Proud to say I have detached myself from the mommy blog cancer that explodes rather cyclically with the mud slinging and pettiness. I admit that every now and I again I will hop on Twitter anxious to maintain connections I have made only because I have had the opportunity to interact with some truly amazing women.
But when I log on and see women, acting like little girls, and encompassing their family in their small-minded attacks on trivial life items. The title should tell you what situation I refer. Come on ladies…first it was stay at home versus the working mom…now this?
I suppose a scattered number of posts have gone up on blogs recently regarding HFCS – High Fructose Corn Syrup. Then I saw the attacks go up with women who are stoutly against this food dominating additive.
Then I did some research….and then I had my last laugh.
In particular, I saw a mom try to laden her entire Twitter stream with #organic hash tags and  minutiae and just laughed harder. Why?
Do you see where my bus is rolling? Oh yes, right over the top of the bullshit I caught a whiff of, where a mom and “influencer” made a weak attempt to state that she feeds her family NOTHING but organic. Really?
![organic?](https://i0.wp.com/thefivefish.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/organic-eh-1024x613.jpg?resize=387%2C232&ssl=1)
Let’s take a gander at the ingredients of the new PF Chang’s Home Menu haute cuisine that was overlooked in the organic revolution:
Holy heart stopper Batman! Can you read this? If not I can send you some phonics that spells out nothing in this package suggests “organic,” furthermore can you NOT see the sodium levels in just ONE, yes ONE serving of dim sum. Over 65% of your daily allowance in that tasty treat. Excuse me….I must go hurl over the bullshit ingested in that. Oh and the fact that this qualifies under “pre-packaged and boxed meals” only makes me want to shove my wrist in my throat to induce MORE vomiting. Add the ogenated, preservatives, gluten and other miscellaneous non-organic and non-natural items. Hurl-a-licious baby. Makes me want to run out, buy it, eat it, and then lie that I never bought it, ate it, and gained some extra poundage to my weight loss venture. Gag me with a spoon Valley Girl. Seriously that meal could make me bulimic reading the ingredients.
Moving on now to the whip cream in a can. I love this topic, because the same mom boasting #organic like the Dems and their “ObamaCare” had NO IDEA, or maybe she did and she was too much the beguiler. Which yes, I used that word from my mostly online university education you whoreson. Ah, I digress. Task at hand, yes the ingredients of the CANNED whip cream.
So the cream is generally sweetened by…wait for it…wait for it….corn syrup. Please refer back to the first picture so you can see the canned goodness derived from cream and corn syrup.
![Copyright of Reddi Whip](https://i0.wp.com/thefivefish.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/redi-whip.jpg?resize=435%2C277&ssl=1)
There I said it. Now this mother was let me state again, a STOUT Boswell, or better a beguiling backer. She supports without merit. For those still in the 10 year undergraduate program, this is an unsupported citation. Citing information with no merit or with fault. Again, I digress. Regardless, she is pushing the fact that she ONLY, Â yes ONLY goes organic. How can you say you ONLY do organic in your home but then post a picture of your shopping cart that supports high fructose corn syrup in your diet? Because you are full of shit, that is why.
So I beg the question? Why the hell if you are such a strong opponent to high fructose corn syrup and GMO (genetically modified) foods are you eating the strongest offenders of shit in your diet?
Oh did I mention the heart stopping sodium which also leads to obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure which also leads to kidney failure among other health issues? Oh and alcohol consumption…did you know there are over 760 calories in one margarita? Drink on ass wipe. It’s not high fructose corn syrup making you fat you fuck, its the margarita and canned whip cream. Why are you going on the offense to attack other mothers who are embracing capitalism at it’s finest by agreeing to sponsored posts on behalf of the Corn Refiners and Mom Central?
Because you think you have a soap box, so let me show you some critically acclaimed information for your soap box next time you get on a rant. Which is clear your Twitter stream of posts about eating junk food, drinking high calorie alcoholic beverages, clear the fact you are a high school drop out, haven’t held a real job in years, and that your real job is as an amateur blogger..yes…I said amateur. Because when you ramble on and contradict yourself, you are a dumb fuck. Period.
If you want to know more about genetically modified foods, organic (which is merely a matter of marketing because at the base of the matter, everything is organic, everything is “organic” matter. In closing, next time you try to step up onto a soap box and preach your higher living be sure to check your soap box is not a steaming pile of bullshit.
May I just say……HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Seriously, can I come over and kiss you right now!? A big wet one right in the middle of your face xD
This post is pure genius. Plain and simple.
What’s funny is people think I am attacking in this post…I merely brought to light what everyone thinks. If you can’t write with the big dogs…well too bad. I had such a good time on this post. I have more to come. It’s too much fun not to do this!
AMEN SISTER! Can’t wait for more from ya!
Karie makes me want to bathe in delicious high fructose corn syrup and slather on the canned whipped cream for a jolly good time!
Me too! Enjoy a good lube don’t you? Seriously love a good spray of cream in me mouth too….YUM to the Oh!
Dear lover I wish I had come to your blog early to read this post! I about pee’ed in my pants. Donnie had to come see what had me laughing my arse off at 1 in the morning. I am one of those moms who took the op with CRA. Why? Because I am a redneck girl at heart and will support my neighbor corn farmers (well my in-laws and grandparents neighbors). Thank you so much for being yourself and laying it all out there. I could kiss you right now!
Remind me to find some organic whip cream tomorrow!
Good for you for taking the op! Who says you can’t take the op? My take…like I said it is capitalism and consumerism and a matter of lifestyle and no one has the right to coerce, force, or push their lifestyle or view on others. That is enlightenment and intelligence and unfortunately those who “rant” and go on and on about organic lack all of the latter. I am so glad I made you laugh. Muwah!
You rock!
You know, I was never offered the CRA op, and I probably would not have taken it. In general, I am trying to limit our sugar consumption in general, and I don’t agree with what the CRA is doing.
HOWEVER, this blogger in general is FOS.I saw it start with the whole Pampers hubbub. She was fine to take a junket from Pampers and tell us all that nothing had changed with the diapers, except that now they were better? But if some mom bloggers want a $50 Walmart gift card for plugging corn sugar, they lack integrity.
For the record, we eat pretty healthy and use cloth diapers. Most people I know that eat “only organic” wouldn’t touch Pampers with a ten foot pole…maybe 7th Generation on vacation, but otherwise, cloth all the way.
Go figure. There are no corporate trips from small cloth diaper companies.
That and the husband that follows behind to make rude twitter comments to dissenters. Apparently I am all about the drama. What ever. I just missed when the Kool aid was passed out.
Pam I fucking love you woman! After my own heart! You know we all try to do right by our kids but to act like a staunch supporter of “crunchy green I’m granola” products but stuff your fat pie hole with garbage and lie about it and people offer you to be an influencer? Seriously. So glad I am not the only one who didn’t drink the bullshit Kool-Aid
The pictures speak for themselves 😉
Right!? But my egomaniac self couldn’t help but to narrate such a fun story. 🙂 muwah Jenna!
You may be right on about some people, but others want to eat healthy and educate themselves. If you think gmo’s are OK to eat than eat them. I don’t get online and rant and preach . Eat what you want but I also see people getting online and see them being critical of restaurants and health stores and individuals and even doctors who are WAY more educated and knowledgeable than tnem. Works both ways , just give us the option to eat the way we want and you people eat the way you want. Just don’t ask that may tax dollars pay for your health care to get pills that are suppose to fix what you put in your body that wasn’t intended.