dad to pick up on his way home to share with his family. Especially because our group is so large and so is the Valley (Chandler, Mesa, Gilbert, Queen Creek, etc) that delivering a meal to a club member can be difficult.

In addition we also ask for donations for our monthly meetings for cool swag to be raffled off. If you show to the meeting, everyone gets a ticket. At the end of the meeting a ticket is drawn and a lucky mom gets some cool swag! I have entertained folks such as Whole Foods for the organic mommies, Fry’s Food (since we all need groceries period!), Toys and Babies R Us, Target, and most recently and most proudly….some TWIN mommy business owners, successful multiple mamas, and mamas that support the Mothers of Multiples Community!!

These mamas are absolute gems if you ask me and I know I enjoy “tweeting” them up when I can. I also love one of their blogs and not to mention the books they have. You got it…BOOKS! You know how I go GAH GAH over books.

One of these mamas is Susan Heim. Have you heard of her? I have, and I just LOVE her and she is a riot! Tons of fun this lady is and FULL FULL FULL of her twin knowledge. Also because oh, she has twins! I read her book and have to say that is so refreshing to know others have been there, still there, and going there again! Being a parent of multiples brings out the best and worst and life gets easier when you know others are out there with you, sharing the same loves and pains of being a parent of multiples. Susan is awesome enough to donate some books to our club to add to our library for new, expectant, and already chasing multiples, moms! Susan RAWKS!

My other mama is another gem. She has the name of a Southern Belle and a heart of gold. Miss Shelby Tutty is the founder of Double Up Books which is a site dedicated to the sale of books about twins, triplets, and other higher order multiples. Her site RAWKS!! Her books…RAWK! She RAWKS because she is donating to our club and in response to her grateful act we are publishing a link to her website. Because when you search about twins, you get everything else BUT stuff about twin babies or twin kids. So her site is your one stop shop to find the goods on having multiples and raising a family and parenting support.

Like I said, multiple mamas and those who know the job of a multiple mama RAWK. They are one of a kind, are gems, are AWE SOME!! I cannot say enough about them and I think I am done now with all my twin mommy love to these ladies. Just fabulous for their gracious acts and support of our community. Now go check them out, because they are wonderful.

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You are what you eat

Have you heard the adage or saying:
A little dirt never hurt
Five second rule:
Pick it up off the floor before five seconds and its safe
You are what you eat

Not to get on my soap box but this is not always the case for our food. More specifically I am talking about all the yummy, juicy, food and produce we pick up at the local supermarket.

 

Did you know that they have genetically engineered tomatoes to be immune to Round Up?

GROSS right?
Can you imagine how much Round Up or other crap we ingest because farmers spray the weeds….because weeds are unsightly right? Plus those icky bugs. The bugs like bees that are becoming extinct because of insecticides, even though those bees pollinate the majority of our fruits and vegetables. Those chemicals do not dissipate, they are absorbed by the soil and the plants. Sure it may not be on the TOP of the food but what about in the dirt, in the stems, in the fruit and meat of the food we eat? Did you know that they engineer plants to bloom for one year and one year alone? Requiring high yield farmers to replant new seeds?

 

Our produce is so scary! Not to mention unhealthy.

 

I only found these facts out after attending one of my Busy Bee Twin Mom meetings and one of our moms who has a degree in Environmental Science from UC Santa Barbara, told us about all these scary and truthful facts of the food and produce we eat everyday. I mean I know that they use pesticides and etc, but I was unaware of all the genetic modifications. No wonder we all are getting cancer.

So I share this with you because I think that the information is important. The traditional food in stores is unhealthy for us and our kids. The hype on organic is not because it is organic and reduces your carbon footprint, but because overall the food IS better. Tastes better, works better with your body, does not leave unhealthy and unsafe levels of chemicals in your body.

 

Did you know those chemicals stay there? Yeah they don’t just “go away,” we don’t take them out in our BM trash, they are there for life. Imagine how your body is a living chemistry lab as all these different chemicals bind, mix, and stick to every cell in your body. And we wonder why people get cancer, why our daughters start to enter puberty at 10 years old and even younger. Milk and beef are the same way, chickens, pork, all modified with hormones, fed grain, feed, grasses, and vegetables that have all been genetically modified, altered, treated, hormonally injected.

 

Here is the BUT, that everyone is saying, “BUT, the FDA says its safe.”

 

Sure the FDA also said that pharmaceuticals are safe, but they are taking those off the market now too, are they not? The FDA also said that a pesticide that was so great in the 70’s was safe and guess what, it is no longer used…except illegally in third world countries because the risk of in Utero deformities, abnormalities and preterm labor. The FDA also said Valium was safe….but they did a 20 year study on all the effects of Valium….so tell me….if it is SOOO safe….why a 20 year study?

 

The solution?

Organic! CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Organic Co-ops. Grow your Own!

Organic is tricky but not. The USDA Certified tells you that your food is USDA organic, no pesticides, the farm has been clean for many years which includes the water the non use of pesticides, insecticides, the whole array of chemical free.

There is also the OMRI Organic Certification which certifies the products are organic without the USDA and FDA taking their slice of the profitable organic pie. These farmers farm organic, but do not have the time or money to invest in the full blown organic certification. The whole enchilada of the USDA Organic takes at least five years of a clean farm plus lots more time, money, and certifications….some farms don’t have that kind of time or fund.

There is also Organic Fair Trade. These are products from developing countries and farmers who again, do not have the time and resources for a full blown certification. However, they do adhere to organic farming guidelines.

Did you know that there is produce called Heirloom? Yup, these are centuries old, untouched fruits and vegetables that have been farmed for years. They taste beautiful, they look beautiful, these seeds and produce items are often found on Native American farms and European farms, old school, old farming, no new technology and products for generating a mass quantity harvest, just good old fashioned farming and foods.

 

CSA – A CSA is great!! I am a member of a CSA. I love them!! Fabulous is what they are!! You find a local farm in your area and you invest your monies anywhere from $100 to $300 per season to purchase vegetables, fruits, eggs, dairy, you name it, whatever that farm has to offer. And guess what…..you see how they grow it! You see how they maintain their farm, you are also buying RIPE then and there, fresh! No hormones to speed the ripening process. Because other farmers have to pick early before the produce is fresh and then try to ripen the product in a store for you to buy. Because no one wants ugly produce right?

 

Your eggs…did you know that Grade B eggs can be stored in a fridge for up to one year before sent to the supermarket for you to buy?! Yup, why do you think they have such a short shelf life…because they have already been stored for a YEAR!! Nasty!! Your Grade A eggs yeah those are refrigerated for almost as long…SIX MONTHS before you buy them in their pretty cartons in the store. Plus those chicken…literally cooped up with their only goal is to lay those eggs. If you were cooped up like that….would you be healthy? Probably not.

Food Co-Ops. These are fantastic. Again you get all the greatness of a CSA but you also get more variety such as some farmers who also have cattle, so beef, bison, chicken, you sign up, choose your pick up spot and there you go! Better than the grocery store because you are supporting local farmers, local residents (just like you), and you are helping the environment by avoiding the obsession and use of petroleum based products such as oil, plastics, diesel.

Now that I am on and about off my soap box, look into a CSA. Meet your local farmer, check out your local farmers market, taste their food! They always let you taste the fruits of their labor. We did, we got to taste fresh cantaloupe…OMG and was it the best tasting cantaloup ever. We got a watermellon and a half dozen eggs and the eggs were beautiful. Brown and tasty with more Omega-3 fatty acids than those nasty store bought. Seriously you are what you eat and do you want all that build up of chemicals and genetically modified experiments working in your body?

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Top 3 Grilling Tips and Tricks

These following recipes that I LOVE to use in my house. For one….no way you can eff them up…at all. Even if you do…they still taste super scrumptious. So here are some of my Top 3 grilling favorites for cooking:

Grilled Fish
You can use catfish, Mahi Mahi, Cod, Tilapia, and of the fattier fish and preferably a white fish, white fish is great on the grill.
Now while the fish is frozen I melt about 2T of butter (margarine) per fillet in the microwave and pour over the frozen fish. I do rinse the fish first so that the butter will seep into the fish and not bounce off and harden again. I then pour about a half cup of white wine or a chardonnay into the pan where the fish will marinate, a cup of lemon or lime juice. Lemon juice is not as acidic as the lime so it will not cause your fish to cure like when making ceviche. Then I sprinkle my favorite spices. I love a fresh lemon zest, because Arizona has an abundance of citrus here, pepper, garlic, a dash of salt. Whatever your favorite spices and seasonings. Let sit overnight or for at least 6 hours. If your fish is still frozen, A OK, throw it on the grill. Be sure to spray your grill with some cooking spray to prevent sticking. Cook on low to medium and until the fish is flaky. Voila!
Couple with grilled or steamed zucchini and yellow squash, artichokes, asparagus, or a salad and you have a filling and light summer meal.

Feeding an Army: Brisket
I love brisket. I made brisket for the first time this year for Passover/Easter and I was so damn proud of myself!! I indirectly cooked on the grill with some smoking chips to give the meat that smoke flavor and O.M.G!! I usually do not boast about my food…..but when my whole family was mmm’ing and ahhhh’ing and Oh Damn to me….I knew I rocked!

So Brisket comes in two types of cuts, first cut and second cut. I know…..fancy right. Well you want the first cut. The one that comes right off the cow’s shoulder. This has all that great fat and marbling that will make your brisket OH so tender and juicy and mouth watering.
Second cut is just as good, however, smaller sizes, looks a lot more pretty and easier to handle. Usually in 3-5 pound cuts where the first cut is 7 or more pounds and is the whole ball game.

I dig second cut. I cut it in half to fit onto my grill as I have yet to upgrade to a Grand Daddy Grill of all grills. (But if you want me to review one I would be more than happy to! LOL) But I cut the meat in half to fit on my grill. The night before I cook it I dice 4 cloves of garlic, very fine dicing. I rub each side of the meat slabs with kosher salt. Kosher salt is very tasty and so awesome for cooking, it is the rough large grain salt. You can use sea salt as well for another healthy alternative. After salting each side but rubbing the salt in really well I pepper each side of the meat and then I rub in the garlic. I let this sit overnight, you can cover it or leave it exposed to the air in your fridge. Allow at least 3 or more hours to grill your brisket especially if the cut is larger than say 4 pounds.

Heat the grill on high. Make a plate with edges out of foil to cover the bottom rack of your grill and place on grill. Reduce one burner to low and the other to med, this process is called indirect grilling and makes for some really beautiful meat. Place your meat FAT side up to help keep the meat juicy and so you do not cook off all the juice and fat. If you want the smoked taste, place your wood chips on the grill at this time away from the meat and drippings. Here is the hardest part. WALK AWAY. Yup, leave the meat to cook. Every time you open the grill and look at the meat you increase your cook time by 15 minutes!! Flip once during the cook time at least half way through. Your meat will take on that perfect smoked look, where the meat is beginning to look cooked but still burgundy in color. This is BEAUTY at its finest with brisket.

Remove the brisket from your grill. Make sure to use tongs, never, EVER, NEVER use a fork or pronged fork to remove ANY meats from a grill. This drains all your meats of their precious juices. Next let your meat rest. This will allow the meat to contract a little and the blood to re-enter the flesh to keep your brisket slices moist and tasty. After letting the meat rest for about 15 minutes, slice AGAINST the grain in thin slices and serve.
We couple brisket with potato salad, slaw, macaroni and cheese, grilled or steamed fresh veggies, or on a sandwich. You will have leftovers for DAYS, freeze some of the meat for later or invite family over for a feast!!

Dessert on a Dime
Pound cake is probably the easiest dessert to make. The recipe is on the back of any Bisquick box, and everyone loves pound cake. Angel food is another great one! Super Easy Peasy to make too….as long as you have patience or a ready make box from the store for others.

So grab a bag of mixed frozen fruit. I love the huge chunks. Two cups of orange juice and one cup of sugar. Heat the orange juice to almost boiling and slowly add in the sugar and begin to reduce the heat. If your mixture starts to thicken fast….great!! Then it is almost ready. You can also add in some cinnamon or nutmeg for a little extra sweetness. Pour in the frozen fruit, about a cup or so until thoroughly coated. Remove from heat continuing to stir. Drizzle juice over the cake and scoop out a spoonful of fruit. Oh so yummy. Even if your mixture doesn’t thicken…still a great drizzle and sauce for pound or angel food cake.

I hope you all enjoy these few recipes as much as I do. I know I love to cook and “experiment” in my kitchen with different spices, foods, and whatever I got. We try not to waste anything in this house.

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The Difference a Year Can Make

If you chronicle what happens in a year, from daily writings to even recalling shady memories, a great and amazing thing happens. You realize so much!!

This time last year I was breastfeeding my twins, I was fat, well not so much, as I lost a lot of baby weight…but was packing it back on because of breastfeeding.

This time last year my boy was struggling in all day kindergarten. Big G was doing the all day thing, but we realized that starting him a WHOLE year too soon was not best. He was throwing fits, yelling in the halls, everyday was a challenge.

This time last year DH was about to be laid off. Three years and lots of sweat and tears and he was laid off due to budget cuts. Scary when you aren’t sure where the next paycheck to pay for your groceries will come from. Especially with newborn twins!!

This year, the twins can almost open the fridge themselves to find food. They remind me of the characters from the movie “Over the Hedge” when they raid the human fridge.

This year I am down 30 pounds (just from March), working on 50 more (to be pre pre baby weight!! Yeah I was a size 4…I am hopeful) or less I would be happy. I just like to know I look good in my clothes, and I don’t have to fork out four grand for a tummy tuck I really won’t need. Thank goodness for the little engine that could of weight loss, slow and easy, and consistent.

This year, Big G is amazing!! He can color in the lines like a girl would, he gets up at the butt crack of dawn every morning excited to learn. Excited to be at school. He thanks me for making his lunch for him. And he is more than happy and excited when he gets home from school. Each day I find him more and more grown up, having grown up conversations about truly in depth topics like food, Star Wars, well I never said they were MY kind of grown up conversations…maybe his father but not me.

Amazing what a difference a year can make. I am glad that DH and I decided to take him to the young kindergarten program last year since he wasn’t quite five when he started school, and I am glad he is able to do all day kindergarten this year. He has matured so much emotionally and I am so happy for him. I am happy he enjoys school so much that this next summer….he gets to go to school then too!! Yup, summer school!! No more being bored! But we will play it by ear. Who knows, school may become the bane of his existence like the most of us.

What happened in the last year for you? Good and bad? With your kids? So much can happen in a year and in most cases even less time.

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You Might Die Having More Than One Baby…Well Not Literally

My reaction to having twins was pretty much like all other mother’s or soon to be mothers who found they were having twins.

WTF!!??

Seriously. I did not sign up for this. I was crazy enough to sign up for ONE. Let alone TWO!

The journey of life begins. Every mother/soon to be mother’s fear is the loss of the pregnancy until about week 12 or so. The fear subsides. Sometimes the morning sickness. Heartburn is a daily visitor. Urinating is like breathing….you don’t realize you went so much until you see your water bill the next month from what seems like continuous flushing. And finally the time comes when the two little faces you have come to know as Baby A and Baby B, blurry, splotchy, and skeletal, greet you with white filmy, pink flesh, cries, crying, tears, joy, sorrow, shakes, unknowing, fear, terror, pain, defense, a rainbow gamut of emotions.

I wanted to make sure my kids were alright. I was put at ease to know they were. They still are. Bounding, giggling, sqwealing, wailing, whining, crying, and carrying on, they are more than alright. But before we got to the alright, I really was not sure if I would be alright.

I was not sure if I could go the distance. I saw my skin stretch to the point of being a cast member on a Sci Fi world premiere television event. My back, hips, and knees were in so much pain, I was thankful for the winter season in AZ so I could sport compression stockings 24-7. I quite literally thought I would die. Twin pregnancy sucked. Pregnancy with a singleton sucked, but nothing compared to my two for one deal.

So when I met them and I was ponder how the hell I would manage. By Myself. All Alone. I thought I was going to break. Yes I have DH. Yes he is a great help with changings and baths and the like. But the rest was all me. You see I was the one with the lactating breasts. I was the one who had two. Lactating. Breasts. And so I did it. I breast fed both my twins. At the same time, one on each breast. For each feeding. Never missing a beat. Never, if hardly ever giving a bottle. With the exception to boost caloric intake for Sara who was a lot smaller and needed more, even though she was six pounds at birth as a twin. But I did it. Until I thought I was going to die. Until I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was losing every inkling of who I was as a person. As a woman. A wife. A caregiver. I need to break what I was doing for my own metal condition. To prevent a complete breakdown.

I had many. Breakdowns. I would put the kids down for their nap time which was every 2 hours give or take. And then I would find a nice spot in the house to retreat and ball my eyes out. I didn’t ask for twins. I didn’t have fertility issues. I was and am a good mother…why was I cursed? Why was I given this ultimate challenge, the job to top all jobs, an early death sentence, why me? I asked this for six months after the birth of my Thing One and Two. What was I to learn? Had I not suffered and struggled enough in my young life that NOW. NOW when I can enjoy being a mother I am tossed this curving knuckle ball to beat out into center field.

So I suffered through the pointless comments, stops, gawks, and gasps about having twins. The daft and the bold of fertility issues which most assumed was my issue. NO ONE has twins that are boy girl. (Um…okay….did you miss sex ed.) I dealt with it all. The nasty, the insane, the unbelievable, even the codependents who clearly thought I was unable to care for two children at the same time. As if I was the Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman or something.

At about 10 months I knew I was going to make it. Life got easier as I weaned (Sara…not so much the Seth-En-Stein) off the boob and into a hand held baby bottle to go! Bottle feeding was easy as they were able to hold things on their own at that time. Then when the sitting up really was in full force the high chairs were rotated into the house. Meals got easier. Naps were still consistent. I was a free woman again. I could leave the house and not worry if I was going to have saucer size messes all over my shirts if I didn’t move fast enough through a store to get home for a feeding.

Things got easier because I kept them on a schedule. From the day they were born they were on a schedule with me. I knew if they deviated life would be hell. I wouldn’t sleep, I would suffer, they would suffer, DH and Big G would suffer with me.

The one year mark passed and I wondered where the time went. I still wonder. I thought life would get easier with them. Which life did, get easier, for a short moment. And then they both started walking. Climbing. Almost running now. My house is on a constant Def Con 1 status.

But being a mom of twins gets easier. I am able to enjoy these moments as they entertain themselves. I am not always the playmate, which sucks, but is a life saver all in one. I watch them now “twin talk” to each other. I watch them watch us and learn. I watch them turn into loving people before my eyes and I wonder where the time has gone.

Big G told me the other day how much he loved me and that I was a great mom. I didn’t know what to say. I welled up and felt the burn in my cheeks, my nostrils flared, and I wondered where the time went. He tells me how much he appreciates the organic juice and milk boxes for lunch, that I cut his sandwiches into triangles, that I picked him up from school with his brother and sister. And I wonder where the time has gone. That my boy no longer gazes at me like I am the most beautiful woman on Earth, but that I am the woman who knows him best. Moreso than his father. He looks at me and smiles and tells me how much he loves me. The twins fight for a seat in my Indian Style lap, each wanting a prized thigh to hold them. And I wonder where the time has gone that they used to feed until they couldn’t eat anymore, gaze up at me and pass out.

I really thought I was going to die with twins. But if dying means that you get to enjoy all that life gives you, with twice as many hugs, twice as many smiles, and yes…twice as many diapers. I wouldn’t change my death wish. Life with multiples isn’t easy, but what is easy is the love you feel for these people who came into your life when you thought you truly were damned.

I am proud to have enjoyed Grant as my oldest, he was my teacher on being a mom. The twins are only helping me perfect the fine art of evolving motherhood.

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Girls Aren’t Always Sugar and Spice

Girls are not sugar and spice and everything nice. Unless of course you are talking about the way they smell. And even then…some girls, chicks, and women are questionable. Whew!

So my Little Bitty is coming into her own. She is truly an independent child. We knew this from birth that no doubt she would be a spit fire. Sara came into this world with her eyes wide open not making a sound. She was already planning mass manipulations of our emotions. Even now though she is ever so curious. Her inquisitive mind wants to conquer, touch, explore, have, hold, and steal what her brothers do not share.

While I was taking a moment to go out to DH’s office which is literally 20 feet from the back door, give or take a foot or so, to drop off some paperwork that needed to be handled I thought all was one in the house. Big G was positioned on the couch watching an educational program about sponges and starfish (*cough Sponge Bob *cough) and the twins were playing together with Tupperware and the sorts, causing a mess that I could easily swoop up later in a dash. I was in the office literally no more than five minutes. Enough time to drop off my paperwork, say a few words to the hubs and back into the house to maintain order and finish my other work.

I come back into the house to see a few Goldfish strew through the kitchen and fireplace room, thinking nothing more than another mess to clean, I looked over to see this!!

Yes that folks is my Little Bitty. Sitting on my island. In the middle of my kitchen. When I came in she was originally positioned in the middle of my ceramic cooktop launching Goldfish into my fireplace room. She unrolled a roll of paper towels and was working on my SOLID GRANITE mortar and pestle. Thankfully she did not tackle that….I could only imagine the destruction caused by the heavy stone. I sent Big G off to grab his dad so that I could 1. get help cleaning her destruction and 2. proof that she is not the glowing angel she portrays to be.

My little “girl” or mountain goat is what I should call her. Pulled a dining chair from the table and began her ascent. Obviously did not take her long as I was not gone for long at all. Our table was promptly moved from the area where it was closest to the kitchen island to prevent further incidents….however, she managed to comquer the kitchen table again…with an accomplice (Seth, of course) and they began to chuck glass candles off the table. I can see them now….hiding out on the roof…throwing water balloons to poor pedestrians in the future. Hopefully they grow out of this!!

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Back to School Blues

I really thought that everyone but me would dread returning to school. I counted every day and hour like they were my last. Yearning for that moment…..OF. SILENCE.

Hence, the moment never came. Yes, Big G is off to a full day of kindergarten. Last year was the young learner kindergarten because of his age, plus the program truly helped him develop those wonderful social and emotional skills when trekking off to the big bad world of education.

So he left the first day and with all honesty I sat around waiting for the call. The call to tell me he did something absolutely horrid. That he was a complete embarrassment to my parenting skills. I thought he would not be able to make it through the day without myself and his father. We were oh so wrong.

I really did not appreciate how much of a help and a great entertainment he was to the squids. I mean they all played so well together. And now that he is at school, the twins rely heavily on me to be their source of entertainment. Not so bad, except when I took my days to feed my reading addiction….which I am still having withdrawals about….so I am going to Barnes & Noble tomorrow for more reading…..my laundry and cleaning really piled up. Although, when Grant is at school, when the Squids find something they are interested in and leave me be then I can get A LOT done.

My other misconception that I had about the fatal return to school was that he would be bored. I am so glad he is not. Kindergarten is working on counting to 20 right now….which is mere child play, pardon the pun, to Big G. He can count to 100 and almost to 20 in Spanish. So when we pick him up everyday, we are so glad that he is telling us how much he loves school. The last few mornings he has even gotten up early enough to watch his little bit of cartoons, sing in our ears how excited he is to go back to school, and he isn’t arguing.

I think the back to school blues have got to be for the parents because I am so lucky to see that so far so good, my kid LOVES school, and I love that he is happy.

How was your back to school with the kids?

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Smart Mouth Kids

I am amazed every day at what my kids will say. Especially now Big G who has done a few years of early learning before actually doing the whole kindergarten experience. Today, literally like 10 minutes ago DH challenged G to count to 20. Then he looked at me like…..WHAT DID I DO?!

Big G counted to 20, then 30, 40, all the way to one hundred and back. Needless to say the boy MAY get bored this year in kindergarten but we shall see.

Yesterday was like any other day. First day of school. The kid was wrecked as usual. His face was drained of any energy an life. I was left to pick up a five year old zombie in need of a fix of sorts. TV. The Wii. Brains. He got home explained to me his day and bolted to the Wii. Though I understood his fixation since he has been grounded since lat week. One of my many bargaining tools is the threatened loss and sale of that stupid contraption….although I use it for my Yoga.

After the Wii time he got a small snack before dinner. He ate and then proceeded to be a little pig. I try to give him credit, I mean he is five, a boy, and his father’s son. Cleanliness is not a priority and neither is tidiness. However, when I spent MANY grueling hours scrubing my floors on my hands and knees (yes…I did…the whole OCD thing right) the hairs on the back of my neck began to raise as I sat at the kitchen table and heard the small tinkling of crumbs to my recently prisitne conditioned floors.

I look over my shoulder as I see my boy walking away, making a trail of mess as he goes. I told him to be more careful with what he was doing since he was dropping crumbs and making a mess (miniscule in comparison to other messes…..like the Squids) and here is his LOVELY response.

Well just go get the vacuum then Mom and suck up all the crumbs. Jeez!

Gods and naturistic forces kept me from grabbing his neck like a wet rag needing a good wring. DH looked at me with wide eyes….and I snapped back at him that any time he felt like getting off his too good ass to help in the Maid department that I have so rightly assumed over the years, he was more than welcome to let me have a single day off. Mum was the word from him.

I will give Big G about another year before I force that vacuum upon him and we’ll see who was so smart, he will be so grateful to appreciate my cleaning and vacuuming skills then!

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I got a new drug

I hear that the road to recovery begins with admission. So I am here as an addict to tell you of my illness. My admission towards a full or at least some sort of haphazardly recovery. I know my addiction hurts, time passes and I fail to see it. I cannot get enough. My family is slowly suffering because I have avoided cleaning the house, making full, healthy and complete meals, laundry has been mounting almost like an attack.

This is the explanation for my not blogging. I have so wanted to blog. To share in my stories of what the Squids have been accomplishing, or attempted accomplishments in their opinion, the first day of school was today, how my kids are growing so fast before my eyes. I feel like I blinked and now Big G went from birth to young kindergarten to all day kindergarten this year. The gnomes are getting so big, 18 months this month and I wonder where the time has passed. Just yesterday they were having a WWF wrestling match in my abdomen for kicking space.

I feel like my addiction just in the last week has really gotten in the way. I thought I had it under control. I had not had any problems in the last 15 years until now. Now of all times. Now when my life is in peak with the soap company, PTO, my twin mom group since I am the National Rep for our local chapter and the donations coordinator…..NOW?! Why now!!??

So I am working on the first step towards recovery. I am admitting I have a problem. It rules my every waking moment that when I sleep I sometimes have correlating dreams to my addiction, to my need, my fuel, my burn. My ache for more.

But before you all get all bent on me….let me just tell you what my addiction is so we are all on the level and you can see my story, hear my story. Help me find the right support group because I know this sort of problem is on the rise.

READING

I cannot.
STOP.
READING!!

Gotcha didn’t I?

Yes I am the new found Twilight addict. I finished the entire series in less than a week. I finished Breaking Dawn in one day flat! So I am an addict to reading now that I am on a roll I cannot stop. I need more. I need more books to entertain my mind. Also helps with Big G at school so then I can read. So if you know of a great Readers Anonymous self help group I am all ears!!

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Parents Eat Free Night

Can you believe a night like that at a restaurant exists? I know I had not a CLUE that parents can eat free until DH made the lovely suggestion to go out to eat dinner last night.

WRONG!!! SO. EFFING. WRONG.

Thanks for playing babe, next time, listen to the wife when she says “Beware.”

Let me explain. You see the shiny white round ball at night? We call that the moon. Once a month, usually about the same damn time Flo drops by, the white ball of fury is FULL. Which means that my sweet little squidy gnomes, turn into fire breathing, grimoire casting, horn bearing DEMONS.

Now Seth-en-stein, not so much. The Little Bitty…..O.M.G!!

Seriously the girl is on a rampage. No stopping her. A drawer in my kitchen was open every other second. Garlic press here, spoon there, spatula yonder…….you name it, she pulled it out. EVERY. EFFING. FIVE. SECONDS. Seriously, I contemplated putting a collar around her and a stake in the floor where the rope only had about two feet of play so she couldn’t get into anything. Tupperware, stainless steel bowls clanging.

And then. When I thought her possession had passed and I did not have to contemplate my conversion to Catholicism to invest in a priest to perform an exorcism she did it. She pushed me.

Not physically, I mean she weighs a whopping 22 pounds sopping wet. She climbed up onto the dining table. Unloaded everything on it. Began to head for THE laptop, MY laptop, to hurl it like a discus in a track an field competition. So I told her NO one last time. And she screamed like bloody hell and I lost it. I walked away. I hid in a place where I could call her all the foul names I have called people that make sailors blush. And then I was fine. Until the hubs began debating the dinner debacle.

I hate dinner. Unless I have prepared a menu that week I hate trying to throw together dinner especially when I have been busy working all day. (Cleaning, blogging, gossiping with my mother…ya know…working!) No really, I have been fighting with a customer, I lost $2400 because he was scared of the FBI form….long story on that, and then the demon spawn of hell awoke from her monthly slumber. So we decided on a “kids eat free” deal! WOOT.

Not so much. Basically the dinner Gods said, “Hey Herrings, thanks for playing!”

So we venture to Coco’s, which by the way has some fantastic desserts. And the whole thing is a joke from the get go. The 20 something doesn’t know her asshole from a whole in the wall hostess puts us in a CORNER booth with twins. Um….yo…..where do we put not one, yes count them, TWO high chairs. Alrighty, a new adventure….BOOSTER SEATS!! Negative. Seth-en-stein was great, he was easy peasy pumpkin pie as Big G would say. Not the Little Bitty, oh no. Let’s throw our Crocs across the table, eat crayons, and then SCREAM bloody hell again like someone was yanking her nails from the nail beds with a pair of pliers.

DH patiently pulls her from her stance, takes her outside. I order for the kids seeing as she is probably hungry, hence the extra dose of demonic presence, and I wanted there food there first so they weren’t so cranky and then DH and I could order. They come back…..we go for round two. Negative. Even more ornery, tears, blood boiling screams, kicking. LOTS. OF. KICKING. He takes her back outside just as the food arrives. The boys eat. DH is waiting for me in the car….thinking I am gonna just bail. Um no, feed kids, then bail. He comes back, we try round three and she shows sign of interest in the tempting and toasty chicken nuggets only to begin her dive onto said table where we say EFF IT! DONE!!

As she blood boiling screams, I try to gather all the gear since traveling with a singleton and multiples is seriously a day trip safari the shit we pack. I fumble. He’s impatient, barking begins, and my growls come back. I wanted to tell the Mo Fo…um had you listened at home when I told you going out to dinner was NOT a wise plan, we wouldn’t be snapping at one another. So I take the boys to the car….yeah….car is not unlocked. So I stomp towards the front door and tell DH of his brilliant plan to send me to said car when I DON’T HAVE KEYS! I get the boys and the demon in the car….he pays…..the waiter trys to comp….not sure why. My kid is the asshole. Not like you had turrets for that moment and was freaking like she was. So we leave a hefty tip…..as a bribe that we promise never to return.

On the ride home….incessant screams, cries, no comfort in sight. Not even the blankie. I sit in total silence wanting to be a childish brat and rant this to DH:

“Nah Nah asshat! See I told you!! Not a good idea to go to dinner. Getting out of the house was not good. I told you she was a demon today, she is out of hand, you think I am menstrual….nice…nice excuse. See I WAS RIGHT!!!”

But I sat there. Completely, totally, utterly, emotionally toasted from keeping my cool, holding in my bittersweet victory. I got home…..and BALLED.

I was starving, since I didn’t get to order and not hungry all at the same time from all the chaos and BS of dealing with my baby girl who just needed to go to bed I guess. We tossed her in jammies and she drifted peacefully to sleep. The boys went to bed just as easily.

And then I made myself the best gall dang breakfast burrito!!

Eggs, sausage, hickory smoked maple bacon, fresh diced potatoes and FRESH, oh yes, FRESH homemade tortillas sprinkled with cheese. I ate till I felt like the fattest cat around. Like I was the most depressed woman crying into her Haagen Daas….in my case…..my papas y frijoles. Watched some bad TV and then went to bed before 11pm. And that my friends is how parents eat free on a Kids Eat free dinner night.