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The Space Between
The gray area. In the middle. Some where between here and there. The blend of this and that, I have found is the truth. For years I have been in the professional realm, not the “online mommy professional” realm, but in the trenches. Working for Fortune 500 organizations, small businesses, myself, dealing with hundreds if not thousands of people and even with dealing with people on a personal level I have found that in between the stated fact of someone’s word and the stated fact of bold evidence is the truth.
I threw out the jab of “online mommy” because during my heavy stint as a stay at home mom and involving myself in “mommy blogging” (gagging on the loosely use words) I found out how you can get sucked into some world that really has no meaning, really does not exist outside in the big bad world called real life.
I befriended many good-hearted, honest, genuine women. I even went as far as to befriend other women who were not so honest, because I feel there is good in everyone. But I took my loyalty too far in believing what one side was always saying and not gathering the input and point of view from the other party. By getting involved in such an ignorant fashion I opened myself up for some nasty attacks. A Twitter account attacked me in a weak attempt to break me down, to get to me, gossip was had.
I can look back now and say “What the fuck?!” How did I let myself get so wrapped up. What I found is that each person has their own perception, reality, and point of view.
Openly I can admit I was wrong in so many ways. Openly I can say that I let myself get involved in high school petty games and gossip of little girls who tramped around online acting like they were untouchables. Quite frankly some still do…I openly laugh at them now. In fact some involve their “spouses” which in my opinion make them look even more ignorant (because I need to sugar coat and not state they are total dumbshits…oh wait…too late).
What I will say is that people who are wrong will argue with you. People who are in the wrong will continue to play the victim, act like the victim, and they are always on the defense in order to protect their own ass. From there they continue to lie in order to protect the lies…no, no I mean the half-truths. And then add “friends” who begin to choose sides.
I like being Swiss. I said I was Swiss before, trying not to get involved. But now I am not involved at all, I watch from the outside, as an outsider. From the outside you can look in and find the truth in the space between the two claimed truths. I am happy to apply this to my children as well, that while I believe what they are telling me, my intuition always tells me there is more.
Do you listen to your intuition or do you listen word for word what people say? Can you believe their verbal vomit where they leave you to clean up the mess?
Two Weeks Too Long
Last night was the sweetest homecoming. Fighting the evening traffic with two anxiety filled toddlers, making unintelligible demands,whining and carrying on, the heat was beating down on the car as the air conditioning fought her fury to keep the passengers cool. Exiting the freeway into Sky Harbor we could not wait to pick up our special package.
Two weeks ago to the day The Chad and I took a road trip to Northern Arizona to meet his folks in the dirty little town of Holbrook. If you are from the area you know that if it burned in the night not much would be lost. Seriously. So we met his folks at the nicest spot in town, the newly renovated (or erected) Holiday Inn Express. We all spent the night there so that the kids could see Grandma and Papa and we could make the exchange with the boy.
We discussed with The Chad’s mom if Grant could go visit. Now the summer is WELL upon us, we needed to figure out what Grant would do for entertainment and daily activities. Now that I am working full time again and no longer “the nanny,” his days needed to be filled and or he needed to be involved in some sort of activity or organization out of the house. Considering The Chad still works out of the house at this time, Big G staying home was not the best idea either. So gratefully his mom said Grant’s visit would be a wonderful idea and we planned on just a week that the boy would visit.
Until things started becoming unstable at home with the employment situation for The Chad. Then we began dealing with the logistics of how to get the boy home. Where the exchange would happen on an odd day to cut into the work week causing a problem with myself as the sole parent managing the dynamically insane duo that are now my twins. Then the logistics of this and that and this and that. Gratefully again, The Chad’s mom offered to fly the boy home and we could pick him up at the airport.
Last night I could not have been more overfilled with joy and tears flowing when I saw my boy relaxing on the bench at the airport with his grandmother eagerly awaiting our arrival. As soon as the car stopped I hopped out to get my boy, my first born, the kid I haven’t talked to in two weeks because he is not a phone person or only talked to his dad for short stints. We both cried, tears of joy so happy to see one another and gushing at how much we missed and love each other. I know how much I love my kids, but never have I been away from one of them this long that my heart was full again.
Feeling that empty feeling like something was missing all the time, the odd quiet. People talk about how three kids or more kids may be hard to manage or are just too much; everyone wants that nice even number. I can say that I am EVER so thankful for my three kids. I watched the twins last night glow and giggle at the sight of Grant, shouting his name, and then in the privacy of home and out of the confinement of their car seats hugging their brother with their true and pure love. I also watched as his father held on that much tighter, hugged him that much longer, and spent that much more time reading to the boy we have missed so much. We love you Grant and are so happy you are home.
Hello Old Friend
While perusing my email of good old friends of new again, I decided I might pop into some of my favorite former “hangouts.” Some were the same old bullshit, promote, promote, promote, while others caught my attention. Old friends of new struggling in life, finding our way. I love those posts.
You know the ones with all he feeling, emotion, the honesty, the truth. No fluff, no smoke up the ass, no cock stroking, no mirrors. I love those posts. I love reading how real people live a real life not because they were “offered” the life, but because those are the cards they are dealt.
My life is much like that, real, raw, offensive, no smoke and mirrors, no sugar coating, no bullshit. I realized that is why I started my blog to begin with. My friend. My confidante in times where I really needed to say what so many want to say, need to say, SHOULD say.
In fact, I heard a rumor that I stopped blogging because of what I had to say.
GET the hell out? Really? I stopped blogging because I was afraid of backlash? Hardly.
Moreover, I have SO MUCH to say but have felt that my maturity and the fact that some things are better left unsaid in life speak greater volumes. Work and my family also seem to consume the majority of my time. Honestly, trying to blog when you have a job that requires a FBI background check just doesn’t jive and when I get home from work all I want to do is have cuddle time and hugs with my kids and The Chad. Why go blog when time is better spent with them.
While I blog right now, I am embracing my old friend, hugging him or her in my free moment to embrace the opportunity to just blather. I find blogging freeing again; not a job, not something I have to do in order to have killer stats or because I have an audience. In fact I am pretty sure my blog was never my job (never wanted it that way either), my stats were never very spectacular anyway and I’m totally kosher on that, and I never wrote for anyone other than myself. Maybe that’s selfish, but I would rather have someone stumble upon my writings and saying “Hey…I totally understand that!” I would rather connect and be that little gem.
My blog is my little gem of writing, even if just to blather on about random bullshit, nothingness, and the fact that life is not all fun and games and comedy and roses. But it can be mundane, ordinary, extraordinary, and fucking totally lame. That’s my kind of life.
Learning to Disconnect and Reconnect
For the last year and a half or more I spent a good majority of my life online. Sharing my trials, joys, triumphs, pitfalls and rantings on my blog. I even got into the “marketing” aspect where I could review some great products, some not so great products, and hold some fabulous giveaways.
That all ended. Will end. Is coming to an end.
You may be saying, “NO!” or “Why?” or maybe you truly could give a rat’s ass. The fact remains that I always said my life is not my blog. In fact my life made a wonderful detour on a path I was traveling without regard for direction.
I was offered a phenomenal job. One that I was leery of taking. I erred on the side of caution because of how change would drastically affect my family, my children, our dynamics. Being wrong never felt so good about how change is fabulous and ever amazing.
Being away from my blog, the people associated with my blog allowed me to rekindle a love of myself, of how precious my family is, and I have met some AMAZING friends with change. These friends are people I have a hard time not having in my day because they are vibrant, intelligent, fun, and best of all they are REAL. REAL human beings.
In no way am I knocking or belittling the relations I have built with some phenomenal women online, however, the beauty and truth of real life connections and the disconnect of the internet is amazing. I can see when my friends need to talk, their expressions when they laugh, when we have the exact same thought and how we felt as if we have been friends for ages.
Recently I am happy to say I have disconnected online. I feel the internet lately has been rather toxic, I log in to reconnect with the people I feel are truly genuine and with whom I have the utmost respect. Otherwise I have no reason to be online except to connect with them. Â The internet can be a powerful tool for just about anything and in fact your standard tool, *cough, village idiot, can use it to destroy, lie, cheat, and more. No longer is my blog a place of solace to share my unyielding love for my family, for life, I lack any desire to write because I need no vindication.
I don’t need an ego stroked, stats, products, reviews, giveaways, conferences, while all those are great, I found what I needed the most and what others may need to is to disconnect.
Step away from the PC and reconnect with real people, in a truly authentic way without blogging about it, or staging a “blackout” to disconnect about it. Reclaim you when you feel burned out by just walking away and not giving a shit. I did…and I won’t look back.
I may write again. I may talk about how my children have evolved into even more magnificent creatures in only 45 days, but for now. I am content to keeping them all to myself. Content with the ability to disconnect and reconnect with people who are not sitting behind a keyboard all day. One day I hope to reconnect with those I have disconnected with, and if not, I thank you for your kinship, your genuine and authentic selves, and for being my muse.
Save more Food with Rubbermaid Modular Canisters
Need I rant and rave and roll on about how much I love Rubbermaid? Why Yes. Yes I will. I am a neat freak when my home comes to organization. Color coding, neatly stacking, arranging, everything has a place and it is neatly put away.
I need this much organization because as a busy working mom of twins plus one I need my life to be as simple and easy as possible and Rubbermaid helps make that happen with all of their options for organizing life.
Recently Rubbermaid sent me Modular Canisters, part of their Bulk Food Storage Container line, to review and I sat on them for a few days until I had an opportunity to figure out exactly what I wanted to put in them.
But Rubbermaid doesn’t leave you to organize of your own devices, they include a great organizational sheet to inspire plenty of ideas for what to organize and or how.
So I took the sheet and sat in my pantry, grabbed my spaghetti pasta and beautifully organized it into the 21 cup container, then I took my rigatoni and other miscellaneous shell pastas and put those in another container. Then I was left with two containers and I am not quite sure what to put in them. So there they sit…in my pantry…waiting to be filled.
I have candies and granola and lots of other items and I am just not sure what to put in there.
So I want you to tell me what you would put in the 8-piece modular canisters? What would you put inside them or use them for in your home. Tell me and you can win a Rubbermaid 8-pc. Modular Canister set for your home.
Add Motherhood to Your Resume
Crazy as the notion may sound, you can add motherhood to your resume. Two words that may not consider to go together, motherhood, resume; yet mothers have some wonderful skills to be marketed. No, I am not going to pitch you and say how you can really add the title. However, I think mothers often taken for granted their abilities to truly manage some truly exceptional professional positions for free while being a stay at home parent. Continue reading “Add Motherhood to Your Resume”
Smelly Towels and Washer
Ladies do you have  a front loader washer that is just a stinker? Or how about a standard top loader, is it a stinky washing machine? Does your stinker of a washer cause your clothes and especially your towels to be, well, smelly?
As an owner of a Frigidaire front loader I adore and struggle to tolerate my smelly washer. For the most part my clothes are phenomenally clean as compared to my top loader. My clothes are also in much better condition due to my front loader. However, my front loader is a STINKER!
I have tried everything from switching to an eco-friendly laundry detergent, to air drying the washer to allow adequate circulation, to using a washing machine cleaner to eliminate the smell that can emulate from my washer.
The folks over at Smelly Washer sent me a bottle to do laundry with and to help eliminate the stench. I followed the easy directions and did a few loads empty to help eliminate the smell first and wash my washing machine. I felt that a clean washer was the first step to having fresh smelling laundry. I did several loads to be honest. My nose does not tolerate foul scents at all.
After allowing the crystals (substance) to clean the inside of my washer I decided to toss in some loads of laundry and really put the claim to the test of taking out the smell. The first load, a small stench still existed, probably remnants from the “colonic” cleansing I put my washer through earlier. Â So I ran the load again and VOILA! My clothes smelled professionally cleaned and as if they were hung on the clothes line, fresh, crisp and velvety soft.
The only caveat….my washer is still a stinker. So I am not sure if there is something else in my washer or what the deal is that is causing it to be a stinker. But my towels smell phenomenal. Not that they were stinky or unbearable before, but they are fabs now!
Are you suffering from a stinky washer and towels? Tell me….and tell me what you have done to rid your washer and towels and clothes of stink so you can have your own bottle in your home.
Extra Entries:
- Blog about this giveaway
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- Follow my blog
CONTEST ENDS MAY 8TH
National Kids and Pet Day
Have you seen people with those snarky bumper stickers that says the more people I meet the more I love my dog? Well I love to see those. Why? Because pets truly enrich our lives, our children’s lives.
I grew up with pets; as a small girl I had cats and we had the family dog. He passed at the age of 15 when I was 18 and about to leave for college. Since then and upon meeting my husband we agreed we always had pet in our home. We brought home to complete our family our first dog, as a couple, almost 11 years ago a snorty, scrunchy face, wrinkled little ball of love. Our English Bulldog Diesel. Poor Diesel was growing lonely so in October of that year we brought home a floppy eared, droopy eye, sad face little beauty named Daisy, our Basset Hound. The two of them were like peas and carrots and were our perfect family.
Even when we found we were pregnant, we knew these two animals would be of a great temperament for our children. Loving, kind, easy to care for (no excessive grooming or what have you) and of course, we were not worried about them with our children. But what we did not expect was to put down each of those dogs in different stages before bringing children into our home.
As poor luck would strike us, one month before Grant was due, The Chad and I had to put down Diesel due to rapid spread of cancer in his lungs as well as ruptured disks in his back causing him moments of paralysis if not permanent paralysis. This was no life for him and we went with the most humane decision.
Poor luck struck us again as well before Mother’s Day of 2007 where we had to put down my beloved Basset, Daisy. Sudden onset of paralysis due to a ruptured disk caused us to make the same gut wrenching, heart breaking decision that still brings sadness and tears to our family.
But not every story is as humane as ours. Families often do not consider the temperament of an animal or the time, love, and care that goes into caring for a pet. After both incidents with our dogs we invested in pet insurance for our current English Bulldog Ginger. I am a HUGE advocate for pet insurance now because if we had pet insurance I would be singing the praises of my two deceased dogs and how they both could walk again. Even though I am not, I will say that pet insurance is a FABULOUS investment as a pet owner.
As part of the National Kids and Pet Day I am helping to spread awareness about the care, love, and enrichment of pets in our lives and our children’s lives. Furthermore, I am helping to spread the word about Kroger’s pet insurance offerings and great pet advice:
- Overview of Kroger’s pet insurance offerings:
- Offered through PetFirst, Kroger pet insurance policies cover routine care and medical procedures for dogs and cats, and is available at more than 2,400 stores in the Kroger family including City Market, Dillon’s, Fred Meyer, Frye’s, King Sooper, Owen’s, Pay Less, QFC, Ralph’s and Smith’s. In addition to being available in-store, Kroger’s pet insurance can be purchased online at http://www.krogerpersonalfinance.com/pet-insurance/. Kroger’s pet insurance works at any veterinarian nationwide, with reimbursement typically occurring within two weeks. Coverage starts as low as $9.95 per month and right now, individuals who purchase online can save $10.
- Family Friendly breeds:
- Cocker Spaniel – These lap dogs are sensitive and sweet and enjoy the attention of children. Cocker Spaniels are obedient with training and friendly around people.
- Pug – This affectionate breed loves being part of a family. Outgoing and mischievous, they make playful companions for children.
- Golden Retriever – Similar to Labs in personality, Goldens are mild mannered and enjoy being around families and other people. These dogs are easy to train are gentle with children.
- Basset Hound – This breed is good with children of all ages. They are known for their docile nature and gentleness. Their long backs need to be supported when they are picked up, and an eager child can accidentally injure them.
- Tips parents can teach their children regarding safe pet play:
- Teach your children to pet softy, stay away from food dishes, toys and bones, and not to startle your dog or cat when it is sleeping.
- Keep babies and toddlers at a level higher than your dog. Dogs perceive height as representative of their hierarchy. Keep your children off the floor when the dog is in the room.
- Don’t give your dog toys that resemble your children’s toys or clothing. Stay away from fabric stuffed dog toys that resemble your child’s stuffed animals.
- Involve your child in your dog’s care. Even just the presence of your child in the same room while your dog is receiving his favorite things or activities can help build a positive association to children.
As part of this promotion Kroger has offered to giveaway a $20 gift card good for any Kroger brand stores. All you have to do is tell me what kind of pet you have. An additional entry would be to tell me what you think about pet insurance and whether that would be something you would invest in, or something you feel is too frivolous.
All additional entry options such as Tweets, blogging, and so forth.
CONTEST ENDS May 6th
“For helping raise awareness of National Kids & Pet Day I was provided with a $20 gift card to spoil {the pet in my life} and a $20 gift card to giveaway to a reader so that they could do the same by the Global Influence Network and the Kroger Co. The thoughts and opinions here are my own.”
Simply Go-Gurt
Yogurt should be a staple to just about anyone and everyone’s diet. My family THRIVES on yogurt as a snack, a dessert, or even a quick breakfast addition.
“New Simply… Go-Gurt is made from simple ingredients moms look for and contains no high fructose corn syrup or artificial colors or flavors. Each convenient portable yogurt tube contains a good source of calcium and vitamin D. Simply stated, Simply… Go-Gurt is a good-for-you, low fat yogurt snack that you can feel good about giving to your kids.
New Simply… Go-Gurt is available in two kid-friendly flavors, Strawberry and Mixed Berry.” (MyBlogSpark.com, 2010)
I can tell you that the former Go-Gurt was a HUGE hit in my house, but since we have switched to almost 100% organic on all our products I cannot say we have tried the new Simply… Go-Gurt, however, knowing Yoplait, the yogurt is delicious! So here is how you can try it for free and or enter to win a Simply… Go-Gurt prize pack courtesy of Yoplait and My Blog Spark:
Tell me what you love most about yogurt or your favorite flavor (any kind!):
Extra Entries:
Tweet this giveaway being sure to use my name  (@KariewithaK) so I see your tweet
See all adittional entry options where you can blog, tweet, fan, you name it for extra entries. Also be sure to click the link for your free coupon provided on behalf of Yoplait.