They Said It’s a Calling but They Called Me

I have done many eccentrically brave (or daft) actions in my life. All of these actions called to me at some point, I heard them, they spoke to me, so I answered without hesitation. My first tattoo as an adult, a declaration that I am me, symbolizing my adulthood, independence and personality. Moving out of my parents home, heeding the call of the wild world, jumping feet first into the business instead of college. Still a teen (an adult child of sorts), I became the boss to a gaggle of man-children in business….see mom, being bossy paid off, leadership skills. Some of my adventures were just plain fun, others were a cascade of failure, none of which I ever regret and the remainder helped shape me to figure out this wildly interesting and indescribable world we live. All, somehow, called me to their place in time, at precisely the right moment in my life. Cresting now into my late thirties, I am answering a new call which sought me, not one where I previously was running toward or after.

My newest adventure is parallel to the paths I had previously traveling and one never imagined in my wildest dreams. Previous engagements I could grasp, they belonged in my repertoire, fitting my Alpha aptitude. This adventure I was advised was/is a calling…but would it be awful to say I never heard the ring?

You see we all know my story of being fired, just a small cascade in my ever rising waterfall of lifetime events. In order to pass my time of unemployment more productively, I began serving (volunteering) with my church. A proud servant of the Lord already, I felt my gifts in a business capacity could be utilized and to avoid any further mental degradation, as I lacked enterprising involvement in my day-to-day. One could only watch so much Netflix and Amazon Prime Instant video. I began serving within our Prayer Ministry, assisting in the administration and the current administrator, easing her burden of the day-to-day activities.

Just four days before Christmas, I was approached to apply for the ministry position the same day this staff member gave her notice. Caught off guard, I had no interest of applying, flattering nonetheless. I knew I could do the job with my eyes closed and one arm behind my back, but I never considered myself worthy to work in ministry. Not quite sure why you would need higher celestial credentials to work in ministry, but in my doltish(albeit naive) Christian mind I thought you needed to be extra holy to carry out God’s work as a business.

Suddenly I was thrown into a speed dating version of an interview process that day as well. Tremendously awkward and unsettling I was questioned about my faith, my beliefs, my story. Uh oh, they wanted to know who “I” was….the real me. Feeling nude, exposed and brutally raw I gave away my fear. Never really speaking my story aloud before, the words came fumbling from my lips, the tears, my unadulterated emotion in front of a pure stranger. As I mentioned, eccentric events and actions, bravery. For some reason I was drawn, maybe even called, to this opportunity. While much of me was saying “NO,” absolutely not, the rest of me was saying…”Why not?”

After three months of rigorous interviewing with seven different individuals…the hilariously tickling words of Monty Python come to mind, “no one expects the Spanish Inquisition;” I was finally offered the position of Prayer Ministry Coordinator. While I am only two weeks into the job, what I can say is that the challenge is real. My job is not church camp or sitting around praying for people all day or singing “Kumbaya.”

The position does entail real prayers for real people and I help to coordinate those prayers to an amazing group of people who pray as a collective; power lives in numbers, passion bursts within a community. In those times, I find myself praying, if only briefly, for those who needed and need prayer, a rewarding perk of the job to give of myself to someone else. Project management, event coordination and project implementation devise the rest of my time to share the power and passion of prayer to others who have not experienced the supernatural movement. In this job you have to be all things to everyone through managing relationships and influence to get the job done at the end of the day. The best part? I get to be me. I no longer have to pretend to be something I am not, all while doing the job I love.

If you asked me three months ago, a year ago, three years ago, I would have laughed diabolically at the thought of working in ministry. Who would have imagined my passion and love for people, to help people, to make a difference in this world would not happen through the secular means in which I previously operated. I never imagined my passion for writing, coordinating, organizing, and sharing would evolve into this blessed position. All of my exquisite resume experience as a project manager, coordinator, implementer, finance guru, my gift to see the big picture and have an unyielding passion for what I do would evolve into my love of and for prayer, my love of God, my selfless ability to give. He has such a wildly imaginative sense of humor to place myself and my gifts in a position as such a time as this. They said this job was a calling, but I never imagined He would call me.